I knew exactly what he meant. “There was this one time, at a concert I was at with Nate and Jennifer, and I swear I saw her. I even walked up to the girl, took her by the arm and turned her to face me. She looked exactly like Kate.”
We sat for a few moments, lost in our own memories of her. “Back to what Ava found out. Um … well … shit I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just say it like Ava did. Dad, Kate was pregnant when she died.”
His face turned white immediately. “What did you say?”
Jesus, I really am just like my father. “Kate, was pregnant. Jackson was the father. She wasn’t that far along, and from what Ava said, Kate had planned on telling the family but thought she had time to get things settled. Whatever she meant by that.”
He sat there staring at me. “Dad? You’re not having a heart attack or anything are you because I totally didn’t pay attention to a damn thing you said in that meeting just now.”
He blinked a few times and looked at me. “No … I’m not having a heart attack. I’m in shock. Let it sink in please before you start cracking jokes.”
“Sorry. I’m just unsure myself how to process this and it’s been over twenty-four hours since I found out.”
My father stood. “I agree, your mother shouldn’t know about this … at least not right now. Let me think about this. Have you told anyone else?”
“No. Ava’s only told me and we are having dinner with Jackson tonight.”
His eyes widened in horror. “What? Why?”
“I want answers.”
He frowned. “What kind of answers? Your sister was pregnant. Do you want Jackson to describe what they did?”
My stomach turned. “Ugh. Really, Dad? No, I want to know how she felt about it. Was she happy? Did they tell Jackson’s parents? What in the hell was she going to do being pregnant at seventeen and in high school?”
Shaking his head slowly, he walked up to me. “Ryder, what does any of that matter?”
The lump in my throat made it hard to talk. “I don’t know how to explain it, Dad, but I have to know.”
Standing, he walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know if Jackson is going to be able to tell you anything that is going to help.”
“I know.”
“All right, I don’t want you hanging on to some false hope that he can give you the answers you’re looking for.”
I nodded.
With a sigh, he said, “I’m heading back home. Kiss that beautiful fiancée of yours.”
He reached out his hand for mine. With a quick shake, he turned and grabbed his stuff and was out the door.
Walking over to the window, I looked out over the city. Helena was nothing compared to Austin, yet it was home and I loved it. What would life had been like for Kate had she lived? Would she have stayed here and gotten married?
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the empty spot in my heart. “Damn it, Kate. Why did you leave us?”
I SAT ACROSS the table from Dani and Jennifer and listened to the two sisters go about some local event happening. Dani lived about an hour or so from Helena, so her coming in was not something she did often, but today she was thrilled to bring Lindsay in. Jennifer was currently holding the sleeping baby I couldn’t stop staring at.
The ache in my chest was strong as I started daydreaming about what a baby with Ryder would look like.
Light-brown hair. For sure her hair would be curly. Yes … she would have curly light-brown hair and blue eyes.
“Ava? You seem a million miles away,” Dani said with a concerned look.
Looking up from Lindsay, I forced a smile.
“Yep, totally fine. Sorry, I was just looking at Lindsay. She’s so beautiful.”
Something moved across Dani’s face. Looking at Lindsay, she looked back at me. “Ava. Are you pregnant?”
She asked exactly as I was taking a drink of Diet Coke. I started choking as she jumped up. “Are you okay?”
After I finally got done hacking up my right lung, I looked at her. “Why would you ask me that?”
Jennifer started laughing. “I was about to ask the same thing, truth be told. The way you’ve been eyeing Lindsay, and you have that look.”
I swear my voice raised in pitch. “I don’t have a look!”
Dani sat back down. “Oh yes you do, Ava Moore. I know that look, I’ve seen it on my own face.”
A heavy feeling settled in my stomach while my eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. “You’re both crazy. That’s like saying Nate is going to settle down and get married.”
Both of them started laughing. “Yeah, that’s not happening any time soon,” Jennifer said.
“Neither is a baby. Let me get through marrying your brother and trying not to beat Vanessa’s ass.”
Dani’s eyes darkened. “Vanessa, huh. She has been after Ryder for as long as I can remember.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure after today she knows that is not going to happen. Or she put a restraining order out against me.”
Both girls chuckled. “Why, what happened?”
I shook my head and took a sip of soda. “She rubbed me the wrong way and I may have gone off on her while flashing my engagement ring in her face.”