Cake Love: All Things Payne

"Yes, but you still haven't explained what it is."

Henrik palms his forehead and shakes his head. "Of course. Sorry. I just get so excited I forget not everyone knows what it is. I plan to build a company to help third world countries with their engineering and infrastructure. I help them get the supplies they need at a much lower cost, and gather investors to invest in technical schools to train their people to work on the buildings, roads, and bridges. I understand that in many of these countries the people have a very basic reading level, so I am trying to work with education professionals to figure out a lesson plan that will work. Anyway, it's in the very beginning stages. Zooey and I are trying to write up a business plan. I am thinking later on, when the company is successful, we can have our own planes and warehouses to help distribute the materials. Actually, your idea about the local distributors in Europe gave me that idea."

I’m in shock. This is something I never imagined Henrik would ever do. He has always been a stickler for detail and based on what I am looking at, I see that is coming in handy now.

"I also decided to take flying lessons. I had wanted to do that since college, but when my family died, learning to fly was the last thing on my mind. Over the years, I only wanted to think of work and not about anything that reminded me of my time before the car crash. But you have made me want to have fun again. Take risks."

"I have to say Henrik, I am impressed. You never told me any of this, except you did mention wanting to get your pilot license once but that's it. I had no idea you would be interested in engineering or anything like it."

He nods his head and shrugs. "Yeah, like I said I kept getting distracted with work and the people at work."

His eyes start to darken as he looks at me. Henrik reaches up and brushes his thumb over my bottom lip and without thinking, I flick my tongue over the tip. Pulsating waves of heat cascade down my body. I hear him groan as his woodsy scent reminds me how much I have missed being near him.

Then I remember the last time he touched me. He left without a word and disappeared. How, just last night he made it clear how busy he was and didn’t have time for me. His words last night cut me. Maybe New York made me stronger or my sleepless night last night allowed me time to really think about things, but I manage to find the strength to push him away. Henrik's touch usually causes me to liquefy but not now.

"No Henrik. You still haven't answered my question. Why haven't I heard from you these past three weeks? Why have you been ignoring me?"

He leans back on his desk, a few papers fall and slowly drift to the ground. I watch his muscles flex in his arms as the shirt material tightens from his grip. Just witnessing his shirt fill out has me questioning my decision to push him away.

"There are a few reasons why I disappeared. I had just started to work on all this and wanted to devote a lot of time to it. You were in New York and I knew you were busy with the program. I told you last night how I was busy and you were too; I was honest when I said that. I have done enough damage to your career, and the last thing I wanted to do was distract you from graduating. I had a meeting in New York with a potential investor when I saw you enter the hotel lobby with Aria. Luckily, I had just finished the meeting so I followed you into the hotel restaurant. I knew I should have stayed away, but seeing you...I meant it when I said I was selfish then. I had to touch you, see your face as you died a little in my arms."

Henrik let out a long breath before continuing, "I know I haven't treated you well Morgana. I clung to my stupid rules trying to protect myself from ever being hurt again. When you left after we were caught, I realized something. I wasn't devastated that I lost my job or even that you didn't say anything after I admitted my love to you. Knowing that I pushed you away and that I may never get you back was what broke me. You made me realize that love isn't a two way street. I hated my mom for never loving me back but when she died, I missed her. I couldn't understand why I missed someone I hated." Henrik shakes his head as he releases a nervous laugh.

"Then when you left it all made sense. I still loved you even when you didn't say it back. Even when I thought I might never see you again. So, I loved my mom even when she used me for show and died. I regret not coming to terms with that while she was alive, but I was too young to realize it then. Perhaps if she lived I would have discovered it. I don't know. However, I don't want to make that same mistake with you. I want to follow my dreams and love too."

Wow. Just wow.

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