I lived at the sober living facility for over a year, attending a NA meeting at least two to three times a day while I stayed there. My sponsor and therapist became my new fucking best friends. I was fortunate enough that I didn’t have to work, and could concentrate solely on my recovery. I was working through my twelve steps of sobriety, currently on step number nine.
Making amends with everyone that I had hurt during my addiction. Of course, Briggs was the first person on the list. My therapist scheduled sessions with everyone that I had hurt, my parents, the boys, and Alex. I told them everything. They knew every lie, every memory, and every single truth. Including the shame and remorse I felt about all the things I’d done. Especially being a drug dealer. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in forever, my demons were dormant. But that didn’t mean they weren’t still there. They would always be apart of me.
I was still an addict.
I was just an addict in recovery.
I still went to my therapist regularly and met with my sponsor a few times a week, and attended daily meetings. Finally admitting defeat. I couldn’t do this by myself, and as hard as it was for me to ask for help, it was getting a little easier every time I did.
Which was often.
The boys and my parents, especially my father, took responsibility for their part in my addiction. My dad actually broke down, and had a few times since. Our relationship wasn’t fixed by any means, but it was getting better. Same with all the boys, they were my fucking brothers. They always would be.
We were family no matter what life threw at us.
When I was ready to be discharged from the sober living facility, I started looking around for a house to move in to. I ended up buying the home that belonged to the dock that held so many memories from my past.
The good and the bad.
My therapist didn’t agree with my choice I made, saying that it could present itself as a trigger for me to relapse. When I did my final walk-through before signing the papers, I quickly realized that I didn’t belong anywhere else, but there.
I was finally happy to be home.
I couldn’t live anywhere else.
It had been almost a year-and-a-half since I’d moved in there. Lucas’s company remodeled the six-bedroom, four-bathroom house. I added a pool to the huge backyard. My realtor said I was buying it for the family I wanted, and maybe in a way I was. I had people over often. It was rare for me to be alone anymore. I preferred it that way. I spent way too many years being alone.
I opened my tattoo shop back up, and had more clients than I knew what to do with. The place was booming, and I was scheduled out a few months in advance.
I even started sketching again.
I had yet to read Briggs’ book. Our love story. As much I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to turn the pages. It sat on my nightstand next to my NA book. I would stare at it for hours, but at the end of the day, I always choose to read the NA book instead. Every time. I had that book memorized, and I still managed to learn something new every time I re-read it.
“I’m going to head out, guys,” I announced, standing up after finishing my plate.
“Come by the restaurant tomorrow,” Lily said. “Jacob is working late and you can have dinner with me and the kids. Riley wants to show her Uncle Austin how she can write her name now.”
I nodded. “Can’t wait,” I said, giving her a wink.
We said our usual goodbyes and I left.
“Austin!” Alex called out, making me look up from my car door.
I closed the door, rounding the corner of the hood, as she came running towards me.
“Did I forget something?” I asked, patting my jeans.
“No, I wanted to give you something.” She handed me a white envelope.
“What’s this?” I looked at her.
“It’s from Lucas’s mom, Savannah.”
I peered up. “What? How?” Jerking back, stunned.
“She gave it to me a few days before she passed away. She said that I couldn’t give it to you until you were ready. Until you were in a good place again. I didn’t understand what she meant by that at the time. I held onto it all these years, hoping that one day it would make sense. To be completely honest, over the last few years I’d forgotten about it. When you were in rehab, I found it in my old art notebook my mom kept. I was looking for my book to come draw with you. I thought you could use some good memories right about then. I was going to give it to you the day you received your six-month chip, but Briggs gave me her book. I realized it wasn’t the right time yet.”
“Why now?”
“You’re happy, Austin. I don’t remember the last time I saw you this happy. You’re in a good place, and I firmly believe in my heart that you’re going to stay there. I’m not saying it’s ever going to get easy for you, but I can see it in your eyes. You’re Austin again. My good ol’ boy is back.”
I brought her in for a big hug. Even though she was a pain in my ass, she always knew the right things to say. I took a deep breath, appreciating everything she had just said.