“If you all enjoy it, you could lobby to hold the firm’s annual holiday dinner here in December.” She remembered being a first-year associate at that dinner years ago.
“I love you in a dark suit.” She laughed as Mark twirled her around the dance floor to the band’s rendition of “I Could Write a Book.” All around them, her colleagues were dining and drinking in the ballroom decorated with twinkling light-strewn garland.
“I love you . . . period.” He pulled her close, bussing a quick kiss on her lips. “Next year will be so much better, I swear. I don’t want to lose you, Colby.”
They’d been frightened by his behavior and diagnosis, but with treatment, he’d been doing better. “You’ll never lose me. We’re in this together, and together we can conquer anything.”
He’d been so dashing and happy. It had made it easy to pretend they weren’t hiding the truth from the world or from themselves.
“Impressing a roomful of lawyers and rich clients could be very good for business.” Todd winked before stuffing the paperwork back in his briefcase, and she was glad to see that her putting him off hadn’t made things between them awkward.
“Let me walk you out.” She followed him into the dining room, where they ran into Alec, who’d just blown through the kitchen doors like the Tasmanian Devil. Now what?
He stabbed one hand through his hair before he saw them. “Sorry.”
Colby’s body heated from a mix of irritation and embarrassment as she watched Alec open and close his fists.
She turned her face away from Todd. Shooting Alec a warning with a look, she then spoke through a forced smile and clenched teeth. “Alec, this is my former colleague Todd Martin. He’ll be here for the soft opening.”
Alec stepped toward them and shook Todd’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Funny how she used to consider Alec a little geeky, but next to Todd he appeared vital and intense. Determined. And, despite better judgment—or rather, because of her lack of judgment—sexy.
“This is our executive chef, Alec Morgan.” Colby’s phony smile faltered thanks to her screwed-up thoughts.
“Alec.” Todd returned the firm handshake with a pleasant grin. A puppy compared with Alec’s pit bull presence. He pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. “I’m looking forward to being your guinea pig.”
Alec rocked back slightly on his heels and nodded. “I’ll aim to make it memorable.”
“For Colby’s sake, I hope you succeed.” Todd brushed his hand along her shoulder but didn’t let it linger. Still, Colby noticed Alec’s gaze home in on Todd’s gesture.
“Todd is on his way out, so we’ll leave you to whatever it is you rushed out here to do.” Colby nodded and led Todd away from Alec, who stood there blinking.
As they approached the door, Todd said, “Think about dinner, okay? Anytime, anyplace. I’ll even do Thai.”
“You hate Thai.”
“But you like it.” He grasped her hand and squeezed it. “At the very least, we’d have a pleasant night out, Colby. How long has it been since you’ve had one of those?”
Very recently. With Alec. The night she’d been bracing for a fight but instead had been treated to a delicious meal. Not that she, his boss, should entertain thoughts in his direction. His family would never look at her without thinking of Joe’s death. Most important, she shouldn’t invite another man into her personal life who could change so suddenly and violently, no matter how oddly mesmerizing he looked when brimming with emotion.
If she were to date again, she’d have to choose someone with less baggage. Was that so much to ask? “Let me think about it.”
Deep down she knew a fresh start meant more than a new career. It meant taking chances again. Calculated chances. Todd might not rock her world, but he wouldn’t blow it up, either. They were true friends with similar interests, and that was as good of a foundation as any for a relationship.
She waved goodbye and then turned to find Alec still standing in the dining room, staring at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” His quiet tone drew her in. It was as if he’d bottled up all that vitality with a heavy-duty cork. Unnerving, really, the way he could turn it off and on so fast.
“If nothing’s wrong, why’d you blow back out here looking like you wanted to kill someone?”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Then why are you looking at me with that tight face?” What kinds of screwed-up moods were coursing through him, and when had this become part of his personality? Mark’s illness hadn’t surfaced until his midtwenties. Had Alec also changed dramatically after college, and she’d just never been around him enough to notice?
“Now?” He didn’t blink. “I suppose I’m just surprised.”
“By what?” She stood, rooted to the ground, wondering why he looked almost dejected.
“By the fact you’d go out with him.” His jaw ticked before his gaze skittered away from hers.
What did that mean, and why did it feel like the temperature in the room increased by ten degrees? “Why does that surprise you?”
“Because he’s nothing like Mark,” he replied without any hesitation.
Exactly, she thought, and then swallowed the lump of guilt in her throat from years spent living in the gray area between truth and lies. She stepped closer to Alec—the invisible energy from his body gripping her like a magnetic pull.
“You never liked Mark. And, anyway, just the other night you told me to get back out there.” Her pulse drummed rapidly thanks to this uncomfortable conversation. Did she care what Alec thought, or whether the idea of Todd and her bothered him? “Has something changed?”
Alec rubbed the back of his neck before shoving his hands in his pockets. “No. I want you to be happy.”
As if love secured happiness. Not in her experience—nor her mom’s, for that matter. Maybe Gentry had a point about love and marriage, after all.
In any case, she detected melancholy in Alec’s voice, although she didn’t doubt his sincerity. Her thoughts skipped back to the puzzle on his coffee table. She pictured him sitting alone night after night, working on that instead of being with people. She’d always assumed he’d preferred his solitude, but now she wondered. Could he, like her, be using it as a shield against disappointment and hurt? Had his experiences, like hers, made him wary?
Is that why he bullied the staff?
“I think we should end each day with a staff meeting where we offer some kind of positive feedback.” She braced for his reaction.
“What?” He was looking at her as if her skin had changed color.
“You heard me, Alec.”
“You’re serious?”
“Deadly. Maybe if you’re forced to acknowledge the things that are going well every day, you won’t be so quick to blow your top.”
“Why on earth would I pander to my staff, especially with so little time until the opening?”
“You just said you wanted me to be happy. This will make me happy.”
He stared at her, his jaw clenching as time stretched between them. “Fine.”
Before she spoke again, he wandered toward the kitchen.
“Alec?”