Before I Knew (The Cabots #1)

“I love you, too.” He hugged her tightly, then closed the door behind her.

He stared at it once she’d left him alone. He’d spent most of his life fairly comfortable in his loneliness, but now the silence rang loudly in his ears and wrapped around him like an icy blanket. He wandered to his room and stretched out on his bed. The picture Colby had given him months ago stared at him accusingly. What, or who, is most important to you? Answer that question and then make a plan. The answer was obvious; he’d be an idiot to even pretend it was a close call. But he’d blown it, and he knew it. The only way he deserved another chance was if he came up with a plan.



Colby opened the door to the restaurant, determined to run through the list of chefs Alec had given her before the gala three nights ago. Chris had steered them through the past couple of evenings, but she couldn’t put off those calls any longer, especially if she wanted to dedicate more time to the foundation.

As soon as she stepped inside, she stopped. A dozen tightly packed vases of white tulips and pink peonies were scattered throughout the small entry. Her hands went to her cheeks as she took several hesitant steps toward the dining room. “Alec?”

No one answered. She continued her slow journey to her office, her heart beating a little faster with each step. Her door was closed, as usual. She opened it, wondering what surprise might be waiting inside. The aroma of additional flower arrangements nearly knocked her over, but what weakened her knees was seeing Alec in the middle of the room.

“You look tired,” she said without thinking.

“You look beautiful.” He fidgeted with the pencil he’d been twirling. “I hear the gala raised a bundle.”

“Not too shabby for a first try.” She couldn’t keep the pride from her voice, even though it wasn’t really what she wanted to discuss.

“There’s never been anything that you couldn’t do once you made a commitment.”

“We both know that’s not entirely true.” But she was done dwelling on her failures. “I hope you didn’t raid our donations to buy all these flowers,” she teased.

“Not to worry. This is all me.” He gestured around at the arrangements. “I wanted to surround you with things you love.”

She wished he wouldn’t say things like that if he didn’t plan to stick it out with her. “I’m surprised you’re here bearing gifts. If anything, I thought you might be angry.”

“Angry?”

“About the way I interfered with your family.”

“Grateful, Colby. Not angry.”

“It’s the least I could do. I should’ve been a better friend to you a long time ago. Maybe I could’ve helped you and Joe. But if I made some small difference with you and your dad, then that’s something.”

“More than something.” He pitched forward, as if he wanted to get closer, then straightened again. “We’ve called a truce. It’s strained, but better than it was a week ago. It won’t be easy, but it’s my family, so I’m willing to try. With time, who knows?”

It felt odd to talk about such intimate things while standing so far apart, but she didn’t want to presume anything. The flowers might not be a romantic gesture at all, but just a show of deep gratitude. That thought made her heart sink. “I was planning to go through the list of chefs you gave me. Is there anyone in particular you think I should call first?”

“Yes.” He hesitated. “Me.”

“Is this also part of your plan to surround me with things I love?”

“Or, in this case, things that love you.” He stepped closer, breathing a little heavier, or was that her?

“You said we couldn’t work together because of our different visions. You said you couldn’t make me happy. You said—”

“I know what I said. And now I’m admitting that I was an idiot. We started this relationship off with one hand tied behind our backs by grief and guilt. I know we can do better. I can do better. Will you let me try? I love you, Colby. You’re more important than any of the rest of it. Maybe Salvetti will write a nice piece for Saveur, maybe not. Everything that went down with my dad, Joe, us—well, let’s say I’ve revised my perspective on accolades. I’ll still strive for them because I like the competition, but if I have to choose between my career and my heart, I choose my heart and fried chicken.”

She fought the smile trying to reveal itself. “You don’t have to choose.”

His shoulders slumped. “I’m too late, then.”

“Sort of.” Then she placed her hands on his chest. “These past weeks I’ve realized that A CertainTea doesn’t give me the intrinsic rewards that delivering that check to the Burnside Shelter did. When I think about how much good the foundation might do if I focused more of my energy there, I get so excited. So you don’t have to choose because I’m no longer wedded to my vision for this place. I’ll be happy to let you take charge and make your dreams come true with less interference from me so I can spend more energy on helping our community.”

His arms snaked around her waist. “So I’m rehired?”

She nodded and he kissed her, finally. Another perfect kiss that went a long way toward filling up all the emptiness his absence had created.

He pulled away and smiled. “Guess I didn’t need my backup plan.”

“Now I’m curious.”

He tossed an envelope on the desk and grinned. “Something to sweeten the pot.”

She eyed it and him, then lifted it up for inspection.

“Unless you have X-ray vision, you might want to open it,” he suggested.

She tore into it to retrieve two tickets to a Maroon 5 concert in LA in six weeks.

“It’s not exactly meeting Adam Levine,” he began, “but it’s as close as I could get to that particular bucket-list item. I still have six weeks, and I’m leaning on a pal who might be able to get backstage passes.”

“Really?” She grinned.

“I can’t promise that part.” Then he turned serious, his thumbs brushing her cheeks. “I can promise that I’ll never quit on us again. Of all the bad ideas I’ve had and lies I’ve told, telling you I could walk away was the biggest of them all. Now we have no secrets or half-truths between us. Every day from now on, I promise to share everything with you.”

She dropped the envelope on the desk and kissed him again, letting the rush of heat race back into her heart after a week of being in a deep freeze.

“I’m sorry,” he said between kisses. “I’m sorry I let you down.”

“No more apologies.” She kissed him again while straining to unbutton his shirt. An ill-timed knock at the door interrupted their reunion.

“Go away!” Alec barked at the closed door at the same time she called out, “Come in.”

Chris peeked into the office, eyes widening with surprise at finding Alec. “We’ve got a problem with the halibut.”

Colby looked at him and smiled with a shrug.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Alec replied.

“You’re back, then?” Chris asked.

“I am,” Alec said. “But thank you for keeping things going in my absence. It won’t go unappreciated.”

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