A twinge of guilt formed a knot in my stomach: Aubrey. I was sure she was fine, but felt a little bad enjoying myself so deeply. Then I remembered what was waiting for me when I returned. It was almost a sure reality that we’d be moving. I’d known when David started his business that it was a risk, but I’d had so much faith that everything would magically turn out perfectly that I hadn’t considered what would happen if it didn’t. He must be feeling so bad right now. While I’d been worrying about finding friends and losing weight, he’d been quietly fighting his own battle for the financial security of his family.
I sat down on a charming wooden bench in front of a koi pond. A dozen big orange, black, white and red fish swam lazily among the water lilies and lotus flowers. I kicked a smooth white stone with my foot and it plopped into the water, creating a shockwave of circular ripples.
And there was still the matter of my La Lait friends back home. I’d procrastinated long enough. Maybe the best thing to do was send Nina an email to read to the group while I was here. Yes, that’s what I’d do. The bit of geographical distance was just the courage I needed. At the same time, I’d email David and apologize for everything that had happened in the last few months. What he needed now was a strong wife who was by his side 100 percent.
I took a deep breath. It was time to face my problems. I stood up and was about to walk back to my room when a stunning red koi with black stripes down its back caught my eye. “Aubrey would love to see that,” I thought to myself. Joy was always taking photos of interesting things to share with Ella and George. She called them “experience boosters.” George did have the most amazing vocabulary for his age.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and focused on the fish before snapping a quick pic. I examined my work. Too blurry. I needed to get closer.
Carefully, I made my way through the ankle-deep shrubbery toward the edge of the pond and snapped another photo. Better, but it was hard to make out the details in his scales.
I planted one foot firmly on the ground, rested the other one against a smooth rock wedged in the corner of the pond for leverage and leaned in. My phone’s camera clicked. I examined my work without moving. Absolutely perfect. It looked almost professional. I couldn’t wait to post this one to Facebook. As I lowered my foot from the rock, it hit a wet patch, sending my body lurching forward, and before I could think, I was completely submerged in cold water.
My arms and legs flailed wildly as I struggled to stand. After a few moments of rising and then falling again on the slippery pond floor I found myself soaking wet in chest-high water, my phone nowhere to be found.
“This isn’t happening,” I muttered to myself, trying not to cry as I, with the elegance of a sea manatee, made my way out of the pond on my chest.
My jeans and tank top were stuck to my skin. My top, which was only meant to be worn under my Emily Walker sweatshirt, was completely see-through. I pulled the fabric away from my chest and looked around. The gauze on my hand was soaking wet and stung. Thankfully, there was no one in sight.
I was pushing strands of wet hair out of my face and trying to get my bearings back when I heard a woman’s voice.
“Absolutely not!” she yelled. It was Emily Walker. I turned my head toward the sound. It was coming from the balcony above me. I had just enough time to run toward the wall and hide under the terrace before she stepped out onto it.
I froze.
“Thomas, you promised to be here tonight to help with the kids. I’m hosting a very important dinner!”
She paused.
“Okay, when will you be back? You can’t expect me to do this all on my own. I need your support. Sage is teething—I can’t stay up with him all night and be ready for taping tomorrow...” Emily’s voice cracked.
A breeze swept over my already cold body, sending a chill down my arms. A sneeze began to build but I managed to squelch it before it erupted from my nose.
“Why is it that your work is always more important than mine?”
I looked right and left, trying to find a means of escape, but there was no way Emily wouldn’t notice a soaking wet woman darting across the grass.
“Don’t you dare throw the nanny in my face. I’m still their mother and I need you here! I’m exhausted. All of this is exhausting. I can’t do everything by myself anymore, I just—”
Emily paused as if she’d been interrupted.
“Fine. Just do whatever you want.”
I heard her sigh deeply and then sniff as if holding back tears.
I shivered. I felt another sneeze rising in the back of my nose and covered my mouth but it erupted before I could stop it. My heart skipped a beat.
“Hello?” Emily’s voice cut through the silence. “Is someone there?”
I awkwardly walked out from under the balcony and tried to appear casual.
I waved. “Oh, hey, Emily! I was just passing by!”
Emily quickly wiped a tear from her eye. “Hi...Ashley. Um...are you wet?”
I looked down at my shirt and to my horror, the cold had affected much more than just my nose. I did my best to appear nonchalant.
“Oh, that, yes. I was swimming. I went on a swim.”
Emily cocked her head to the side. “With your clothes on?”
I smiled like an idiot. “I’m shy.”
Emily nodded, but it was clear from her expression that she thought I was mad.
“Well, I hope you’re enjoying yourself. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask,” she said, smiling tightly.
“Thanks so much!” I responded with too much enthusiasm before scurrying off.
It took me twice as long as it should have to get back to my room. I had to do plenty of ducking behind furniture and into stairwells to avoid running into anyone else with my pencil-pointed nipples.
When I finally closed the door behind me, I sank behind it to the floor. Thankfully Kimmie was nowhere to be found. Two thoughts ran through my head.
I’d just made a complete fool out of myself AGAIN in front of Emily. If the “tush girl” incident hadn’t taken me out of the running, “swimming with my clothes on” certainly had.
Emily is far more normal than I realized. I must have had that exact conversation with David a million times. I knew her blog was supposed to be all rainbows and sunshine, but it was weird that she never talked about feeling overwhelmed.
I stood up and walked into the pristine bathroom to take off my clothes. As I undressed and hung my wet jeans on the shower rack, I felt a twinge in my chest. Aubrey. She had to be up from her nap by now. What time was it? I looked around for my phone for a moment before remembering it was at the bottom of a pond surrounded by majestic fish. Great. Just what I needed. Another bill.
6 P.M.
I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and studied my outfit. The black wrap dress I’d purchased for the date night that never happened looked great on me, paired with black pumps I’d borrowed from Joy. It was long-sleeved with a bit of a V-neck and hit perfectly at my upper calves, showing off a little leg. I had skipped the makeovers I’d been so looking forward to in favor of showering after my dip in the koi pond, but Kimmie had volunteered, or insisted, rather, that she do my makeup and the results were surprising. Every time I tried to pull off a smoky eye, it looked like I’d been hit in the face with a baseball bat, but she’d created the look flawlessly.
“You don’t use lip liner?” Kimmie had asked while drawing on my lips.