A camera on a long metal arm panned over the three couches. I tried to smile naturally and not like I was being held hostage.
Emily went on. “As you know, this is the grand finale of the Motherhood Better Bootcamp! The moms you see before you spent the last six weeks being mentored by me on how to become the women they’ve always known they could be. I’d like to introduce you to these women.”
Emily went down the line and, as the camera panned across the couches, introduced us by name. I was petrified. Millions of people were staring at us now. By the time she got to me, I was just doing my best not to visibly shake.
“Ashley Keller, mom of ten-month-old Aubrey!” I heard Emily’s voice say. I stared like a deer in headlights at a large camera with a flashing red dot indicator. Smile, Ashley, smile, I heard my brain saying, and I managed a nervous grimace.
I could already see the Twitter hashtag. #WhatsWrongWithAshley. It’d be trending before the day was over.
Emily leaned into the camera and smiled her perfect smile. “I’m SO proud of these incredible women! They’ve changed themselves, their homes and their communities in huge ways. Before I announce the grand prize winner, I have a little surprise for them.”
A large, flat LCD screen was wheeled in by an assistant. The women began to murmur curiously. What was going on?
Emily stood next to the screen with a remote in hand. “Ladies, you’re not the only ones proud of how far you’ve come. We have a little secret. We spoke to those who know you best and asked them to share their thoughts.”
Emily pointed the remote at the screen and pushed a button.
The EW logo swirled across the screen in pink and white. Suddenly, a man in his forties with toddler twin girls in his lap was sitting on a couch in a modest living room. “Lillian has always inspired me to be better.” Lillian covered her mouth and began to tear up.
“Watching her pour herself into this challenge just reminded me of how strong she truly is. I love you, Lil.”
Lillian began to sob. “We wuv you, Mommy!” the girls said in unison. I noticed Kimmie quickly wipe a runaway tear from her cheek.
One by one, the women soaked up praise from their spouses and children. I wasn’t surprised when a well-dressed man in designer glasses, sitting in what looked like a lavish mansion, turned out to be Kimmie’s husband. “You’re a winner, babe!” he said, winking.
Kimmie beamed and winked back at the screen. I coughed into my hand to hide my giggle.
When I looked back at the screen, there were David and Aubrey, sitting in our living room. They were on our old couch, which meant this was taped weeks ago. My breath caught in my throat. I missed that living room. I missed my life before I messed everything up and tried to become someone I’m not. I missed my family.
“Ashley is the most incredible, loving woman I know. She’s an amazing mother and blows me away every day with her dedication to our daughter. If she didn’t change a thing, she’d still be perfect. Perfect for us.”
I felt a sob rise in my throat and, despite my best efforts, was in full ugly cry mode in less than five seconds. I couldn’t stop. Sob after chest-racking sob consumed me. I had no idea David saw me like that.
A blurry woman handed me a box of tissues. It was Emily Walker, she was standing by my side.
“Beautiful, weren’t they?” She spoke into the camera, with one hand on my shoulder. I blew into my tissue. The hashtag had probably changed to #GetAshleySomeHelp.
Emily continued. “When we get back from commercial, I’ll announce the winner of the Motherhood Better Bootcamp challenge, live, right here on The Emily Walker Show. You won’t want to miss it.”
“Commercial!” someone yelled, and a flurry of makeup artists descended on the stage.
“Good emotion, Ashley!” Emily said, giving me a thumbs-up as someone dabbed at her eyelids.
I smiled weakly.
Kimmie touched my hand. “Are you going to be alright?”
I blew my nose again. “Yeah, I just...” I trailed off.
Kimmie waved the air in front of her. “No need to explain. When Max said, ‘You’re a winner, babe,’ I would have lost it, too, but I remembered that we’re on camera.”
Kimmie side hugged me. I could tell she was trying to be sweet.
A makeup artist approached me. “Would you like me to, um...?”
“Yes. Yes, please,” I said, bunching up my tissues.
A few moments later, besides slightly red eyes, I was TV ready.
“Twenty seconds!” someone yelled.
Anna appeared to my right.
“Ashley, we need you to move to the first couch.”
“What?” My hands began shaking. I was moving closer to Emily? This had to be good!
I swapped seats with another mom and wound up right next to Emily Walker.
“Doing alright, Ashley?” she asked between powder poofs from the makeup crew.
“Absolutely,” I said, still a little embarrassed.
Emily smiled kindly.
“We’re back in five, four, three...” a man’s voice boomed. The crew vanished as quickly as they’d arrived.
Emily flashed her pearly whites at the camera. “We’re back live with the Motherhood Better Bootcamp contestants, ready to announce the winner of the $100,000 grand prize! Are you ready?”
Several of the women grabbed the hands of the people on either side of them. I wrung mine together and tried not to barf all over our host.
“The winner...of Motherhood Better Bootcamp is....”
I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out. Just say it! I thought. Every second felt like an hour.
“Fiona Martin!” I heard the name being said and felt my heart shatter. I knew my chances were slim, but until that moment, hadn’t let hope die.
Fiona, the mom of three who made hats for premature babies in NICU burst into tears. She and Emily stood and the two hugged before Fiona was presented with a huge check.
I forced myself to smile and clap politely. Glancing over at Kimmie, I saw that her smile was tight and her eyes narrowed. I stifled a laugh.
“Stay with us after the break!” Emily said.
“Commercial!” the voice boomed.
Emily turned to face all of us. “I’d like to formally present the winner of Motherhood Better Bootcamp, Fiona Martin!” Once again, everyone clapped. Fiona was beside herself. Large tears streamed down her cheeks and a trickle of snot was threatening to make its way down her lip.
“You guys are all winners to me,” Emily continued. “Which is why I’m giving you all the Emily Walker Home set, absolutely free. If you paid for it, you’ll be reimbursed. I’m also treating you to a spa day in your city. I have loved getting to know each and every one of you, and I’m going to miss you terribly. Please stay in touch!”
With that, everyone rose and crowded around Emily for a group hug. I didn’t even know who I was squeezing as I embraced my new sisters. I may not have won the grand prize, but I in no way felt like a loser.
“We’re back in two minutes!” a voice yelled again.