While in her office, Colby set down her pen and listened for another outburst from the kitchen. He’d fooled her these past several days, masking an egomaniacal temper with a soft voice and delicious pastries. More proof of her poor judgment when it came to people and, more specifically, men.
Her phone alarm beeped, reminding her of her appointment with her former colleague Todd Martin. He’d agreed to bring the final estate paperwork here. Todd had been a true friend during her tenure at the law firm. Given that he’d started in family law before switching to estates and trusts, he’d also been the one person she’d confided in when she’d been considering divorcing Mark.
She’d made those inquiries just prior to Joe’s accident. Even now a sense of disloyalty pervaded. It hadn’t been easy to admit that she’d no longer loved Mark the way a wife should love her husband. She disliked herself immensely for it, and yet he wouldn’t commit to a protocol, and she hadn’t been able to envision another forty or more years on that uncertain path.
She hadn’t wanted to hurt him. Or abandon him. Or do anything to make his already-difficult life any harder or more isolated. To this day, Mark’s defeated expression when he’d discovered her change of heart gripped her throat like an angry pair of hands.
“Colby?” Todd knocked on her office doorjamb, jerking her from the painful memory.
A little on the short and stocky side, Todd reminded her of a teddy bear, with his boyish, dimpled face and light-brown curls. A teddy bear with tortoiseshell glasses, a pink-and-blue bow tie, and an encyclopedic memory.
“I didn’t hear you come in.” She walked around her desk to give him a friendly hug. “Thanks for coming all the way out here.”
“No thanks needed. I love any excuse to get out of the office.” He sat in an empty chair and placed a manila envelope on her desk. “The place looks great, by the way. All this and you jumped off the billable-hour train.”
“I don’t miss that!” she chuckled. “But I do miss the people.”
“We miss you, too.” His warm smile helped her set aside disturbing comparisons of Alec and Mark. “Your replacement is competent, but she isn’t a team player.”
“Sorry.” Colby grimaced.
“No, you’re not.” He pursed his face comically while shaking his head.
“I swear I am!” She grinned. Then her gaze landed on the large envelope, and she let loose a quick sigh. “So this is it.”
“The last of the paperwork for Mark’s estate.” Todd’s voice turned sober, and his cheerful gaze softened. “I’ll witness everything and finalize the filings.”
“Sometimes it’s still so unreal.” She stared at the envelope, toying with her wedding band. “How can these papers be all that’s left of someone who, at his best, was so energetic and charming?”
“It’s not all that’s left. You have your memories. I know there were issues in your marriage, but there’d also been a lot of love. Hold on to the good memories, and let the rest go.”
Like a slide show, she remembered their first date, when Mark had serenaded her with his guitar. How she’d lain in his arms for hours kissing and talking. Their wedding, when he’d gotten teary during their vows. His terrible home science experiments, the enormous bookcase he’d built and painted her favorite color (lilac), his love for Monty Python movies, the way he always sought Hunter’s and her father’s approval.
But she couldn’t hold back the other memories. The sexts from other women. The annoying impulsiveness, like when she’d come home during a “creative” burst of mania to find he’d purchased a dozen expensive instruments he didn’t play because he suddenly planned to compose the world’s greatest symphony. The anger and exasperation and depression he’d display, no matter how much it frightened her.
His illness had steamrolled straight through the center of their lives and her heart, destroying all the promise of their love.
Love. For all the love Mark had professed for her, it had never been enough to convince him to stick with therapy when he’d crave the highs of mania. And at the end of the day, it hadn’t been enough to give him the will to live. It hadn’t even been enough to keep him from taking his life right in front of her.
Her eyes watered. “Easier said than done.”
“I know.” Todd shifted in his chair.
“Sorry.” She dabbed at her eyes, wishing she didn’t still lapse into pointless musings about the past. “I’ll sign these and let you get back to your day.”
Colby thumbed through the tabbed pages and signed where indicated, then handed everything over to Todd. He double-checked them before closing the folder and then heaved a short sigh.
Leaning forward, he said, “This place is a solid fresh start, but you also need a little fun in your life. Come out with me one night before this place opens up.”
She shook her head. “I’m not a good wingman anymore, Todd. I’ll just cramp your style.”
Two red stains colored his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “No, not as a wingman. Let me take you out. Dinner. A movie. Whatever you want.”
“Oh.” She froze, blindsided. She’d never thought of Todd as anything other than a friend. Had she missed seeing his interest in her? Probably. Apparently, she missed seeing most everything when it came to men. “Like a real date, or a friend date?”
He shrugged. “Maybe a little of both?”
Her pulse hammered at the base of her throat while she stalled. A date. A date with Todd? She tried to picture it but couldn’t. She hadn’t been attracted to a man other than Mark in years. Well, except for Alec recently, which was obviously the height of stupidity. “I’m sorry, Todd. I’m not interested in dating anyone yet.”
Honestly, she might never be ready. The flutters of attraction Alec inspired terrified her more than anything else. Panic didn’t seem like a good ingredient for a relationship.
“Okay.” Disappointment marbled his benign expression. “If you change your mind, just say so.”
“I will.” Would she? She didn’t know—impossible to think during an out-of-body experience. The small office closed around them, yet Todd sat there looking comfortable and familiar. Unruffled. Calm.
Maybe a date with Todd was exactly what she needed. She’d known him for six years. He’d been consistent, levelheaded, and kind. The opposite of Mark in some important ways. And apparently the opposite of Alec, too. If she didn’t want a spinster’s life, maybe someone like Todd was the answer. Genuine—if friendly—affection couldn’t hurt her like passion.
“You’re still coming to the soft opening in about two weeks, right? Maybe I should invite some of the gang, too.”
“A little reunion.”