Tin Tom blinks. “In the Europa galaxy.”
My stomach rolls and I suddenly have a hard time breathing. “There’s not one on the ship?”
“Negative,” he answers. “A flortine reducer is four times the size of this spacecraft. Carrying one on board would be ludicrous.”
“You’re ludicrous!” Rolanda screams, leaping forward. Once again I throw myself between them. As annoying as he is, we still need him. He’s our only hope, which isn’t saying much for our chances.
I hear a thump on metal and I turn to see Mandy shaking her hand with a look of pain on her face. “Fuck, that hurt,” she yells as she shakes it out. “Stupid fucking robot.”
“Fine,” I say, turning back to Tin Tom. “Land us until we can figure it out.” I have to get off of this fucking nightmare of a ship.
“The Europa galaxy is four million light years in distance,” he explains. “And our anti-matter compressor is broken. Tom has said that twice already. You earthling women aren’t very smart.”
“There!” Rolanda says, pointing out of the windshield to the brown planet in the distance. “Land us there.”
Tin Tom blinks defiantly. “I am not authorized to land this ship.”
“I’m authorizing you,” Rolanda says, pointing at her chest.
“You are not the captain of the ship,” Tin Tom responds. “You cannot give authorization.”
Rolanda clenches her jaw in frustration. She grabs the unconscious alien off of the floor and throws him against the control panel. “Watch this you tin piece of crap.”
My stomach heaves and my skin tightens as I watch the scene before me. Rolanda places her foot on the bug’s chest and grabs his head with both hands. Her forearms are flexed and strained as she grunts, pulling with all of her might. The crackling and popping sounds make my stomach turns and I almost throw up when she rips the bug’s head off of its body.
I almost throw up. Mandy is not as fortunate. She pukes all over the floor.
“There,” Rolanda says, tossing the head against the wall behind her with a thud as the headless body slides to the floor. “Now I’m the fucking Captain. And I authorize you to land this Goddamn, motherfucking, cocksucking, titty fucking, piece of shit, spacecraft!”
Tin Tom just stares at her blankly. “It’s spaceship,” he corrects.
This time, he’s on his own. I’m not holding that she-beast Rolanda back anymore. But to my surprise, she just slumps down onto the chair and laughs. She laughs and laughs, each one coming out stronger than the last. Shit. She’s lost her mind.
“Tom will instruct you how to dock the spaceship onto that planet,” he says and we all perk up, including Mandy who’s bent over after she puked a second time. “A recovery beacon will be planted for Emperor Rsordan.”
“No recovery beacon,” Rolanda snaps. I place my hand on her arm and give her a look. We can figure that part out later. Right now, we just have to get to the ground.
My throat is burning and my eyes watering from the sour stench of the dead bodies in the small cockpit. I got to get off of this fucking ship.
Rolanda and I each take a seat at the controls as Tin Tom rolls up between us, blinking away. Mandy stays against the wall and watches. There’s a dead alien in the third seat and she doesn’t look like she’s about to move it.
The robot gives us detailed instructions and soon we’re turning towards the colorful planet. Driving the spaceship is not so hard once you get used to it. I guess if a praying mantis can fly it, a human can too.
A few minutes later, we’re cruising through the atmosphere and I can actually see vegetation and water down below. At least we’re not landing on some barren planet where we’ll starve to death. I want to tell all of the girls in the back that we’re almost on solid land but I’m needed here.
“Hit that blue lever,” Tin Tom instructs and Rolanda pulls it until it clicks. The entire ship shakes like crazy as a deafening metal crunching sound burns my ears.
“What the heck is that?” I yell over the tearing noise as I almost vibrate off my seat.
The sound stops and just like that it’s eerily quiet, the spaceship smoothly gliding through the sky once again. “That was the release of the cargo hold,” Tin Tom says.
My stomach drops. “The cargo hold with all of the other women in it?”
“Yes,” he says flatly.
My chest tightens as I shift in my seat, feeling my forehead break out into a nervous sweat. “Why would you do that?” I scream. “What’s going to happen to them? Are they going to die?”
Tin Tom blinks. “The likelihood of them surviving a landing without the lead ship is roughly three percent.”
“Why would you release them?” I yell. Mandy just cries behind me. Rolanda is staring out the windshield with her game face on.
“Releasing the cargo hold increases our chances of survival by 0.0006 percent,” Tin Tom answers.
I drop my head. “That’s so fucked up,” I whisper.
“This whole thing is fucked up,” Rolanda says. “Everyone who we’ve ever known is dead. What’s an extra twenty people?”