They’d completed their assignment almost a week early and were goofing off in the student union building. Scott was telling her about his dad’s latest fascination with a homeless baby squirrel he’d rescued.
“So, now Dad’s trying to find diapers that will fit the squirrel, which is a lot harder than you might think. It’s kind of become his obsession.”
Lily had burst out laughing, and then she’d looked at him, he’d looked at her, and they’d paused, that millisecond right before a kiss. She’d forgotten about the millisecond until now. She lost her breath when Scott finally leaned in and kissed her. It was different from Wes. Better. Sweet and tender… but more passionate. Lily had pulled away, her face flushed. She’d grabbed her stuff, unable to believe what had happened.
“I’m not just a college student. I have a daughter. She’s eight. And I was… I was kidnapped when I was sixteen. This man held me captive. He kept me prisoner… and I…”
She told him because he needed to know, but also because she’d wanted to scare him away. That should be easy enough. What kind of man wants damaged goods?
“I know who you are, Lily.”
She’d stared at him like he had three heads.
“You know?”
“Yes, I do.”
Lily couldn’t believe he knew who she was. “You never asked any questions. You never said anything about my past.”
“I wanted to get to know you. Not the person on the TV or the victim they made you into. I have my own stuff to deal with. Things I don’t exactly love talking about. It didn’t really matter who you were or what happened back then. I just liked making you laugh. I figured if I brought up everything you’d been through, you wouldn’t be rolling on the floor.”
Lily had been speechless. Scott had taken her hands in his.
“I’m sorry I kissed you without asking. I shouldn’t have done that. But I like you, and I wanted… Forget it. Can we move on? We can still be friends. Can’t we?”
There was no malice in his eyes, none of the evil or darkness that she’d seen in Rick. Lily had kissed him that second time. Before she knew it, they were inseparable. Lily was in her first real adult relationship. This was new and uncharted territory for her. If they were hanging out together and Scott got quiet, Lily would worry. Did she do something wrong? Was he mad at her? Would he lose his temper and lash out? Scott was constantly reassuring her that he was fine. “Just because I don’t fill every moment with conversation doesn’t mean I’m upset. And even if I am, even if I don’t agree with you, I’ll never hurt you,” he’d told her.
She wanted to believe him. It was easier in theory than in practice. Lily had been worried that she wouldn’t be able to have a normal intimate relationship, but Scott was patient and kind. It didn’t mean that she didn’t have trauma when it came to sex. She hated bright lights and she was uncomfortable with her body. Sometimes she’d get moody and couldn’t stand to be touched. Dr. Amari reminded her that it was okay, that she just needed space. But like with everything else, Scott displayed infinite patience.
Lily knew what real love was now. Not teenage infatuation. Not Rick’s twisted notion. Love was this. Lying in bed with Scott’s strong arms wrapped around her. Studying side by side on a blanket in the quad, weekends at the park playing soccer with Sky. Backyard barbecues and late-night stargazing. But everyone knew it was serious when Lily introduced him to Abby. Her sister had given him two thumbs-up.
“He’s gorgeous, Lil. And he’s head over heels.”
When Lily thought about their future, she had no idea what was in store. The idea of marriage and more children made her anxious. Scott laughed when she’d told him she wasn’t sure if she was ready for a serious commitment.
“I think we’ve got time, Lil. Let’s enjoy what we have now. We’ll take it as it comes.”
Taking it as it comes wasn’t an easy attitude for someone who’d spent years planning how to survive from one day to the next, but Lily was determined to try.
The locker room door opened and Lily heard Coach Polk shouting.
“Come on, ladies, move your butts. I want all of you out on the track in sixty seconds.”
Lily’s teammates were focused and quiet as they dressed. Lily was ready. All she had to do now was slip on her jersey—number eight, in honor of Sky. She inspected her reflection in the full-length mirror. Her hair was a little longer now, tied up in a ponytail. The red had faded to a light auburn. Her skin was tan and glowing and she’d put on a good twenty pounds of muscle. She loved each and every ounce. She wasn’t a “fatty.” She was strong. Healthy. An athlete. Lily reached down and pulled up her lucky blue socks and made her way to the exit.
The track was packed with runners from competing schools and their coaches. Today was the first meet of the season, and there was an excited buzz in the air, the support of friends and family fueling the runners.