Her eyes darted away at the mention of my mentor, and though she relaxed at my words, she wouldn’t look at me when she whispered, “But what are you expected to do to me while we’re there?”
“Nothing, Blackbird.” I waited until her worried stare met mine to continue. “You won’t ever have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable in front of others—the helpers who come to the house don’t count. They’re there for you. Tonight . . . tonight would only be like telling you to go in another room if I have to talk to William, or telling you to get me something. Things like that. Nothing degrading, but you can’t question it. They can’t see you question me. They have to see you obey everything. But even if you don’t, you don’t have to worry about being taught a lesson because lessons are only ever done between the man and his girl, privately. And I already swore that I would never teach you another one. Understood?”
This time when she nodded, she looked more confident, and that peace was back on her face. When the car rolled to a stop, she said, “Lucas, what if everyone does this?”
I looked at her with confusion, and she gestured between us.
“This conversation, what we’re doing now. How do you know they don’t all have these conversations and just pretend in front of other people?”
Oh, my blackbird.
“They don’t, Briar. You’ll see a fraction of it tonight, but as you meet more of the men and their women, it will be very clear that those men follow the rules. Doesn’t mean their women aren’t happy. And you can’t hint that there’s anything different between our bond and theirs . . . even to the women. They’re just as loyal to this world as the men are.”
I knew she was disappointed that I had just shot down her hope for the other houses, but I couldn’t let her think the impossible about them. I couldn’t let her think that we were normal when we were the furthest from that. When I was living with the weight of what our life, and my need for her, would one day mean for the both of us.
“All right, let’s go. And, Briar?” I waited until she was looking up at me again. “Don’t say my name while we’re in there.”
She jerked back as shock touched her face. “Am I not supposed to? Is that a rule?”
“It’s not. But in there? You need to mean nothing to me. And when you say my name, it makes me want things with you that I’m not allowed to have in my life, and I can’t afford to not be your devil in that house.” I got out of the car, leaving her there to follow me as crimson stained her cheeks.
By the time we made it to the front door of my mentor’s large house, Briar’s face was pale.
“You promise I look okay?” she asked under her breath.
My mouth twitched. Turning my head away from the window I knew William would be watching us from, I whispered, “Breathtaking,” then rang the doorbell.
The door was wrenched open, and I was thumped on the back of the head with something solid before I could turn back around.
Briar’s face fell, but I was already smiling despite the throbbing pain in my head as I turned to find Karina standing there with a glare and large wooden spoon.
Karina was my favorite of William’s women. She’d been brought over from somewhere in Italy, and had never once thought of going back. She’d always claimed William and this house were a safe haven compared to the life she’d been in before.
I don’t remember my mom—she’d left when I was young—and Karina had been the only one of William’s women to never have children even though she was the most motherly. From the first day of my training with William, she’d claimed I was as good as hers by reprimanding me and hitting me with that wooden spoon that was practically attached to her hand. She was outspoken, loving, and the one most likely to let you know when you had annoyed her . . . like my blackbird.
“Karina,” I said warmly and stepped up to kiss her cheek, but was stopped when she hit me again.
“I have been waiting for months, and you have ignored my wishes,” she hissed. “Months.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and breathed deeply. “You know how this works, you can’t just demand things like that. She wasn’t ready.”
Karina scoffed at me, but it wasn’t the same as when William did it. Hers was affectionate, like her. “Well, we have been ready. The others are furious with you for keeping her from us. Now let me take her so she can avoid the wrath that is coming for you inside this house.”
“Karina,” I said in warning and received another whack.
“Don’t you use that tone with me, Lucas. I am not afraid of you, boy.” She pushed me out of the way and a brilliant smile lit up her face, making her look younger as she stared at my blackbird. “Briar,” she said with admiration. “Oh, you are so beautiful.”
Briar looked terrified.
I cleared my throat, and Briar’s wide eyes snapped to me. “Briar, this is Karina. William’s first. Go with her and let her introduce you to the others.”
She nodded without hesitation and stepped past me to take Karina’s outstretched hand.
Karina began pulling her away, already talking to her about how all the women had been eager to meet her.
As soon as I stepped inside the house and shut the door, he was there.
“She’s quiet tonight,” my mentor mused. “She also looked frightened. I thought you said she was progressing.”
“She is, but Karina attacked me before we were even inside—of course Briar’s going to be scared now. I don’t think she was expecting any of your women to be so . . .”
“Like Karina?”
I laughed and nodded as the women rounded a corner at the end of the long hall, taking them from my sight. “Exactly.”
Unease pulsed through me, and I had to fight against the need to put Briar in my sight again. I wasn’t worried about how she would get along with the women, none of them were cruel, but I was nervous that Briar might accidentally say something she wasn’t supposed to. Something that would hint that there was more happening in our home than should. Hearing it would put all of William’s women in a tricky situation, because even though they cared about me as a “son,” they were loyal to William and this life.
The children born of most of these . . . families, for lack of a better word, went on to school and to marry and never spoke of this life to anyone. They also weren’t allowed to come back once they left. Some of the houses made the children think they were in a type of extravagant orphanage with the women as caretakers, so the kids never knew any better. Other houses, the women weren’t allowed to have children.
If any of the men ever took on an apprentice, it wasn’t often that the apprentices formed family type bonds with the mentor’s women, as I had with William’s. But I had come in just as the last of their children had left the house, and once Karina had claimed me as hers, the rest of the women had quickly followed.