Before I Knew (The Cabots #1)

“I don’t really think about it.” She wouldn’t confess that the thought of dating was more terrifying than being caught naked in a crowd.

Because Mark and Colby had avoided family and friends whenever he’d swing to either extreme, Sara and Hunter had little idea of her marital ups and downs. Or of how difficult it had been to keep his secrets, even when she’d understood his concern. Mark hadn’t feared much, but that stigma had scared the shit out of him. He’d been convinced it would hurt his career opportunities by making his boss and peers doubt and fear him. And he’d already been somewhat of an outsider in her family, so she hadn’t wanted to widen that gap.

“I’m not suggesting you can ever replace Mark.” Sara squeezed Colby’s hand, apparently sensing her surge of sadness. “But you should consider your future and the family you may want.”

“Not everyone’s like you, Sara. Maybe some of us aren’t meant to be wives and mothers.” I failed miserably.

Sara frowned. “Maybe not, but you are.”

“She is what?” Gentry asked, having waltzed into the kitchen carrying some dirty dishes, which she set in the sink.

“Meant to fall in love again and have a family.” Sara smiled.

Gentry rolled those green eyes. “Why get married when you can date around?”

“You’re only twenty-five. We’ll see how you feel in another five years.” Sara laughed. “Or if you meet Mr. Right.”

“Mr. Right Now is just fine with me.” Gentry grabbed the bottle of wine and poured herself a fresh glass. “Not that you’d understand that. Jeez, you picked Hunter. Who could be more predictable than him? Clearly you and I don’t want the same things.”

Her tone had been light, but Colby noted a defensive sparkle in Sara’s eyes.

“We should be so lucky as Hunter and Sara.” Colby raised her glass like a toast. “They’re perfectly matched.”

Sara’s gaze wandered away for a moment. Before Colby could ask why, Sara said, “Let’s go back outside with the guys.”

“Actually, I’m going to grab my laptop from my car to show Colby the photos I took for the website. Hunter will probably want to see, too, even if he no longer gets a vote.” She flashed an impish grin and dashed outside.

“She’s so frank.” Sara wrinkled her nose. “One of these days her lack of discretion will be her undoing.”

“I know she drives Hunter crazy.” Colby sighed. Her type A brother couldn’t comprehend Gentry’s laissez-faire attitude, or the way Dad and Jenna pampered her. Neither could Colby, but it didn’t irk her the way it got under Hunter’s skin.

“Only because your dad tolerates so much from Gentry that he never let you and your brother get away with.” Sara pressed her index finger to her lips, ending the conversation just before they passed through the French doors to the slate patio.

Hunter’s Craftsman-style house, which clung to a wooded hillside, had a partial view of Lake Sandy. A vigorous fire burned in the copper fire pit, infusing the night air with heat and a smoky aroma. Summer evenings like this were the stuff of movies, not real life.

Colby slid onto one of the empty Adirondack chairs. Given Sara’s heightened observations, she made herself look at Alec and smile as if it were old times. Hopefully, the fact that she’d pressed her hand against her stomach to settle its cartwheels went unnoticed.

Gentry returned with her laptop and her camera bag. “Come see.”

Despite Gentry’s pretense of indifference, a spark of pride lit her eyes. Ah, good. Colby might’ve failed to save Mark, but she wouldn’t fail her sister. No more taking tomorrows for granted when it came to her family.

Gentry flipped open the laptop and began scrolling through her photos. She’d taken some artistic shots of the interior: wood and glass, tables and chairs, the modern chandeliers, and some of Alec’s dishes. The exterior shots were a bit more generic but did the job, showing the garden beds, gazebo, and lake views.

“These are wonderful.” Colby patted Gentry’s back.

“What’s missing are photos of you and Alec. I think we need those for the ‘About Us’ page. Let’s do that now, before the sun sets.” Gentry reached for Alec’s hand. “You first, handsome.”

Sara’s eyes bugged with surprise. Hunter scowled, and Alec froze in the face of the bald flirtation. Then his lips quirked and he rose. “Lead the way.”

Gentry led Alec to the corner of the patio and positioned him to take advantage of the soft evening light. Colby’s focus on whatever Hunter and Sara were discussing faltered because she was eavesdropping on Gentry and Alec. Epic fail there. Only Gentry’s playful laughter pierced the melodic murmur of Alec’s deep voice.

“Colby, your turn,” Gentry finally called. Before Alec could escape, she grabbed his arm. “Actually, let’s get some with you two together.”

Colby glanced at Alec. The setting sun glinted in his eyes, making the gold in his olive-colored irises sparkle. He shrugged before stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. Those gray pants that fit him so well, their flat front calling attention to his trim waist and narrow hips. Horrified by her observation, she yanked her gaze back up to his face only to catch him cocking one brow. Shoot. Busted like a kid with a mouthful of cookies.

Her entire body flushed, but she managed to walk toward him and Gentry with confidence. She stood beside Alec and smiled for the camera, hoping her photos didn’t turn out like those awful middle school ones where she’d tried to hide her braces.

“Side by side doesn’t look right. Stand in front of Alec, like a prom picture,” Gentry ordered.

In her peripheral vision, Colby noticed Sara watching them with her head tipped, her wineglass at her lips.

Colby stepped in front of Alec. She could feel the heat of his body in the space between them. That, plus the faint bergamot scent of his cologne, made her dizzy. The hairs on her neck and arms prickled with awareness when his breath brushed softly against her hair. Had he just touched her waist, or was that wishful thinking? Honestly, this mad infatuation couldn’t continue. Hyde. Hyde. Hyde, she reminded herself, determined not to make another impulsive mistake like she had with Mark.

Gentry shot Colby an annoyed look. “It would help if you’d smile instead of giving me that deer-in-the-headlights look.”

“Sorry,” Colby mumbled, wishing she could rein in her thoughts. She noted Sara smothering a giggle.

“Should I tell a joke?” Alec was clearly fishing for a way to break the tension.

“She asked me to smile. If I recall, your jokes were never very funny.” Colby remembered his childish jokes, and how he’d often ended them with a silly “bah dum bum.”

“Did you know that atheism is a non-prophet organization?” He paused. “Bah dum—”

“Stop it.” Colby elbowed his ribs, grinning.

“You’re smiling now, though, right?” he murmured.

She was indeed.

“You two look good together.” Gentry snapped several photos, then turned off her camera. “Maybe you ought to rethink that stupid rule, Colby.”

Colby’s heart stopped. Truly.

Jamie Beck's books