Teeth gritted, tears tracking down her face, she hissed, “Yes.” Her only fathomable answer.
“Good.” I glanced to Elder Farrar. “Release her.” He did so, and she instantly breathed heavily, glaring under hooded lids to first him, then me, her fury barely banked, all of which I tried to ignore, it only pulling at me to hurt her. Focusing on that white solace, feeling it enter my system slowly, I stated coldly, “This is how it is going to be with no exceptions to my dictates. And really, they are very simple. One, I will never see, or hear of, you and Leric together in a physical nature. Two, you will keep your relationship quiet, even if you decide to marry and have children, and all that merry shit. Three, and most importantly, you will both respect me if you are together when I am near.”
She blinked ever so slowly in the hanging silence, my Lajaks not making a damn peep, Cain seeming to be made of stone next to me, although, his heat was wrapping around me nicely, so I didn’t move away or ask him to, the only bit of peace I felt right now.
“Lissa, do you understand what I’m saying?”
Her chest heaved once. Twice. Then, those damn tears began to flow down her cheeks again, and her smile…my God…the smile that lifted her cheeks was breathtaking as she choked, “The choice.”
I nodded once. “Yes.” My voice was chilled, and I made myself say the truth. “I’ve seen how he feels for you. He doesn’t believe me comparable to you in any way. He loves you just as dearly as you love him.”
She instantly sat up straighter, staring out the windows with an expression of absolute wonder on her face, mumbling absently, “You’re not his type.”
My chuckle was death. “I’m apparently no one’s type.” And fuck, wasn’t that the damn truth. I turned my attention back out to the window, thoughts in turmoil, but I tried to stay focused. “Lissa, can you follow my rules?”
I heard her jump from the bench, and I swiftly glanced to her, holding a hand out, tossing her with a pulse wave back onto the bench, holding her there when she had appeared to be coming at me with a fucking…hug. “Lissa, I don’t believe you understand the control I am keeping right now.” I held her steady with my pulse wave, her expression startled, and I spoke extremely slowly, letting her see what I truly felt for her in my gaze. “I want to kill you. I want to take every single perfect hair on your head, and make a noose of it, and hang you outside by your elegant neck from that tree,” I pointed to the perfect palm tree right outside I had been trying to ignore, “and then, take my silver knife while you’re struggling for breath and slice you right as you die so the scars are permanent even in death.” I blinked. “I don’t love him, but this bond I have for my One, is very,” I inhaled slowly, “intoxicating, and only my control is keeping me from mutilating your very pretty body in the most spectacular of ways.” Another slow blink as I slowly released my magic against her, lowering my arm, her face decently frightened now. “We will never be friends. I will always hate you. It just is as it is.”
I crossed my arms deliberately to keep from strangling her. “Now…do you understand my rules for you and Leric to be together?”
She nodded slowly, eyes wide. “Yes.”
“Excellent.” I itched my cheek, pointing an absent finger at her. “You should also know, should you ever hurt him,” I shrugged a shoulder, “you won’t even see me coming.” I moved around Cain, striding from the room. “So don’t even bother to run. Just say a small prayer, because you’ll be dead soon after.”
She murmured softly behind me, “Thank you.”
“Yeah, fuck off,” I muttered under my breath, hurrying from the room, my Lajaks quickly, and damn silently, moving into place behind me with varying expressions on their faces I was in no frame of mind to try to contemplate. But…I came to a halt just outside of the room, they, also, halting behind me…because Leric was leaning a shoulder against the wall, arms crossed; gaze down on the tile, his expression utterly blank. Inhaling shallowly, I waited until his silver eyes…guarded eyes…met mine ever so slowly, and I asked quietly, “Were you ever really trying with me, or were you pushing me away?”
His lips thinned the barest bit, but his voice was deep, even when he spoke. “A little of both.”
I nodded once, because that was what I had thought, and ran a trembling hand over my face. “In the future, Leric, I don’t want to have to pry into your damn mind to know the truth. If you want this relationship to work between us, I suggest you show me who the hell you really are and stop with the spirit bullshit intrigue. We are bound forever, fighting the most horrific of battles, and I would much rather prefer doing it with someone I trust.”
His lips thinned further. A slight nod of his head. “Understood.” He stared for a long moment, and his head dipped. “Thank you for not killing her.”
I snorted. “You would have tried to stop me.” That was why he was here after all. “Again, stop with the spirit bullshit. I don’t need your fucking platitudes and sweet words for doing what was right. I need the real goddamn man I’m unfortunately bound with to make a damn appearance and start fresh, so we can do our damn jobs.” My feet were moving, taking me past where my mind needed to detox from. “And, Leric,” I hissed as I passed him, “a magic bond doesn’t make someone whole. The love, respect, and trust two people have for each other does.” A thought as I quickly moved away, and I barked over my shoulder, “And follow my goddamn rules.”
Walking at a fast clip, I swiftly stuffed the daggers back into my treasure trove that had materialized when I heard Lissa squeal happily behind me and Leric hurriedly hushing her, he, at least, understanding the battle warring within me. Walking up the white stairs, needing to move, not using the elevators, I slammed into my Lajaks room, grabbing the first bottle of vodka I found, and demanded brusquely over my shoulder, “Everyone leaves me the fuck alone tonight.” And with that, I jammed the balcony door closed behind me I had escaped outside to, sat heavily on a white chair, holding my head with a shaking hand, took a large swallow of the liquor and stared out at the sun as it finished setting…and tried to pull my thoughts together on so many different subjects…and finished the damn bottle off while doing so…and then, another, barely noticing when Sin slipped outside in the darkness, scooping my drunken, half sleeping form from the chair and carried me to bed.