Beast: Learning to Breathe (Devil's Blaze MC #5)

Michael surprises me by wrapping his hand in my hair and pulling my face closer to his. “You’re one hell of a woman, Hayden Graham,” he whispers, giving my lips a light kiss.

I want to stay like this. I never want this moment to end, but for whatever reason, I sense that Michael needs more laughter. It’s my job to give it to him. Michael is as damaged as I am. Maybe more. He’s only spoken about Annabelle once, but it was clear he loved her. The pain he must be carrying around inside…I couldn’t imagine. Since we’ve been here at the lake he’s laughed freely; he’s laughed often. I want more of that. Plus…well…I’m just curious.

“Hold that thought,” I tell him, and I rise slowly to my feet, wrapping one arm protectively over my stomach as I do. I’m wearing a black, one-piece swimsuit. It’s a bigger size than I normally wear, and you can definitely see the baby-bump. I was self-conscious at first, but Michael soon showed me that he thought I was beautiful.

“Where are you going?” Michael growls.

“I’ll be right back! Don’t move!” I order him.

“You get that cute ass back here, or I’ll paddle it,” he grumbles, and I smile.

My man does have a fascination with my ass. He’s getting more and more vocal about all the things he wants to do to it, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m brave enough to let him try. Michael would never hurt me on purpose, but I can’t imagine having his dick back…there. It would have to hurt…I mean Michael is so big. I make it to the boat we took out earlier, and reach down along the side of my seat. I hid something there earlier. My fingers reach it, and I quickly wrap it in my hand, then head towards Michael.

“Back!” I announce unnecessarily.

“What’s that look on your face for, Hayden?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got something up your sleeve,” he answers, appraising me.

“Michael, you’re being silly. I don’t even have sleeves,” I tell him, and like I hoped he laughs—loudly.

“You are always surprising me,” he says, and there’s an emotion on his face I can’t read, but I like it. I like it a lot.

“That’s good, right?” I ponder aloud.

“Yeah, Beauty. That’s real, good.”

“Then you probably owe me.”

“Owe you?” he asks, and I’m pretty sure I see a guarded expression on his face. I want it gone, so I push forward—quickly.

“Strip, Michael.”

“Strip?”

“Yep. Those trunks, lose ‘em.”

“Didn’t I wear you out enough, earlier?”

“Are you going to whine? Or show me some flesh?”

“Are you going to return the favor?”

“Eventually,” I tell him with a smile, relieved when he’s back to laughing Michael. Happy Michael. I can’t help but watch as he slides the trunks from his body. His body is tan, completely. No tan lines for Michael. He reminds me of chiseled stone, all perfection like a sculpture in a museum. “You’re hard,” I whisper, and I’m not embarrassed at all to admit I’m licking my lips.

“I seem to stay that way around you.”

“Thank you?” I question, not knowing what else to say. That earns me another laugh. I drop to my knees in front of him, sliding my surprise under my leg. I reach out and use my thumb to stroke across the wetness on the broad, dark, head of his cock. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You talking to me or my dick?” he asks, and I gaze up at him and he’s got this half-smile on his face. He’s relaxed and he almost looks happy.

“Well both, but I will admit right now your dick is what is holding my attention.”

“Since you’re holding my dick and looking like you want to swallow him whole, I’m okay with that,” he says softly—smile still in place. “Take your clothes off, Beauty,” he commands, his voice dropping down to that husky timbre that always makes every feminine part inside of me clench with need.

“Umm…it’s daylight,” I tell him, without needing to. I mean the sun is shining down on us. He knows it’s daylight. I stroke his cock once, holding it firmly in my hand. I tell myself I’m only doing it because I want him as hard and as excited as he can get, but truthfully, I can’t not touch it.

“Does it look like that bothers me?” he asks me, incredulously.

“Well no, but we’ve already determined that you’re beautiful. Me? I’ve never been that, and it just makes me uncomfortable for you to see me…for you to see my body in broad daylight. You know?”

“Hayden, you’re the first woman I’ve let look at me in over six years,” he responds. His answer is stated matter-of-factly. It’s as if he is discussing the weather and not rocking my entire world.

“Michael,” I start, but then I stop. I have no idea how to respond to that.

“You’ve seen my scars. Hell, you didn’t stop nagging until you trimmed my hair and beard, just so you could see more of them. You know how horrible they look.”

“But they don’t. Michael, you must know you’re beautiful. The scars are bad, but they don’t detract from the way you look.”

“There was a girl once. She was young, too young for me really, but she was sweet and up until the explosion, she…I could tell she wanted me,” he says. He’s not looking at me now. He’s looking up at the sky. His admission sets off a funny feeling inside of me and if I had to name it, I’d have to say it is jealousy.

“What happened?”

“After the accident, I began to see less and less of her, but then…I wasn’t exactly trying to see anyone. My brothers, they all tried to convince me I needed to quit hiding. That nothing had really changed. They were wrong, but I desperately wanted to feel normal again, inside. To be what I once was. So, I tried. I even started seeking the girl out,” he tells the story, all without taking his eyes off the sky. He doesn’t look at me, and I stay quiet, because I don’t want him to stop. I want to hear the story, even as I hate hearing that there’s another girl out there he likes. “There was a family picnic one day, and I overheard her and her friends discussing me.”

“What did they say?” I ask, unable to stop myself and knowing that it couldn’t have been good.

“She called me repulsive. A woman would have to be drunk to want me between her legs. That’s when I decided to live up to the animal I had become,” he says with a shrug, like what he told me didn’t rip my heart to shreds. I wish I had this unknown woman in my reach right now. Pregnant or not, I’d wipe the floor with her. Of all the stupid, fucking bullshit she could utter…

“She’s a cow.”

“Hayden—”

“A freaking cow who doesn’t have a brain in her freaking head. I can’t believe that bullshit. If I’m with you and she’s ever around Michael, you have to tell me. You have to tell me so I can throat-punch her. You are not repulsive. Jesus, sometimes when I look at you, I get so hot, I feel like I could spontaneously combust. I mean, I thought I’d never want another man for the rest of my life. I was content with that, but I don’t know a woman alive who would not jump at the thought of having you in her bed. She’s a blue-twat-waffle! And besides…” I stop when Michael’s laugher rings out.

“A blue-twat-waffle?” he jokes, as his laughter subsides, but the smile remains.