“I just want you to be happy, Phee.” Lila grabs my hand and squeezes. “And I don’t think that’s ever going to happen until you move on from that intense bastard. Even if you don’t want to.”
“I do want to.” I clear my throat lightly. “I’m done being this pathetic girl obsessed with a man she can never have. I do want to move on. I do want a normal life with someone who can love me back. I’m over him. Or… I want to be over him. So bad. I just…” My voice wavers and I take a deep breath to steady it. “I don’t know how. How do you stop wanting someone you’ve dreamed of for most of your life? He’s a habit I don’t know how to break.”
“Are you sure you’re ready to give up on him?”
“Yes,” I lie, wishing the words felt as convincing in my mind as they did leaving my mouth. “I’m done waiting for Nathaniel Knox to love me back. It’s time I focused on loving myself, instead.”
***
Two rounds later, we’ve cooked up a plan to help me get over Nate. And by we I mostly mean Lila.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I say for the tenth time, my words a bit slurred.
“You agreed!” Lila protests. “You can’t back out now.”
It’s true — I had agreed. But what seemed like a good idea forty minutes ago feels a touch too real, now that I’ve agreed to it. Lila had sounded so convincing…
I replay our conversation in my mind as we wait for the bill.
She leans across the table and speaks in a hushed voice. “I’ll tell you from experience, dating a million other dudes to forget about him isn’t going to work, not after all this time… he’s embedded too deeply to be pushed out of your heart with only the force of another man’s penis.”
“Ew!”
“There is a way to get over him.” Her head tilts as she stares at me, a contemplative expression on her face. “But you won’t like it.”
“How do you know?”
She gives me the look — the one that says honey, I’ve known you most of your life. I know you better than you know yourself.
I sigh deeply. “Just tell me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Lila.”
“Fine! But don’t bite my head off.” She tries — and fails — to hide a smile. “You won’t get over him until you’ve taken him for a spin.”
“What do you mean?”
She glances up at the ceiling, as if seeking guidance. “God, it’s like talking to Rory Gilmore, season one. Except she had more sense when it came to boys.“
“Lila.”
Meeting my eyes again, she grins. “Sometimes, the best way to get over someone emotionally is to get under them.” She pauses a beat. “Physically.”
“Nakedly?” I squeak.
She laughs. “All I’m saying is… give that bike a ride around the block once and you’ll realize it’s not all that special. There are plenty of other bikes in the shop with cushier seats, and better bells and whistles. Some of them have seven speeds and when those gears click into place…. Damn, it’s the best ride of your life, if you know what I mean.”
I stare at her blankly. “I have absolutely no idea what you mean.”
“Sex, Phoebe. I’m talking about sex.”
My mouth drops open. “You think if I sleep with him, it’ll be easier to forget about him?”
“That’s exactly what I just said.”
“Actually, you gave me a very convoluted metaphor about bicycles and—”
“Phoebe!” She cuts me off. “Just trust me. Guys like Knox… it’s all about the allure. The initial attraction. Once that wears off… you’ll realize it was nothing but infatuation. Lust, not love.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Well, you’ve tried everything else — including pretending he didn’t exist for ten years — and none of it has ever worked. You’re still as bonkers for him as you were that time in seventh grade when you walked in on him buck naked in the pool house with his hands—”
“AH!” I cut her off. “You swore you’d never mention that! And I am not bonkers for him. I hate him, remember?”
She snorts. “Riiiight.”
“Lila.”