“Then I’ll be wiping away your tears for days.”
“I never thought...” I expressed, getting choked up. “I mean I hoped, I prayed… I just never thought you would make it back to me.” I started crying harder, imagining life without him.
My biggest fear.
Losing him again.
“I’ll never leave you again, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I owe my life to you. In every sense of the meaning. I love you.”
He kissed me, grabbing the onesie that said, “My other girl.” Placing it on my belly.
We sat there for the rest of the day, planning the rest of our lives. That finally included.
A family.
Chapter 33
<>Briggs<>
A piercing pain in my stomach woke me out of a dead sleep. I immediately placed my hand on where the pain was radiating from.
“Austin,” I whimpered, recoiling into a fetal position.
He stirred, his arm that was draped over me slightly moving.
“Hmm…” he groaned still sleeping.
“Austin, I can’t… oh my God… Austin,” I stammered, the pain unbearable.
“Baby?” He sat up instantly, blinking away the sleep. “You okay? What’s wron—”
“Ah!” I moaned out in excruciating pain, tightening the hold on my stomach.
He pulled the sheet off us.
“Fuck! Baby, don’t move. You’re bleeding. Fuck! There’s blood everywhere.”
I heard him fumbling in the linen closet for towels as I lay there in a pool of my own blood and worst nightmare.
“No!” I cried, already knowing what was happening. “No! Please, no!”
“Shh… it’s okay.” He took a towel and wiped the blood off between my legs. “Baby, we need to get you to the hospital right now. You have lost a lot of blood. Hang on, okay. I love you.”
He picked me up off the bed in a cradle position, and I instantly curled into his chest.
“It’s okay, baby. You’re fine,” he reassured, kissing my head as he carried me to the car.
He sat me in the passenger seat and leaned it back for me to lie down. He didn’t let go of my hand the entire time he drove. I not only cried out from the pain but for the news we were about to receive. It didn’t matter what comforting words Austin kept saying to me.
It wouldn’t change the truth.
They immediately wheeled me back into the ER where the doctor did an examination and an ultrasound to confirm what was going on. One minute we had all the happiness in the world, and the next it was ripped away from us without so much as a goodbye.
I wanted nothing more than to block out the next few hours of our lives.
“Is it something that I did?” I asked the doctor, only looking at Austin who appeared as broken as I felt.
There was a familiar gaze in his eyes, one that I hadn’t seen in years.
Lost.
Devastated that our baby was no longer with us.
“No. Sometimes these things just happen. But the good news in this situation is that you got pregnant without a problem and you’re still young. In a few months, you can definitely try again. I’m going to keep you here for a couple hours just to monitor the bleeding and if all goes well, you will be able to go home soon.”
The good news… I wanted to tell him that there was no good news at this moment.
Only tragedy.
He left the room, leaving Austin and I to grieve over what we just lost. What we both wanted so badly.
Our baby.
I was discharged mid-morning, scheduling an appointment with my OBGYN for the next day.
“Are you okay, Austin?” I whispered loud enough for him to hear.
The silence was deafening in the car on the way home. Both of us consumed with the dark state of thoughts. He barely said more than a few words the entire time at the hospital.
He nodded, reaching for my hand. “Are you okay?” His intense stare remained on the road ahead as if it pained him to look at me.
I didn’t know what was the right or wrong answer so I went for the safe one.
“They said we could try again in a few months. I don’t have to go back on the pill. We could try—”
He squeezed my hand stopping me from continuing.
“Yeah…” I breathed out, leaning my pounding head back on the headrest to aimlessly look out the window.
Watching the streetlights and trees blur by.
Home was the last place I wanted to be, but we ended up going there anyway. Austin made me some tea and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Sitting beside me on the couch, he pulled me into his arms. I leaned into his embrace, fighting back my tears and the emotions threatening to surface. All his warmth was replaced by an unfamiliar frigidness.
I didn’t want to cry. I knew he was hurting, and the last thing I wanted to do was light the match to the fire that I could already smell burning. I laid my head on his shoulder, his tense arm tightly wrapped around me.
He kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry, Daisy,” he murmured, letting his lips linger there.
I didn’t know what he was apologizing for, and I was too scared to ask.