Barbarian Box Set: Barbarians of Zandipor Books One, Two and Three

“Uh oh,” I say as I get the strongest sensation to pee that I’ve ever had. If the ship makes one bump I’m peeing in my shorts. The only shorts that I brought.

Apparently, I’m not the only one. Every woman in the room is crossing their legs and making orgasmic faces as they try to hold in two days worth of pee. I guess the pineapple/bleach gas wasn’t just for the fancy smell.

“You earthling women may be feeling the urge to urinate,” Tin Tom says as he rolls around the room, blinking his lights frantically. “That is from the lack of the organic desideratum compound gas no longer inhibiting your flow of-”

“Where the fuck is the bathroom?” Rolanda screams, pushing the robot over as she claws at the smooth walls.

My eyes are literally watering from holding it in so bad. I can’t pee in my only shorts. Can I? It would feel so good.

Mandy is struggling to pull the air nozzle back open but she’s not as strong as Rolanda and it’s not moving.

“Earthling women,” Tin Tom says as he gets back up to his wheels. “Use the absorbing pad by the door.”

“Door?” I whisper to myself as all the women race to the gray square that looks like a carpet on the opposite side of the round room. I elbow my way in and squat next to the crowd of other women who are also relieving themselves in a chorus of moans.

The magical pad absorbs everything and it looks dry to the touch but I’m not about to test it out by touching it.

I pull my shorts up and hurry back over to the women who are huddled up against the far wall where we normally sit. Everyone is grouped closer than normal with spooked, nervous looks in their eyes now that we don’t have that gas to calm our minds.

It’s been a traumatic experience so far but this is the first time I see tears on glistening cheeks. Now we can see what everyone is really made of.

Some girls have their eyes closed, some have trembling hands, and some looked pissed. Mainly, Rolanda. That chick is a fighter. I’m in the former group so I inch toward her to try and absorb some of her courage.

“We have to take over this ship,” Rolanda whispers to me as she glares at Tin Tom.

I lean in close to her ear. “He said there was a door behind that mat.”

Rolanda stares at the wall and grins. “We have to find out how to open it.”

A girl with black mascara streaming down her wet cheeks is holding her knees and rocking back and forth. “Where are you taking us?” she screams, on the verge of a meltdown if she’s not already there.

Tin Tom rolls over. “I concur from the liquid discharging from your tear ducts that you are melancholic or you are suffering from an eye infection.”

“She’s upset you idiot,” another woman with red hair snaps at the tin piece of crap. “We all are. You kidnapped us and now all of our families are dead.”

“Everyone is dead,” Tin Tom corrects. “Your friends too. All of your acquaintances and pets as well.”

“That’s not making us feel better,” the redhead says.

“Work colleagues, neighbors.”

“Alright!” I yell. “We get it!”

Tin Tom starts blinking. “I have something that will make you feel superb.”

“I doubt it,” Mandy mutters beside me.

The hologram screen appears out of thin air again and Tin Tom rolls under it. “Perhaps if you see where we’re headed to you will feel better. You breeding-aged females are the lucky few who have been selected to be bred by the glorious and heroic Emperor Rsordan. He is the most dapper man in all forty-nine galaxies and his beauty is only matched by his generosity and benevolence.”

The hologram screen flickers on and every woman in the ship gasps as a huge praying mantis like creature sits with an army of naked slave women chained to his golden throne.

The women in the video look horrified as they struggle to get free from the thick chains. One young girl is biting the metal with her teeth, another is just sitting there completely catatonic, and another is begging the other frantic women to kill her.

The green creature with the six long limbs and beady eyes grabs a naked woman by her dirty, matted hair and yanks her close. She screams as his long purple tongue drags up her cheek.

“Behold,” Tin Tom says proudly. “The famous Emperor Rsordan. You are to be his love slaves before you are beheaded and impregnated with his larvae. It is the highest honor an earthling can receive. Do you feel better now?”

The video cuts off just as it looks like Emperor Rsordan is about to bite off the poor girl’s head.

“Fuck that shit,” Rolanda says, springing to her feet. She plows past Tin Tom, knocking him over on the way to the smooth wall over the absorbing mat. She starts clawing at it and before I can process what’s going on I’m running through the hologram screen to help her.

“Where is it?” Rolanda hisses as she frantically feels the wall.

It’s so smooth but there’s got to be a door somewhere. And he knows how to open it.

I spin on my heels and grab Tin Tom. “Open the door,” I order him. He just blinks.

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