Beast: Learning to Breathe (Devil's Blaze MC #5)

“Michael,” Hayden whispers, putting her hand on mine.

I chance a look at her, before returning my eyes back to the road. I feel her fingers thread through mine, giving me that calm that always happens when we hold hands.

“What we did was perfect. I’m fine,” she assures me. She brings our joined hands to her stomach, relaxing her hold on my fingers. “Maggie is fine,” she adds. As if to prove it, I feel Maggie shift under our hands and a foot or hand shoves out against us. Hayden laughs. “See? More than fine.”

“She’s getting strong.”

“She is. She’s good. You need to stop worrying.”

“You’re quiet, Beauty.”

“I didn’t want to leave. I like the world better when it’s just you, me, and Maggie,” she confesses, and my heart trips in my chest, mostly because I completely agree with her.

“We can go back,” I assure her, wishing now I had insisted we stay longer.

“No. There’s a lot to do, and I really am looking forward to running the diner. I want to make Charlie proud.”

“You will not work yourself to death, Hayden. I forbid it. You delegate that shit out, and you keep your feet up.”

“My feet up?”

“Pregnant women’s feet swell. It’s a medical fact.”

“You have to watch the road and can’t see me, but just to let you know, I am totally giving you the ‘you’re crazy’ look right now.”

“Whatever,” I laugh, turning into our drive. I’ve done a lot of work on Hayden’s home, but there’s something we need to talk about. “Hayden, I’ve been thinking. I know you want a good place for Maggie, and I could fix your place up…but…”

“You think we should move into Charlie’s?” she asks, her eyes looking out over the place she’s called home.

“I do. It’s a nice home. It’s big with plenty of room for Maggie to grow. There’s a nice yard and it’s still private. I think it’s what Charlie would have wanted.”

“You’re right. I’ve been thinking about it too. Plus, it’s not tainted by my brother. It’d be like a fresh start.”

“Exactly,” I agree, squeezing her hand. I get out of the truck and walk around to let Hayden out. She’s finally learned that I like to be the one to unbuckle her seatbelt and let her down, so she waits for me now. I like taking care of her, looking after her, and this is one more thing that helps with that.

“You’d go with me?” she asks, as I unbuckle her seatbelt. My head jerks up at her question. “I mean, I know you have the barn, and I know you just moved in the house while all the stuff with the Dwellers was going on. Plus, I mean Blade is still out there, but even if he wasn’t, we haven’t discussed things. It’s just…I think it would be nice…Okay not nice, but—”

I kiss her quickly on the lips to keep her from talking until we’re both old and gray. I think she could manage it when she gets nervous.

“Do you want me to live with you?”

“Well…yeah,” she says, her eyes round and a touch of panic or fear in them.

“Just until Blade is caught?”

“No…I don’t care about that. I mean, I want him caught, but...I just really like you, Michael. A lot.”

“I like you too,” I tell her, my chest growing tight at the admission. Fuck. I more than like her. I crave her. Until Hayden, I had forgotten how to breathe, and with her it feels like I’m learning to breathe all over again. Fresh, clean air, untainted by the darkness inside of me.

“So, will you live with me?” she asks shyly, her face blushing so bright it wouldn’t surprise me if she glowed in the dark.

“Thought you’d never ask,” I tell her, cupping her face in my hand. Our lips touch, and I catch the bottom one between my teeth, pulling on it teasingly and then sucking it back in my mouth before our tongues dance gently with one another. When we break apart her eyes open and her lips spread into a full smile. Her gray-silver eyes sparkle, maybe even brighter than the sun.

We walk hand in hand to the house. Once I have her settled, I go back outside and collect our suitcases. I’m walking back to the kitchen door when my phone vibrates. I ignore it until I’m inside.

“What would you like for dinner, Michael? If you feel like firing up the grill we could barbeque. I have some chicken breasts in the freezer,” Hayden asks, glancing at me over her shoulder.

“Doesn’t matter,” I answer with a shrug, putting the suitcases down on the floor. My phone vibrates again, and I frown, pulling it out of my pocket. I look down at the screen to see I have a text message from Skull.

“Chicken it is then. Let me go in the pantry and get the charcoal for you,” Hayden says in the background, but my eyes are glued on the screen of my phone.

I know yesterday was hard for you, brother. Just remember we’re here if you need us.

Skull.

His message confuses the fuck out of me. Yesterday was one of the best days I’ve had in my life. He’s lost it. Beth has finally drove him mad. I start to shut my phone off when I notice it. The date. The motherfucking date.

I was sticking my dick in Hayden on my daughter’s birthday. I was laughing and happy. I was feeling another child move and making plans. On Annabelle’s birthday. I scream, clasping my hand so tight I can feel my phone give way. I throw it across the room, watching as it crashes against the window. I can see a crack form in the glass pane, as the phone falls to the floor in two pieces.

“Michael? Oh my God, Michael, are you okay?” Hayden comes running back in, her eyes wide with fright.

I look at her and she disgusts me. This is her fault. She made me want to…Fuck! Who am I trying to kid? This is me. This is all my fault. Hayden’s only another mistake in a long line of mistakes. I spin around, stomping outside without a word. I hear Hayden follow me. “Michael!” she cries.

I ignore her, jumping in my truck, and back out of the driveway, all without looking back. I need a damn drink.





100





Blade





I watch as Beast leaves the bar. It’d be so easy to end him right now. There’s no one here watching his back. So easy. Even now, I have him in my gunsights, and his guard is down enough, he has no idea. He’s not drunk yet, but if the bottles he’s carrying are any indication, he will be soon enough. It’d be so easy…too easy.