“I –” I look around. “I don’t know. He’s gone, and I can’t find him –”
I break into sobs, and Wolf’s voice is only barely audible.
“Bee! Listen to me – listen! You need to calm down, okay? You once told me you can’t be expected to read my mind – it’s the same for me, right now.”
He’s right. I gulp air like a dying fish. “O-Okay. Okay. I’m okay.”
“Where are you?” He asks, patiently.
“An alley, in my neighborhood, I think.”
“Can you get back to your house? I’ll meet you there.”
“Yeah.” I sniff. What am I thinking, calling Wolf of all people? I quickly hang up, regretting everything. My arms and legs feel like lead deadweight as I trudge back home. Why is he coming to help? He owes me nothing, and he hates me. How weak am I that I just gave in and called the one person I’d been wanting to call forever the second shit hits the fan?
Why did hearing his voice, even over the phone, feel like ice water being poured on a burn?
None of it matters. I get back to my house and wait on the front steps nervously. None of my feelings matter right now – not while Dad’s still out there. If Wolf can help me, then I’ll take it. I’ll take anything I can get, right now, no matter how begrudgingly it’s given.
Five minutes go by. Seven. Finally, the sound of a motorcycle roars down the street, and Wolf pulls up to the curb. He takes his helmet off and jogs up to me – I walk down and meet him halfway.
“Are you alright?” He says, breathlessly. His hair is a mess, his face dark with worry. Worry. Not for me. Can’t be for me.
“I-I’m fine,” I rub my arms, unsure where to look. I settle for his shoes, even though every nerve craves to look at his face longer. “But Dad isn’t. I looked everywhere in the house.”
“And your Mom? You called her?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “She doesn’t think it’s serious.”
Wolf mutters a swear under his breath. I dare to look up at him.
“You – You believe me, right? That something’s wrong.”
His jaw flexes, and he nods. “You study too long and hard to be anything but believed.”
Relief floods me. Hearing that from him, from anyone, eases the pressure on my chest just a bit. Another roar of an engine resounds, and Burn’s convertible parks on the curb. Fitz and Burn and Keri all piling out and dashing over.
“Bee,” Burn nods at me. I nod back.
“Hi.”
Fitz runs a hand through his hair. “You could’ve explained a little more thoroughly about what was going on before you took off like a bat outta hell, Wolf!”
“Sorry,” Wolf sighs. “Look, her Dad’s missing. We have to find him, and fast.”
“What does his car look like?” Keri asks.
“He doesn’t drive,” I say. “And he hates taking the bus. But he’s been gone for three hours. He could’ve walked anywhere.”
“No,” Fitz wags a finger at me. “The average walk speed is three miles an hour. Unless he was hoofing it, it’s safe to assume he’s within a nine mile radius or so. We can shave off, like, two miles, since people tend to take breaks. How fit is your Dad?”
“He doesn’t get out much,” I admit. Now that there are four pairs of eyes on me, with me, my panic is slowly lessening from a screaming typhoon to a shouting hailstorm in my head.
“Places,” Burn grunts.
“What?”
“What are some places he likes?”
“The corner grocery, but someone said they saw him walking in the opposite direction,” I say. “The, um, the park. The little one by the middle school.”
“That’s it?” Wolf asks. “There has to be more than that.”
“I told you, he doesn’t go out!”
“Right. I believe you. We’ll just…split up into teams, and check those two areas. We need someone to stay at the house, though, in case he comes back.”
Fitz and Burn look to me, but Keri shakes her head.
“Oh no, absolutely not. He’s her dad! I’ll stay here, and you go find him, Bee.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“Burn, Fitz, you check the park,” Wolf says. “Bee and I will head to the store, see if anyone saw anything. Call me when you’ve scoped the place.”
Burn and Fitz nod, and Burn heads to the convertible. Fitz lags behind, throwing an arm around my shoulder and hugging me close.
“It’ll be okay.”
We part, and I force a smile. I watch them go, then give Keri the keys to the house. Wolf turns to me, offering a helmet with a determined expression.
“Let’s go.”
I never thought I’d ride Wolf’s motorcycle again. I never thought he’d allow me that close to him, after what I did. But here we are, me holding the seat for dear life so I don’t fall off and him driving, faster than he used to with me in the back. But not fast enough.
“Can’t you go any faster?” I ask at a stoplight. Wolf turns his head over his shoulder.
“Yeah. If you hold on to me.”
“Is that – is that okay?”
“Right now, yeah.”
I lace my arms around his torso, and he revs the engine. The speed at which we take off is blinding – my stomach feels like it’s floating away inside me. Just for a second. Just one second of floating, of holding onto Wolf, and then everything comes crashing down. If we don’t find Dad – if we can’t find him even with this many people – I hug Wolf tighter, and try to drown the voices crying out about Dad’s demise in the howling wind of the road.
****
Bee holds on to me because she’s scared.
Not because she needs me. Not because she cares for me. I have to remind myself of that as we’re driving, as she’s asking the store clerk if he’s seen her dad in a shaky voice.
I’d ask myself why I’m here, but I already know the answer to that. It’s her. It’s her voice, hearing it on the phone and drinking it in like it was sweet honey instead of a sound. It was everything I wanted but refused to acknowledge; her voice in my ear. But it was wrong. She was hurt. Scared. Alone.
My mind went blank, and next thing I knew I was there, in front of her.
‘I love you’.