“We brought only what we could carry,” He shakes his head. “Except Fitz has his computers, which is good. He tried to sell them, but I wouldn’t let him.”
“He’s acting like I can’t hack with a dinky old laptop,” Fitz’s voice resounds, and we turn to see him leaning against the doorway. “They pay good money to good hackers, you know. I’m looking into some leads.”
Burn makes a displeased grunt, and Fitz waves his hand.
“Don’t worry, it’s white-hat work. No police busting down our shabby little door, I promise.” He looks out the door to the living room, where Keri and Wolf still are. “Wolf’s trying to get a part-time job at a car garage, too. He’ll be good at it, if they just give him a chance.”
I’m quiet. Fitz pats me on the back.
“Don’t look so worried, Bee. We’ll be fine.”
“What if – what if your Dad won’t let Burn become your guardian?”
“It will be tough,” Burn says. “Getting the courts to agree with my side. But if I drop out and get a steady job once I turn eighteen, and with all the evidence of trying to get Wolf into one of those terrible ‘reorientation’ places, I’m hoping the courts will choose correctly.”
“And if they don’t?”
“They will,” Fitz says, his wink making the words no less ominous.
I watch Wolf from the doorway, his expression in deep concentration on the board game.
“I can’t let him get hurt,” I murmur. A hand ruffles my hair – Burn’s.
“I know. Me either.”
“Maybe stop worrying for half a second of your life,” Fitz drawls. “And try to have fun on your own damn birthday.” He’s been rummaging again, but this time he brings up a box of candles from a drawer. He empties it, one lone candle falling out. “This is seriously all you have? One candle?”
“It’ll be fine,” I assure him. “It’s just candles.”
“Oh no, absolutely not,” Fitz straightens, pulling Burn by the hand out of the kitchen. “We’re going to get you a full-ass set of candles if it’s the last thing I do on God’s green earth.”
“But –”
“We’ll be back soon,” Burn assures me. “Promise.”
“Keri!” Fitz screeches. “C’mon! We’re getting candles.”
“Candles?” She looks at me, confused. Her eyes slide over to an equally confused Wolf. “Uh, sure. Candles.”
And just like that they’re gone. Just like that, it’s me and Wolf and only me and Wolf in the house. My heart starts beating like crazy as I sit on the couch.
“Well that was a quick exit,” I say.
“I wanted to apologize,” Wolf murmurs. He’s staring at the Clue board like it’s the only thing that’s real in the world. “For what I said the other day.”
“Apologize?”
“You were under a lot of stress,” He continues. “And me adding to that…didn’t help.”
“Well, yeah. It kind of came out of nowhere.”
“Yeah.” He nods, his inhale sharp. “Well, you can go ahead, then.”
“And do what?”
“Tell me to fuck off?” He suggests. “Tell me I’m creepy? Something? Anything?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because what I said was….weird. And creepy. I wasn’t planning on telling you how I feel. Ever.”
I look at him, his fingers turning his wolf ring quickly.
“Why?”
His eyes get sharp, jade green boring into me. “You ask why too much.”
I laugh. “Sorry. Shrink habit.”
He’s quiet, and then;
“I wasn’t planning on telling you…because you deserve someone better. Someone who doesn’t try to expel you. Someone who can touch you without shaking. Someone who doesn’t make you cry like you did that night at Ciao Bella.”
His fists clench on the Clue board.
“I left you there. Alone. I didn’t look back once. I didn’t once think about the shit I did to force you into trusting my Dad. The whole reason you were in with him was because of me. And you got hurt by it. Because of me.”
Wolf looks up, hair shading his broken expression.
“So just tell me. Tell me to fuck off, once and for all. And I will.”
I’m struck silent, the burning force of his gaze charring my thoughts to ash. I can’t think. I can barely move. I keep trying to say it, to make my mouth form the words, but they refuse to come out. Wolf’s face falls, slowly, then all at once, like a cliff crumbling into the sea.
“Right,” He stands up, pulling his jacket back on. “I get the picture.” He walks over, grabs his present, and places it on the couch by me with a bittersweet smile. “Happy birthday, Bee.”
The clunk as the front door shuts behind him echoes hollowly in my chest. Like a rusted robot, I pull off the wrapping paper, and open the box.
It’s a book. A hardcover, gilded-edged book of illustrated fantasy creatures. Wizards, witches, dragons and gryphons and priestesses and mermaids in glorious, delicate detail; wild and free. Everything I used to love - everything I still love. Everything I want to write.
Everything I want to be.
Wolf.
He’s always known. He’s always tried to tell me to make myself happy, instead of others. To be selfish.
Maybe it’s time I try it.
I stand up, tearing the door open and taking the stairs two at a time. He’s almost to his bike. I fling my arms around his waist and hold tight.
“I like you,” I push the words out of me, finally. “I like you a lot.”
I feel all his muscles freeze beneath me.
“You’re just saying that,” He says. “To be nice.”
“No!” I shake my head against his spine. He smells like oil and leather and the wilderness – he smells like a Wolf. “It’s not like that.”
“I’m mean,” He insists.
“You can say that, but you do the red-cards. You try so hard to look out for everyone. Even me. The stuff I said at Ciao Bella wasn’t a lie – I’ve had the most fun maybe ever in my life, hanging out with you.”
“And my brothers.”
“No, just…you. Just touching your hand, or your hair, or any part of you. Just arguing with you. All of it. All of it was fun. I had – I had so much fun.”
“You cried,” His voice is soft. “I made you cry.”
“Newsflash,” I feel tears start to well up, out of gratitude this time. Out of happiness. “I only let people who are important to me make me cry.”