But I was tired of having everyone else point it out to me.
"If I want your advice I'll ask for it!"
"Ry." Ella's tone was alarmed. "What has gotten into you?"
"If you can't accept the way I am handling this then go find someone else to complain to!" I didn't know where the words were coming from. I didn't know why I was so being so cruel. I didn't know why I continued to draw out the problem when the answer was right in front of me.
"Ry, that's not what I-"
"Really, because that's all you have done since we got here!"
"It's been a month." Ella put her hands on her hips defensively. "You aren't choosing, Ry. Admit it, you are stalling."
Hysteria began to bubble to the surface – unwanted and full of disdain. "You know what? Enjoy your dinner – because I have suddenly lost my appetite!"
"Ryiah, you need to calm down!" Ella reached out to grab my arm and I pulled away, livid.
"No, what I need is for my friend to leave me alone!" Without waiting for a response I immediately turned back toward the barracks and stomped away, shoving past both of the boys in question as I did.
I have to get out of this place, I decided, even if Byron sticks me with scut work. I will volunteer on the first deployment out of here.
I might not be able to run away from my problems, but I could certainly try.
****
It turned out that I would get my wish. The next morning at breakfast Master Byron announced that he had a surprise for us. A wonderful, rare, important one.
"Port Langli is not like the other cities we train in. Here most of a mage's time is spent on patrols. The threat is not so much war as the prospect of pirates and local thieves. Langli is the wealthiest port in Jerar, our main trading post, our most prosperous harbor. I know you have all grown restless because it's not the fast action you desire. But that is the way of it.
"Lucky for you Commander Chen has recently received orders from the Crown itself. Our local regiment is to deploy five of its own tomorrow on a special assignment that will take them out of the city. The commander has graciously offered up one spot on his ship for a Combat apprentice.
"There is a great probability this will be the only opportunity to serve in a Langli deployment. Missions like this are far and few between. Most of the regiment mages never even get an opportunity at sea. As such, I will be taking a break from your traditional schedule to host a tourney of sorts…"
I drew a sharp intake of breath and heard the excited whispers around the room. A tourney. A mission. Deployment. All but the second-years who had missed our time in Red Desert were restless, eager to do something besides the nightly rotations as sentries. Our time assisting the local regiment had been too quiet, too peaceful. The opposite of what a Combat apprentice trained for.
"I thought long and hard about what type of competition we should have. I considered weather casting which is such a relevant skill to have at sea…" The man paused as his eyes fell on me. "But then I thought better of it."
I scowled. Of course. The last thing Byron would want was a tourney centered around a skill I actually was good at.
"I asked myself what might be a vital skill to host. What type of casting do I want to reward…?" The master was taking his time, basking in the light of our anticipation. "Then it occurred to me. Non-magic combat. Time after time I have had you train without magic. Because not only does the experience aid in your casting, it also serves you when your magic runs dry. Because no one's power is infinite and at some point you will have to fight without it."
Master Byron watched our reaction to his news. There was a scattered murmur of confusion, dissent, and then curiosity.
Though we spent each morning drilling with weapons and hand-to-hand combat, none of us had bothered to pay our status much heed. I knew my standing in casting: I was better than Priscilla, better than Ray, maybe even better than Ella. But non-magic fighting? I had never bothered to rank myself.
And I was certain I wasn't the only one.
"What type of non-magic combat?" That was one of the second-years.
Byron frowned at the boy. "You will find out when you arrive. You have ten minutes to finish your meal and then I expect all of you in the training yards. Don't worry about which weapon to bring. I will have the servants bring it for you."
****