‘I think I liked it better when it was just the two of us,’ Rosie said.
For the next couple of hours I tried to forget about Suzanne. I drank enough to blur out the edges of my anger and turned my attention instead to the beautiful boy who had sat next to me on the sofa and offered to share his beer. His name was Tariq. We would have beautiful babies, I had already decided. Rosie would be my maid of honour; maybe Suzanne could come to the hen party.
It was nearing midnight when I went to find out if there was any alcohol left, leaving Tariq on the sofa – ‘I’ll be back don’t run off I’ll be back OK?’ – with my bag. Rosie, who I would usually entrust with my possessions, was otherwise engaged with Liam on an armchair on the other side of the room. I was on my way past the kitchen when I saw Suzanne, her back against the fridge, kissing . . . who? I stopped mid-step, confused, looking at the boy. Not Dylan. Not anyone I knew.
I was about to turn away in disgust, I was maybe a second away from doing this, when I saw her hands. They were squashed in front of her, ineffectually but unmistakably pushing against the stranger. I was processing this when she moved her head away from him, stumbling slightly, and he pushed her – hard – back against the fridge.
‘Hey!’ I heard myself shout, the loudness of my voice startling even me. I was already moving forward, shoving him away. ‘What are you doing? Get off her!’
Without anyone to hold her up, Suzanne staggered, and I reached out my hands to steady her. ‘Are you OK?’ I tried to make eye contact, but hers were unfocused. I couldn’t tell if the redness was due to alcohol or if she’d been crying. ‘Hey.’ I shook her shoulder slightly. ‘It’s me, it’s Caddy.’
‘Hey, we were just—’ the boy started saying, his voice slurred.
‘Fuck off before I knock you out,’ I snarled, because he didn’t know me and I could have been a black belt, for all he knew.
It worked. He bolted out of the kitchen, looking far more terrified than a threat from me should ever warrant.
‘Caddy?’ Suzanne’s voice was hoarse and quiet, choked with tears. So she had been crying.
‘Suze,’ I said in response, relieved. I squeezed her shoulder. ‘You OK?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m a mess, Caddy.’
‘Yes, you are,’ I agreed.
‘Are you mad at me?’
‘No.’
Her face crumpled. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, I said I’m not mad at you,’ I said slowly.
‘I messed up so much,’ she said, like she hadn’t even heard me. ‘Everyone hates me.’
‘No one hates you, Suze.’
Tariq appeared in the doorway then, a friendly, searching smile on his face, my bag in his hand. ‘Hey,’ he said to me, ‘did you get lost?’ He took in Suzanne, and his smile faded. ‘Oh.’
‘Who are you?’ Suzanne squinted at him.
‘It’s Tariq,’ Tariq said patiently. ‘I’m in your English class, remember?’ He turned to me. ‘Is she OK?’
‘I don’t think so,’ I said. ‘She’s out of it. I think we should go.’
‘Go?’ He looked disappointed, which was gratifying.
‘I live really close,’ I said. ‘But I need to find Rosie.’ The easiest thing would be for the three of us to go to my house. We could walk the fifteen minutes or so, which would surely help. ‘Could you just . . . stay here for a sec while I get Roz?’
Tariq looked alarmed. ‘Um . . .’
‘I’ll be right back,’ I said quickly, bolting out of the kitchen before he could protest. I found Rosie in the living room where I’d last seen her, still curled on the armchair with Liam. I hesitated, wondering if she’d ever forgive me if I interrupted this unexpected success for the sake of the complete mess that was Suzanne.
I decided not, and went back to the kitchen without disturbing her. I’d text her instead. Neither Tariq nor Suzanne had moved; she was slumped against the kitchen counter, barely holding herself upright.
‘Sorry,’ I said to Tariq.
‘That’s OK,’ Tariq replied. ‘Um, can I add you on Facebook?’
‘Sure,’ I said casually, trying not to look too thrilled. ‘Ready to go, Suze?’ I tried to remember if she’d brought anything with her except the phone I could see wedged into her pocket.
Suzanne looked at me, and for a moment I thought she was going to say something important. Then she stepped away from me and vomited into the sink.