“Maybe Jackson will be able to help answer some questions.”
Standing, he made his way to toward the door. “Maybe.”
AVA GRABBED MY leg and squeezed it. “Stop bouncing your leg. You’re shaking the table.”
I had no idea why I was so nervous. No, that was a lie. I did. Just the thought of seeing Jackson made me feel sick. He was the one reminder I always tried to avoid. Maybe even the whole reason Nate and I left Montana. I ran into Jackson six months after Kate died. The pain of seeing him was almost too much to stand. He must have felt the same, because I saw it in his eyes.
“Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” Ava asked in a low voice.
I looked around the restaurant. “That we should have done this at the house. Because even though my sister is gone, I still want to kick his ass for getting her pregnant.”
“Ryder.”
Ava’s voice was laced with concern. I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry. I won’t kick his ass.”
Every time the door to the place opened, we both looked over, each holding our breath. Ava had no clue what he looked like, but when I released my breath, she would release hers.
Her phone buzzed as she picked it up and typed something back. It was her boss, Maurice. He had been keeping her busy the last few weeks. Before he would send her designs to clean up, now she was doing her own designs. I was so proud of her. If only he would put her stuff in a show. My chest felt light as I thought back to earlier when Ava was so proud of Kate. She never even knew her, but there was something there. Some kind of weird connection I didn’t want to admit at first, but now I saw it. The way she stood up and walked to that picture was almost as if Kate whispered it in her ear.
The door opened and Ava asked, “Is that him?”
I nodded and stood. Jackson scanned the restaurant before our eyes met. He looked the same, just a bit older. His sandy-brown hair was cut short and he was dressed in a suit.
“Yes, that’s him.”
“Go, Kate. He’s a looker.” I quickly shot a look to Ava. “What? I’m just saying she had good taste.”
With a huff, I forced a smile when Jackson walked up. Reaching my hand out, I somehow managed to talk. “Hey, Jackson. It’s good seeing you.” Motioning to Ava, I said, “This is my fiancée, Ava.”
Jackson, shook my hand and then Ava’s. “It’s good seeing you again, Ryder.” He smiled at Ava. “It’s a pleasure meeting you, Ava.”
“The pleasure is all mine.”
I pointed for him to sit. “Please, sit down. Would you like a drink?”
He laughed and said, “Yes, something strong.”
It seemed we were both a little nervous about meeting.
After the waitress took his order, he looked directly at me. “I have to say getting a call from you out of the blue has me a bit out of sorts.”
With a nod, I replied, “I know. It’s just … well …” I turned to Ava and she placed her hand on my leg and took control of the conversation.
“Jackson, I found Kate’s diary a few months back in the old stone house.”
His brows raised. “Really? Just now someone found it?”
Okay, so he knew she kept a diary.
“Well, she had hidden it in a place that really not many people would look to find it. I kind of had a few clues.”
Jackson looked at me and barely grinned. The last thing I wanted to tell him was my fiancée felt a connection with his dead girlfriend.
“Anyway, I started reading and it was soon clear to me that Kate would not have wanted anyone, like her mother, to read the diary. I talked to Ryder and Jennifer about it and they both agreed that Lucy should not find out about it only because there are some rather … personal and graphic memories.”
Jackson’s face turned red and his eyes looked sad. “Kate was amazing. I truly loved her with all my heart.”
I looked away. It felt like someone was trying to rip my heart out and stomp on it.
“I know you did. I can tell by the way she writes about you. But, in reading the diary, I found out she was pregnant and I told Ryder.”
Jackson moved about in his seat and cracked his neck. “Oh. That explains the phone call.”
I cleared the lump in my throat. “It’s nothing like that. For my own sanity, I just needed to know how she felt about the pregnancy. Why didn’t you guys say anything? What were your plans?”
Jackson picked up his drink and downed it in one gulp. Lifting his hand, he pointed for another.
“Please forgive me, I don’t normally drink, but it’s been awhile since I’ve talked about Kate and the baby. Well, actually I’ve never talked to anyone about it. I’ve kept the secret like she asked me to.”
In that moment, my heart broke for the guy. He had to hide the fact that he had a child with the love his life. I wouldn’t even try to understand how that must feel.
“It’s okay, believe me I understand. Totally understand and I’m sure this is selfish on my part,” I said, glancing over to Ava.