“It’s cool. You’ve got a lot going on.”
Just get off the phone. “Just wanted to say I appreciate your friendship lately. And while I’m probably being a little more sentimental than I’m comfortable with because my kids are gone, I learned too late to tell people I appreciate them and their help. So this is that.”
“Oh-kay.” Landon’s drawing out the word made Jay really feel like an ass. Landon probably thought Jay was drunk dialing. He glanced back at his beer bottle collection on the coffee table and realized Landon might not be completely wrong in that assessment.
“You sure you’re cool, Jay?”
“Yes. I’m good,” he said with false cheer.
“I appreciate you calling, Jay.” Landon was quiet and seemed to weigh his words before continuing. “I don’t have a lot of friends around here. It’s been nice having someone to kick back with.”
“I understand. Things get lonely.” Shut your fool mouth. That’d just fallen out.
Landon let out a sigh and his “Yeah” was spoken sadly. “I want to tell you something.”
Jay’s eyes closed. Damn, he didn’t know if he wanted to hear. He didn’t want to react wrong. “Okay. Shoot.”
“Just in the interest of our continuing being friends. I’m going to tell you something, and I’d appreciate it if it doesn’t get around because no one but my folks know here.”
Jay swallowed thickly but made a noise of assent.
“Jay, I’m gay.” The words hung there in the loaded silence as Jay’s heart banged against his chest. Landon continued. “I hope that doesn’t fuck up our friendship, or whatever, but I understand if it does. I just figured, you’ve been an open book. So … I should probably tell you.”
“That’s fine. And it’s okay.” He meant it. He thought. “So, the break up you talked about earlier…”
“Yes. A man. He couldn’t handle me living up here. He lives down in Brandon and he couldn’t make it up here much because of work. And I couldn’t quit on my daddy since he didn’t have anyone else to help run the mill.”
“That had to be rough.”
“He mostly gave me shit because he thought I was a closet case. I suppose I am in some ways. But, my folks know.”
That made Jay’s heart rate spike again. Did that mean, since he spent time with Landon, they thought he was too? Did Landon?
“Don’t worry. No one will think you are just because you hang out with me.” Jay looked at the phone, wondering how Landon had read his mind like that.
“That’s—”
“No, Jay. Really. I understand. If it’ll make problems for you or your kids, I get it. That’s why I told you.”
“I’m a grown-ass man, Landon. And it’s twenty-fifteen. Plus, I think people know well enough I’m not gay. I don’t mind hanging out with you. You’ve been a good friend to me since I moved back. It’s not a problem for me.”
Landon sighed on his end of the call, a sound of relief. “So, we’re cool?” Okay, there was a slight disappointment even Jay wasn’t daft enough to miss. But disappointment over what, Jay couldn’t fathom.
“Long as you can accept my apology for being a jerk this afternoon.” And that was about enough of that. “So. Fish fry tomorrow. You need me to bring anything?”
Landon laughed. “Sharing time is over?”
“We can braid each other’s hair tomorrow, don’t worry.”
“Why, Jay, if you say we can swap diaries, I’ll never understand how a woman could let you get away.”
“My softer side is a new development.” Landon’s chuckle made Jay smile, and he was too glad they were teasing and his head wasn’t going in three hundred directions, he couldn’t even give a damn.
“Okay, Jay. I’m gonna get off’a here. And no, don’t bring anything but yourself. Unless you want some specific beer.”
They eventually got off the phone and Jay felt lighter. He felt fucking weird, but lighter. He decided to take his ass to bed. It’d been a long and strange day and he just wanted to crash out now.
Chapter 7