Loupin is standing before Turic when he wakes up. Strong rope holds him to the enger tree. “Mpff.” Turic tries hard to break the rope for his Avery but they are too strong.
“That ugly pink Sandroka bears the Kaleem,” Loupin says. He is the head of the village. The most respected of the Drandroka. Turic would snap his neck if he could move his hands.
“She is mine,” Turic snarls. “She is my Avery.”
“She bears a false Kaleem.” His foul breath washes over Turic’s face like the stench of a lemru. “She will prove her falseness in front of all the fools who believe.”
Turic’s soum is hammering in his hulking chest. He wants to leap forward and show Loupin his true might. But the ropes from the enger tree cannot break.
“Where is my Avery?” Turic growls. His stout muscles are as tight as a drum.
Loupin grins and Turic clenches his strong teeth at the sight of his arrogance.
“The ugly Saku is parting now to be tested,” Loupin says, his eyes dancing with mischief. “The pale weak one will face a beast of imaginable terror. And then, every Drandroka will see. Including the mighty Turic.”
Turic roars so loud that the Gods must awaken. No Drandroka will be safe if anything happens to my Avery.
Turic will slay any Drandroka who touched her.
Every.
Single.
One.
twelve
“Look, I’m sorry that I slapped you,” I say in a panic as the grumpy blue guy walks with me draped over his shoulder. “I’m sure you’re very nice but I’m not the Saku. This is a tramp stamp, not the Kaleem.”
Grumpy Smurf doesn’t seem to care. He just keeps walking forward with the whole village following us. I really wish Turic was here. Everything is better with Turic around.
Meteors are raining down from the sky, the sporadic thump, thump, thump, is starting to blend in with the surroundings and I don’t even really notice the sound anymore. A meteor crashes into the ground not too far away and everyone jumps.
Grumpy Smurf walks for about an hour and after a while the steady rhythm of his gait mixed with the blood flowing to my head makes me fall asleep.
I wake up startled as he stops abruptly. “We’re here,” he whispers, smacking my ass.
I can only see behind him and I don’t like what I see. Every stinking Drandroka has their spears, knives, and bow and arrows out and ready to go. Their eyes are wide and flighty. Their blue muscles tight.
Every single one of them is totally on edge.
My blue horse puts me down and I swallow hard as I turn around slowly. We’re at the end of a canyon, at the tip of a horseshoe. The rock walls tower high around us and there’s no escape. The ground is white and looks like it’s covered in snow.
But it’s not snow.
It’s bones. Big bones the size of buses.
The wind is making a strange wooshing sound. In and out. In an out. It sends my pulse racing and a vicious tremor erupts through my body.
I don’t like this place.
I wish that I could hide behind Turic but he’s not here. I turn to find a new hero but the army of angry Smurfs all have their spears pointed at me, urging me forward.
“It’s not the Kaleem,” I hiss at them in a whisper. “It’s a tattoo.” Ah, what’s the use?
I turn back with a whimper and something catches my eye. Three white ovals that look impossibly smooth against the sharp edges of the flaky rock walls. At first, I think they’re more bones but there’s a huge nest-like thing around them. Huge logs and whole trees complete with the long roots trailing out behind them like torn-out guts make up the nest instead of little branches and twigs.
“Oh, my God!” I whisper, my trembling hand flying to my mouth. That’s no bone. That’s a dinosaur egg.
Okay. That’s enough of this. I turn and march right into a wall of pointy spears. “Excuse me,” I say tapping the rock spearhead that’s a hair away from my belly. “I don’t care what you think I am. But I’m getting the fuck out of here. I didn’t travel five million light years to be a freaking T-Rex’s brunch.”
All eyes widen as dozens of heads roll back, looking up. I gulp.
“She’s behind me isn’t she?”
They don’t answer. They all just simultaneously take a step back.
“I’m going to pretend that she’s not behind me.”
A booming roar rips through the canyon making me jump out of my skin.
“Oh, God,” I whisper as I turn around, the roar still echoing down the canyon.
Yup, just as I feared. A fucking T-Rex. She’s standing at the top of the canyon looking down at her special delivery. Free food delivered right to her doorstep.
She leaps down and slams into the ground with a force that nearly knocks me to my feet.
All but a few of the Drandroka flee. The ones that remain, retreat to the farthest possible spot in the canyon where they can still watch the grisly scene about to happen.
Thanks for leaving a spear, you dicks.