“I talk to Briggs sometimes. She’s doing great, Austin. She’s touring around the world with her books. Attending signings everywhere. She’s really taken off. She’s happy.”
“Thanks for telling me that, Half-Pint. It’s always good to hear. As long as she’s happy, that’s all that matters to me. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy. I just wish it could have been with me.”
“Life is very unpredictable, as you well know. I ended up with Lucas. Aubrey’s with Dylan. Even Lily ended up with Jacob, and I didn’t think that would ever happen. So crazier things have happened in our lives.”
I nodded.
“I love you, Austin, and I’m so proud of you.”
I kissed her head, giving her a loving smile, and she left. I drove home, listening to “Mad World,” thinking about everything I’d been through in life. I pulled into my driveway, got out, and headed straight for the dock. I slipped my shoes off and sat with my feet in the water like I had countless times before. I lit a cigarette, letting the nicotine work it’s way into my lungs, and opened the letter that I couldn’t stop thinking about the entire drive home. Bringing the cigarette to the corner of my lips, I started reading.
Austin,
My rebel boy.
From the second you could crawl, you never looked back. You were the most independent boy I had ever seen before. You were so quiet; we never knew if you were up to something. Always needing to learn everything on your own. There was no holding you back. Your mom had to put a lock on your window, because you would open it at night and climb up the banister to sit on the roof. You were four. I remember the first time your mom caught you. She almost had a heart attack. The next day she had installed a state-of-the-art lock to keep you from hurting yourself. You saw her lock it one time, and you figured out how to unlock it to continue sneaking out. There was no telling you that you couldn’t do something when you put your mind to it.
That’s just the boy you were. So curious about the world, and every last thing it had to offer. But you were the sweetest boy ever, the most loving of all the good ol’ boys. You didn’t care. You did your own thing, often ending up alone. I worried about you a lot. Your parents worked all the time, and it was hard for them to keep up with you because you were so damn quiet. We all assumed everything was okay, since we never saw otherwise.
I caught you drawing on the dock a few times while I was looking for Lucas. You seemed so lost and alone. Even at that young of an age. The car accident changed you, Austin. It sucked the life right out of you. The guilt and shame came tumbling down on you. You weren’t the same boy. There were days I barely recognized you. It scared all of us.
When you took off, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting it. You needed to leave. You needed to find yourself. Most importantly you needed to forgive yourself. Love yourself in a way you probably never have before. I know you have gone through more stuff than I could ever imagine, and one of my saddest regrets is that I’m not going to be there to help you find your way.
But I know it wouldn’t matter anyway because you need to find it on our own. It’s who you are. I knew one day it would happen. The demons that haunted you would be at bay, and you’d fight for your life again. If you’re reading this than I know that day has come.
You’re happy.
And I’m smiling down on you. Proud that you made it back home.
I don’t have to tell you to take care of each other, your brothers and your Half-Pint. There’s nothing that could come in between a bond like that, ever. No matter what life throws at you, your family will always be there to catch you when you fall.
I love you, Austin. I’m here if you ever need to talk. I always will be.
Your second Mom,
Savannah
I folded the letter, and placed it back into the envelope. Inhaling a puff of my cigarette, remembering how many times I’d sat on this dock. Feeling as lost as she said I appeared.
I smiled.
Taking one last puff of my cigarette, stubbing it out on the side of the dock. I stood, walking back inside.
Knowing that I wasn’t lost anymore.
Chapter 42
<>Briggs<>
“You ready?” my assistant asked, grabbing the last few things off my table at the signing.
“Yeah, give me a second,” I replied, grabbing my bag from under the table. “Shit. It’s stuck on something. You can go, Avery. I can catch a cab. Thanks so much for all your help today. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Everything is set with the bookstore, you’re free to go.”
“Awesome. Thanks again.”
She waved, turned, and left. I looked under the table, not seeing what my bag was actually stuck on. I crouched down and crawled under the cloth, until I was fully underneath.