At the class party afterward, I was grateful to be surrounded by kids and parents the whole time, as it kept me from welling up about the shame spiral I was in. Fired! As class mom! How was I going to tell Max?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Don Burgess with Ali and Lulu, looking at the class’s homemade snow globes. Part of me wanted to run to him and sob my broken heart out. Ron, while being my rock, would ultimately give me the “I’m the master of my own misery” speech. Somehow I knew Suchafox wouldn’t do that. He’d take me in those solid arms and tell me the people who got me fired were all assholes. Or would he? I’ll never know because, thank God, I didn’t act on that impulse. But I did receive a text from him later that day.
Nice job on the holiday party. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to you. You seemed kind of down. Everything ok?
I didn’t think my rage/humiliation was noticeable. I need a better game face.
Yeah, just the holiday blues, I guess. Thanks for noticing.
And not ten seconds later …
Well, I’m around if you want to talk.
Hmm … maybe that’s what he meant by coffee. I thanked him and wished him a Merry Christmas. I was too bummed out to even attempt to be flirty.
I tried to do what Taylor Swift does and just shake it off, but between the class mom thing and my wayward thoughts about Don, a pall was cast over my whole holiday season. Christmas Day was a complete disaster. Nina and Chyna came, of course, along with my parents, the girls, Raj (back in favor for now), and, to everyone’s surprise, Garth. I forgot that I had even asked him until he gave me his answer on Christmas Eve.
Nina still wasn’t in great shape and I was in no mood to prop her up. I mean, she had basically thrown me under the bus. I thought it was gutsy of her to show up at all, but realized she probably did it for Chyna. She spent a lot of time by the Christmas tree, drinking wine. The only person she spoke to at any great length was Garth, although I couldn’t imagine what they’d have to talk about.
It was nice to see Raj back in the mix. No ring on Vivs’s finger, but no hostility between them, either. Apparently they were at an impasse.
And I guess I am, too. I log out of my email and sigh. Asami has won. The only thing left for me to do is get Max ready for picture day.
Oh, yes, that is exactly what I will do.
*
As I plot my picture day revenge in my head, I run up to get changed for my first workout of the New Year. T minus four months until the mud run, and I know Garth is going to step it up.
My phone buzzes as I’m putting my T-shirt on. I figure it’s Peetsa, but it’s actually Don sending me a picture of a beautiful baby. What the…? I type back to him.
What’s up with the baby?
It’s me. Cute, wasn’t I?
Yes, you were. What the hell happened? You’re hideous now.
Ha ha, puberty happened. We all can’t be natural beauties like you.
I get goose bumps when I read this. I’m a natural beauty, am I?
Well, it’s a curse, this beauty of mine. I spend all day fending off advances from strange men.
Hey, I’m not that strange.
I laugh out loud as I put the phone down to tie my shoe. It buzzes again almost immediately.
What are you up to? Can you meet for coffee?
There’s that coffee offer again.
Sorry, I can’t. I’m going to work out.
I could help you work out.
I’ll bet you could, I think to myself, then snap back to reality. Why am I even encouraging this? Flirty texting is just a gateway to adultery. I know that’s what Nina would tell me. But it’s also harmless and kind of fun.
I’m sure you could, but I have a hot trainer waiting for me in my basement. Gotta go!
I push Send and turn off my phone in case I’m lured into any more sparring.
As I walk down to Ron’s Gym and Tan, I note that Garth has finally taken my suggestion and let himself in. He’s busy setting up some kind of obstacle course for me.
“Hey, Garth, happy New Year.” I walk over and hug him.
“You too! What did you guys end up doing?”
“The only thing you can do when you have kids.” I shrug. “You do fake midnight at nine o’clock and then head to Club White Sheets.”
“Where is Club White Sheets? Is it that new place over on Grand?”
I start to laugh. “It’s bed, Garth. Club White Sheets is bed.”
He looks confused for a second, then bursts out laughing. His laugh makes me laugh ever harder and soon we’re rolling on the floor.
Garth gains control first.
“Okay. Enough. While you’re on the ground, why don’t we start with twenty push-ups and fifty sit-ups, just to get warmed up?”
“Spoilsport.” I scowl, but flip over and give him twenty perfect man push-ups. I surprise both of us.
“Nice, Jen. Wow! New year, new you.”
“I can’t believe I just did that,” I pant.
I flip over and launch into my sit-ups with newfound confidence. By forty I’m hurting, but I make it to fifty before I collapse, panting.
“So much for the new me,” I say.
“Don’t be silly. You’ve come a long way, baby! I’m proud of you. Now, up off your caboose and let’s get going.”
*
Garth manages to have me sweating like a pig by the end of the hour. As I’m walking him to the door, he casually asks about Nina.
“What about her?” I ask a little too briskly.
“Weeelll,” Garth drawls. I think I might have scared him off. “I had a really nice time talking to her and I’m wondering if she’s mentioned me at all.”
“Jesus, Garth, I don’t know. I’ll pass her a note in science class.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I feel bad. I can see the hurt look in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just haven’t spoken to Nina since Christmas. She has been going through a bit of a rough patch thanks to her ex, and she hasn’t been answering her phone.”
Garth waves my comments aside.
“No worries. I was just wondering how she’s doing. We had talked about her possibly designing a website for me.”
“Well, she’s really good at it, that’s for sure. If she talked about it with you, I’m sure she’s already coming up with ideas. It may take her some time to get out of her funk and get working, though.”
“I get it,” he says. But I wonder if he really does.
After Garth leaves, I check my phone and see it has blown up in the past hour, thanks to Asami’s email. Everybody wants the 411 on my class mom demise. Peetsa, Ravi, and Kim Alexander all express their concern with a “WTF,” and Shirleen Cobb is not at all happy about having to teach the new class mom all about Graydon’s many needs. Only Suchafox sees a silver lining.
Maybe now you’ll have time for coffee with me.
I really need to make sure we’re talking about the same type of coffee. But before that, I’d better figure out which one I want.
*