“So has this all been a lie? Sleeping with me and telling me you loved me was some kind of penance?” Her words were choked, her cheeks red-hot with shame. “Making me fall in love with you was some plan to ‘fix’ me?”
“No, Colby. None of that was a lie. I love you. So much so that I couldn’t stay away even when I knew I should. Giving you up hurts more than cutting my heart out with a butter knife.” He rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head for a moment. “We can tell ourselves and each other that we were hiding things for the right reasons, but the fact that neither of us felt safe being honest with each other proves this isn’t working.”
“I came here expecting to come up with some plans to deal with the review and your dad. I didn’t expect all this.” Her eyes glistened, but she stood tall and proud. That made his heart ache even more. She paced, lost in her thoughts, and he wished he could read her mind. Then she said, “I opened up my heart to you, and you’re tossing it back all bruised.”
“I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to make you laugh and see you smile. I’m sorry . . .” He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to touch her, so he stood and weakly clasped her hand. “You want easy. Uncomplicated. That’s obviously not me. And our visions for the restaurant aren’t aligned. Let’s admit all this and let it go before we hurt each other more.”
“You’re right about one thing. After all the lies I lived through with Mark, I knew how important honesty was, and yet I fell back into patterns of managing things like I did with him.”
She withdrew from him and hugged herself.
“You deserve a better, easier guy. Someone like Todd.” He closed his eyes to block the image of her and Todd hand in hand, hoping it would staunch his nausea.
“How nice that you’ve already picked out your replacement. Should I give him the good news, or would you like the honors?” Again with the sarcasm, but he preferred her anger to her tears.
“Let’s not hurt each other more. I just want to see you happy, Colby. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” He didn’t know what else to say, so he said the next thing that flitted through his pea brain. “We should talk about what you’ll do about my job.”
“Hell if I know, Alec. I can barely think right now,” she cried. He’d obviously said the wrong thing. Then again, he doubted there was a right thing to say at this point. “This is exactly what Hunter thought would happen, isn’t it—personal problems making it uncomfortable to work together? Chris can manage the kitchen in the short run, but I need you to help me pull off the gala. Can I count on you for that much?”
“Of course.” Walking away from her just about brought him to his knees, but this was the right decision. He knew it, even as his soul rebelled against it. “In the meantime, if you want, I’ll compile a list of chefs that would happily carry out your vision for A CertainTea.”
“Thoughtful to the end.” It might’ve been a compliment if she hadn’t injected those words with sarcasm.
Colby turned to leave, but not before he saw her lip quiver. Everything in him wanted to wrap her in his arms and beg her for a solution that would fix everything they’d broken. But that’d be selfish, and he’d been selfish long enough.
“I guess grown-up dreams don’t last any longer than children’s, do they?” She drew a tired breath. “I hope your parents work things out so one decent thing comes from all this pain.”
Before he responded, she turned and sprinted toward her car, crying. That gutted him. But she’d fought her way back from a worse loss before.
She’d survive this, too, even if he didn’t.
Chapter Twenty
The last time Colby had called her entire family to a meeting at her mother’s house, she’d announced her elopement. Mark had popped champagne corks, and her family swallowed their shock with several glasses of Veuve Clicquot.
If they’d expected something similar today, they’d been sorely disappointed. She’d spent last night thinking about how she’d ended up in this situation. Why she’d ignored the signs that Alec was more broken than she’d realized and also capable of deceit. Why, like Mark, he’d promised her the moon and sworn his devotion only to then leave her without giving her a choice. And how she’d patch the gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be.
Crowded together in her mom’s small living room, her family looked at each other with concern. The kind of worried, tentative looks she and Mark had avoided by keeping their problems a secret. Secrets hadn’t worked out well then or now. Too bad it had taken so long for her to learn that sharing her troubles wouldn’t make her weak; it would make her strong.
Still, she’d only had enough energy to explain what had happened with Alec—and her whole history with Mark—once. Hence, the group powwow.
Now everyone knew everything. Thankfully, they were preoccupied with sending silent signals to one another, which kept them from gawking at her.
She donned a brave mask, even though picturing Alec’s face, or thinking about going to work without him, wrecked her. Logically, everything he’d said—all of his reasoning—made sense. But the problem with perfect kisses that make someone fall in love is that the heart isn’t logical. Now hers was broken again, and all the reasoning in the world wouldn’t make that pain disappear overnight.
Her mother remained uncharacteristically quiet. Colby suspected having Gentry, Jenna, and her ex in the house had set her on edge. But her mother had also been her and Alec’s most fervent supporter, which meant her heart might be just a little bit broken now, too.
Colby’s father spoke first. “Honey, I’m sorry you went through so much and I never had a clue.”
Gentry snorted, but bit back whatever snarky remark had popped into her head. Fortunately, her sister had the sense not to turn this into a moment about her childhood disappointments.
Colby shrugged. “You’ve got a lot of responsibilities, and I was actively hiding the truth.”
“My first responsibility should be to my family, not a balance sheet.” He frowned. “I promise things will be different in the future.”
Jenna laid her hand on his thigh and squeezed, wearing an approving grin. Colby glanced at Hunter in time to catch him bristle. She had to talk to her dad before her family ended up falling apart like the Morgans.
Colby looked at Sara sitting beside Hunter. The wrinkles at the corners of Sara’s warm eyes proved she understood the fact that life doesn’t always work out as you hope. She’d suffered through enough of her own disappointments to know that sometimes there was no easy answer. “I’m sorry, Colby. Really sorry. If you need anything, please let me know.”
“Thanks.” Colby took comfort in the fact that Sara and Hunter seemed more relaxed today, nestled on the sofa, his arm slung casually over her shoulder. Her experiences had made love seem as fragile as a soap bubble, but Hunter and Sara inspired hope.