“Tin Tom,” I say in a no-fucking-around voice. “What did he say?”
Tin Tom turns his screen from me to Turic and then back to me. “He says that he has to bring you back to the village.”
“What village?”
“He didn’t say that part.”
I roll my eyes and grit my teeth. “Well, can you fucking ask him?”
They exchange some weird sounds and the garbage can on wheels turns back to me. “He says that he has to get you to Loupin.”
“What’s Loupen?” I ask.
“Loupin,” Turic corrects.
These two are getting on my last nerve. “What is it?”
“Not what, who. He’s the village Shaman,” Tin Tom answers. “Do you want to ask him anything else?”
Yes. Can we go to a cave and have sex all day?
“Ask him why I have to go to the Shaman,” I say. “I’m not sick.”
They talk for a minute or two and I bite my fingernails nervously as I wait for them to finish.
Tin Tom turns to me. “He says that the Shaman will know what to do with the Saku.”
“Saku?” I ask with a shrug of my shoulders. “What’s a Saku?”
“You are the Saku,” he answers.
Turic is nodding as he listens. “Saku,” he whispers.
“What is a Saku?”
“The one that the prophecy speaks of,” Tin Tom explains. “The killer of dinosaurs. The eradicator of beasts. The destroyer of monsters.”
I just burst out laughing. I laugh until my cheeks burn and my stomach aches. I laugh until I’m on my knees with my eyes watering. I laugh until Turic comes and checks on me and then I laugh some more.
“Come on, Tin Tom,” I say, wiping my eyes as I get back to my feet. “What is it, really?”
Tin Tom isn’t laughing. Neither is Turic.
My stomach starts to harden and the smile drops from my face. “Tell me the truth,” I say in a tight voice.
“You have the marking,” Tin Tom says. “You are the one to end the reign of the dinosaurs on Zandipor.”
“No, no, no, no,” I say shaking my head like my hair is on fire. “This is a tramp stamp,” I say, yanking up the back of my leafy shirt. “It’s a cheap tattoo. It cost thirty bucks.”
“Kaleem,” Turic says bowing his head as he points at it.
“No, no, no,” I say in a panic. “Not Kaleem. Tramp stamp. Definitely not Kaleem.” They both just stare at me blankly as I try to explain.
“Tin Tom,” I say. “Tell him it’s not the Kaleem. Tell him it’s just an ugly tattoo.”
“The Drandroka of Zandipor have no such word as tattoo,” he answers.
Of course, they don’t. Ugh!
“Please, Tin Tom,” I beg. “Tell him it’s not a marking. Explain that it’s just a picture I put on my skin.”
“That’s right,” Tin Tom says. “The Kaleem is a picture.”
I’m so frustrated that I run over and kick his stupid metal body. Turic’s knife is back out and he’s rushing forward.
“It’s fine,” I say, with a hand on his chest. “Tin Tom. Ask him what is expected of me as the Saku.”
Excited butterflies invade my stomach as I wait for the answer that I really don’t want to hear.
“He says that you are expected to slay every single beast and dinosaur on the planet.”
My shoulders shake with laughter. It’s the most ridiculous thing that I’ve ever heard. Me of all people. The eradicator of dinosaurs. Please. The only time that I didn’t get chosen last in gym class was on April Fool’s Day and now these two expect me to go all Bruce Lee on a T-Rex?
“Tell him that’s not going to happen,” I say between chuckles.
Turic looks upset when he hears the totally unsurprising news. He shakes his head and points at me. “Saku. Saku.” He rushes over and grazes his hand over my lower back tattoo. “Kaleem. Kaleem.”
“I’m not,” I say to him, trying to make him understand. “I’m not your savior. I’m just a person who was in the wrong theater seat at the wrong time.”
I’m still sad that I didn’t get to see the movie by the way.
Turic just shakes his head, refusing to listen.
I sigh. There’s no convincing him. Maybe this Loupin guy will understand when he takes one look at me and sees that I’m about as deadly as a sleeping chipmunk.
“Fine,” I say, throwing my hands up in surrender. “Let’s just go then.”
“Great!” Tin Tom says, rolling after me.
I turn and glare at him. “Us. Not you.”
But as annoying as he is, it would be smart to bring him. He can translate between me and Turic and hopefully convince this Loupin character that I’m not the one they were hoping for.
“Fine,” I say in a sharp tone. “You can come. But no talking!”
***
We don’t make it to the village before nightfall. Turic finds us another cave and we make Tin Tom sleep outside in the cold. Don’t feel bad, he’s a freaking robot!
Turic has been tense all afternoon, much different than the warm protective sweetheart that he was this morning.