Fuck Starbucks, fuck Yoga classes, fuck TV. I’ll take multiple toe-curling orgasms over a seven dollar mocha chai latte any day.
I notice a change in the blue guy. He sits right beside me rather than across the fire which he was doing yesterday. He’s also more attentive, giving me food before I have to mime for it, and he watches me as I eat it, making sure that I’m enjoying it.
His handsome blue smiles also come more frequently and are wider than before, showing off his powerful teeth. I like this new Turic. Not surprisingly, I feel more attached to him as well. Again, three mind-shattering orgasms will do that to a gal.
The only time he takes his attention away from me is when he turns to thread some brown leafs together. They look like fat palms and he’s making something with them but I can’t tell what it is.
“Whatcha got there, lover boy?” I ask in a sexy voice.
He pulls it out with a wide smile. Oh God.
Before I can run away he slides it over my head. He made me a shirt out of leaves. The cuteness of the thoughtful gesture almost makes up for the shirt’s ugliness.
Almost.
But he looks happy. He’s smiling like a rich kid on Christmas morning.
Turic stands up and stomps out the fire with his boot. “Hewrrisid pouyler scuner,” he says while staring at me.
“What, this?” I ask, standing up and doing a model pose in my new leafy shirt. “Oh, thank you. It’s new.” I do a little catwalk strut as he watches me in confusion. “I got it at the leaf store. It was on sale.”
He points to the exit of the cave and grunts.
“Time to go?” I sigh. I was just starting to like this cave. It had such nice memories. Three in particular.
“Alright,” I say gathering my things, which is nothing. “Let’s bounce.”
It’s another sunny day and Turic actually walks beside me the entire time rather than in front. I don’t get the spectacular view of his tight ass but this is nice too. Especially when he slips his hand over mine and walks with me hand and hand.
I still don’t know where we’re going but after last night I’m ready to follow this guy to the ends of the earth, er…ends of Zandipor.
We pass a few small dinosaurs by mid morning but they run away on two legs when they see Turic. I inch a little closer to him as we walk away.
A few minutes later we hear a commotion close by and Turic pulls out his knife so fast that all I see is a blur. He grabs me and pulls my body behind him as he moves forward. I duck my head and keep my hand on his hard lower back as he heads towards the noise, stalking it like a panther.
“Would you like pancakes?” a familiar crackling voice says from up ahead. No.
An angry screeching follows and then, “We’re all out of pancakes. Would you like some France toast?”
I tug Turic’s loincloth trying to get him to go the other way but his curiosity drives him forward. The feeling inside of me is bittersweet. It’s nice to hear the English language but it’s coming from the thing that I least want to see: Tin Tom.
The robot is at the bottom of a tree blinking his lights and trying to communicate with a red monkey-type creature who’s perched on a high branch, screeching at him.
Turic walks right up to him and pokes him with the knife. Tin Tom turns and blinks wildly when he sees me. “Good daytime to you earthling woman,” he says.
I hate this tin piece of crap but I still get emotional when I see him. “I never thought in a gazillion years I’d be happy to see you, Tin Tom.”
Tin Tom turns to Turic who keeps poking him with his knife. I put my hand on his blue wrist and gently pull it down. He looks at me with a confused grunt but then slides the knife back into his boot.
“Is this is your new mate?” Tin Tom asks.
“Yeah,” I answer. I guess he is.
“Really?” Tin Tom says, blinking. “This guy?”
I jerk my head back. “Yeah. Why?”
Tin Tom’s blinking stops. “He’s no Emperor Rsordan, but whatever.”
“Rsordan?” I ask. “The disgusting praying mantis creature who cuts the heads off of his mates?”
“Yes,” Tin Tom answers. “You turned down Rsordan for this guy? I’ll never understand you earthling women.”
“Okay,” I say, throwing my hands in the air. “It was a pleasure as usual Tin Tom but I’m out of here.”
I begin to walk away and Turic follows on my heels leaving the annoying robot behind.
“Kaluue Saku,” Turic says, pointing in the other direction.
“Sapeer waulk onit,” Tin Tom spits out.
Turic whips his massive head around to the robot and stares at him with wide eyes. “Kreat?”
Tin Tom blinks wildly. “Sukamemrta zingabo,” he answers.
“Wait,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “Tin Tom. You can understand him?”
Tin Tom beeps. “Of course. Tom is programmed to understand over sixty thousand languages and dialects.”
“What did he say?” I ask, staring at the big guy with my mouth dropped open. I can’t believe that I might actually be able to communicate with him.
Tin Tom rolls over to me. “He says that you’re very rude for leaving poor Tom all by himself.”