Before I Knew (The Cabots #1)

Another rejection nicked at his heart. That muscle had more scars than both his hands and forearms put together.

“Dad.” His own eyes stung. “Colby lost her friend and then, less than three months later, her husband. Maybe if our family had stopped blaming Mark, he wouldn’t have jumped.”

“You think I give a shit about Mark Baxter?” his dad shouted. “As far as I’m concerned, he got what he deserved.”

“Did Colby?” Alex shot back, desperate to make headway so he wouldn’t have to choose sides. “If you can’t muster any sympathy for her, can you at least stop treating her like the enemy?”

His father shook his head. “You want to work for her, lay her, start a foundation with her, go be my guest. But don’t expect me to like it. And don’t make her out to be the victim. Joe was the victim.” He circled his hand around the room. “We’re the victims.”

“Frank, enough!” Alec’s mom stood, but his father waved her off and stormed out of the house. They heard him zoom down the driveway before he peeled off to God-knows-where.

“That went well.” Alec made a face at his mother.

“Nothing got broken. It could’ve been worse.”

“You think he’ll come around?” Alec needed her to tell him yes, even if she was lying.

“I don’t know.”





Chapter Twelve


“I can’t believe it,” Colby’s mom uttered for the third or fourth time since learning about Alec.

Stitch wandered into the living room and made himself comfortable on that old afghan, staring at Colby like an inquisitor who knew exactly what she was thinking.

“You think it’s a mistake?” She looked away from the wise old cat to her mom, although why her mother’s opinion on love meant anything remained a puzzle.

“Do you think so?” Her mother sipped her seltzer, legs curled beneath her like a young girl. The deep cushions of the corduroy sofa nearly swallowed her petite frame.

“More like a gamble.” An all-or-nothing kind of bet.

Her mom patted Colby’s knee for encouragement. “It’s time to get back on the horse, whatever happens. Besides, Alec is very handsome.”

“Handsome is irrelevant.”

Her mom cocked a brow and snorted.

“Fine, his looks are a bonus. But that’s not what got to me. Alec knows me and cares about my happiness. He’s patient. He’s obsessed with making my restaurant a success. And the way he looks at me . . .” She paused, body flushing from that perfect kiss. It had branded her. “I just wish I knew how it will turn out.”

“The unknown is half the fun.” Her mom shrugged. “Speaking of unknowns, how’d Hunter react?”

Colby leaned forward, knowing her next words would please her mom immeasurably. “You’re the first to know.”

Her mother’s mouth fell open. “Really?”

“Yep.”

“I’m the first?” She set down the drink, a delighted smile distorting her cheeks.

“Yes, Mom. The very first.” Colby chuckled at this simple side of her mom. Needy? Sure. But also easily enthused.

“I’m so proud that you confided in me first. Before Sara, even! It absolutely makes my day.” Then her mother’s expression became one of self-pity. “Almost erases my depression about Richard.”

Uh-oh.

Depression? The word still called forth visceral memories, making Colby’s pulse flutter until she reminded herself that her mom tossed it around every time she felt anything less than bliss. “I thought you really liked him.”

“I do!” She dismissively waved a hand, her frown solidifying into feigned resolve. “I did, anyway.”

No one performed self-possessed nonchalance like her mother. Colby couldn’t decide whether to admire it or be wary.

In any case, the news rocked her. Richard and her mom’s relationship had encouraged her to consider dating. He’d seemed so sweet; her mom had been so happy. Wrong again? Not exactly news that boosted Colby’s confidence about her instincts. “What happened?”

“He broke it off.” Suspiciously pink cheeks hinted at a story.

Colby crossed her arms. “Why?”

Rather than look at Colby, her mom stared at the throw-pillow fringe she was tugging. “Snickers.”

“The imaginary dog?”

“Yes.” She wrinkled her nose.

Softening her tone, Colby asked, “He busted you?”

Her mom nodded.

“How?”

“I was careless.” She shook her head in a self-pitying manner. “I invited him here for dinner last night. I even cooked.”

Colby stifled a chuckle. “Are you sure the dinner isn’t why he ran?”

“I used to cook all the time,” her mother defended. “Maybe not like Alec, but I can cook.”

“I’m teasing, Mom.” Colby squeezed her hand. “Back to Snickers.”

“We were enjoying a perfect evening out on the deck, actually. Stargazing to Kenny Garrett’s Triology.” A dreamy expression signaled that her mom had traveled back to that moment, but then her smile drooped. “When we came inside, I took some things into the kitchen and left him milling around here. I returned to find him studying the photos of you, your brother . . . Stitch. He quizzed me about why Snickers wasn’t in any.”

“Oh, no.” Colby covered her mouth with her hands. She shouldn’t giggle, but this sounded like a cheesy sitcom episode.

“I was so flustered. I mean, I hadn’t thought about that, you know.” She stared into space while gulping more soda. “I had two choices. Keep fibbing or fess up.”

“So you confessed.”

“I did.” She sighed and sat back, now stretching out her legs. “I’d hoped he might chuckle about the lengths I went to in order to spend time with him.”

“He didn’t see the humor?”

“No! He was ‘deeply troubled’ by my lie, and by how I made Hunter lie. Said he couldn’t be with someone so dubious.” Shaking her head, she added, “I mean, really. Dubious.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.” Breakups. Another kind of special hell relationships often bring. In fact, Colby might be sitting on this couch crying over Alec someday.

“He acted like I lied about another man or something.” Her mother snorted. “Honestly, he overreacted.”

Perhaps he had, but Colby couldn’t completely dismiss his uneasiness. “Some people think if you’re willing to lie about something frivolous, then you’ll definitely lie when the stakes are high.”

Alec had lied to Joe to cause pain and then kept it a secret for years. Might he also lie to or keep secrets from her? After a marriage riddled with half-truths, that idea held no appeal.

“Don’t pretend you’ve never fibbed.” Her mother rolled her eyes. “Everyone tells white lies. Most people tell real lies once in a while, too.”

“Maybe.” In truth, Colby hadn’t been completely honest with anyone in years. Where exactly was the line between protecting one’s privacy and lying? And would she and Alec agree on that line? “But you can’t be shocked when a lie causes you to lose someone’s respect, either.”

“Let’s not discuss this anymore.” Her electric-blue eyes dimmed.

Jamie Beck's books