At the Edge of the Universe

“Promise.”

Calvin stared at me like he was a human lie detector. I guess he decided I was trustworthy, because he said, “We should go work on our roller coaster now.” He headed back toward his house.

I hopped off the railing and jogged to catch up. “Hey,” I said. “Since we’re friends now, why don’t you eat lunch with me and Lua and the others? They’re weird, but you should come anyway.”

“Thanks, Ozzie. I think I’d like that.”





248,011 AU


TO MY SURPRISE, CALVIN ARRIVED to physics early, wearing a new black hoodie and clean jeans. We barely talked, but I felt pretty certain I’d made the right decision about us just being friends. Between me looking for Tommy and trying to figure out why the universe was shrinking, and Calvin cutting himself and sleeping with a teacher, I kind of figured we had enough problems between us that it made sense not to complicate our lives further. Besides, I was still trying to wrap my head around Calvin’s revelation that he’d had sex with a teacher. I mean, based on his behavior since the beginning of the school year, it had obviously screwed him up, and I both wanted to know more and wished I could forget he’d ever told me.

When the bell rang, I told Dustin to go on ahead, and Calvin and I walked to the cafeteria together. I hadn’t warned the others I’d invited Calvin to sit with us at lunch, because I wanted to see the looks on their faces when he showed up.

“Where do you normally eat?” I asked as we stood in line with our trays to sample Cloud Lake High’s finest culinary delights.

Calvin chose two slices of flat, greasy pizza. “You know the retention pond across from the agriculture building?”

I nodded. Since I’d had pizza for dinner the night before and still felt bloated, I ended up grabbing a sad, wilted salad.

“That’s where I eat.”

“Oh.” No wonder Calvin was excited to eat lunch with us. The thought of him sitting by himself beside a fake pond was about the saddest thing in the world.

“You ready for this?” I asked after we paid for our food.

“Is there any reason I shouldn’t be?”

Yeah, I could have clued him in that Lua was probably going to be possessively hostile, and that Dustin would probably attempt to prove he was smarter, but I didn’t want to scare him. It was best to send him in blind. Either he’d survive or he’d never speak to me again. Honestly, it could have gone either way.

“Nah,” I said. “You can breathe underwater, remember?”

Lua spotted us first. She was wearing a revealing white blouse with suspenders, and her hair was pinned with crystal butterfly barrettes. I was actually glad that she was hanging out on the feminine end of her spectrum. Not that I cared, but I didn’t have to worry about Calvin accidentally using the wrong pronoun.

I think it took Lua a moment to register that Calvin and I were walking toward the table together. Like, maybe for a moment, she thought we were just walking in proximity to each other. But as soon as she realized what was up, a suspicious grin split her face. I probably should have been more nervous than I was, but I was committed to doing this, and it was too late to run away.

“Hey,” I said. I set my tray down next to Lua. “Calvin’s gonna sit with us, all right?”

Priya Soni—a gossip with a massive unrequited crush on Dustin—was standing at the table, and her eyes bulged out of her head when she saw us. I hoped she didn’t stick around.

Dustin cast me a quick, knowing smile, and offered Calvin a bro nod. “I saw you wrestle last year. You were a beast. What happened to you? I thought you were going to make me work for valedictorian.”

Before Calvin could answer, Priya opened her mouth and released a raging deluge. “I heard you had a brother that shot someone? Is that true? Did you really quit the wrestling team? Because Mindi Bowers said that she heard from Wryan Jenkins that you tested positive for steroids and you were actually kicked off. Those are so gross. Maria said she heard Bobby Yu took steroids and his balls got really small. Did that happen to you?”

“His balls are definitely not small,” I said, and then immediately wished I hadn’t.

Lua’s jaw dropped and she stared at me. I could actually see the chewed-up pizza in her mouth.

“Can we not talk about balls while I’m eating?” Dustin said.

Calvin cleared his throat, pulling the attention away from me and onto him. “Half the school knows how big my balls are. Those wrestling uniforms leave nothing to the imagination. But you want to know what’s really awkward? Trent getting a boner while I’m trying to pin him.”

“Trent’s gay?” Priya said, and before the question had left her mouth, she’d already gotten her phone out and was tapping away.

Lua rolled her eyes. “Don’t you have somewhere else to sit, Priya?”

Priya looked up from her phone, glared at Lua, and stomped away.

“Trent’s not gay,” I said. “He’s obviously into Lua.”

Lua had regained most of her composure, but I could tell I was in for the Inquisition later. “Why are boys so uptight about their sexuality?”

Calvin nibbled his pizza. “Because guys are idiots.”

“Everyone knows that,” Lua said.

“It’s like this,” Calvin said. “For the majority of guys, sexuality is black or white. There’s no spectrum, no in-between. You’re either straight or gay. Even bi guys are considered ‘bi now, gay later.’ If you check out another guy, you’re gay. It doesn’t matter if you have a girlfriend and ten other girls on the side, all it takes is one rumor and you’re branded for life.”

Lua pointed at Calvin with her pizza crust. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve spent years listening to stupid shit come out of Ozzie’s face hole.”

“Thanks?” I said, but Lua kept rambling like I hadn’t said anything.

“Guys can be bi. They can experiment. I mean, what if a boy just wants to see what it’s like to kiss another boy?”

“Gay.”

“Are you serious?” Lua glanced at Dustin. “Is he serious?”

Dustin nodded. “I can confirm.”

“It’s stupid,” Calvin said. “But that’s how a lot of guys are.”

“Insecure guys,” I added, but Lua and Calvin didn’t seem to hear me. Lua had been cool with Calvin joining us at a/s/l on New Year’s Eve—we hadn’t discussed it and I think she assumed I’d invited him as a pity date—but bringing him to lunch was serious business, which meant she had to test him to make certain he deserved to be there.

“So you’re saying,” Lua said, “that if Dustin wanted to know what making out with a guy was like, even if he’s one hundred percent straight—”

“Gay,” Calvin finished.

Lua huffed. “You’re right: Boys are idiots.”

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