“Sure I do,” she said.
From that moment, Sierra was concentrating more on Neely than on the speaker. Will spoke first and she’d heard him before; she loved listening to him, as a matter of fact. Sober twenty years and so steady, but so aware of his roots in addiction and what it had cost. Then Sophie, sober six years and one of the lucky ones—sobriety had saved her and her family before any irreparable damage. Then Jennifer, sixty years old and sober two years, still struggling mightily, hanging on by the skin of her teeth. Every day and sometimes every hour was a miserable battle for her, but she used all the tools available, many meetings, more than one sponsor, a treatment facility, counseling, family support...
But Sierra was thinking about Neely, filled with admiration and a little awe. Neely was so beautiful and confident. She was taller than Sierra; about five-eight and fit. Her hair was thick, rich brown, shoulder length and swayed when she nodded her head. She was smart—just her presentation at that open meeting was so impressive—emotional and funny and wise, like the poster girl for recovery. She was older than Sierra and had found her sobriety at a younger age—Sierra admired and envied her. She had a kind of reverence for her. Neely was the kind of person she’d fantasized having as a sponsor, not Moody. And before she even really knew Neely, she was immediately thinking of that possibility.
And speak of the devil, Moody was there. This was not his usual meeting—he tended to like the early-morning meeting. He sat in his usual place—third row, far left seat, like he was ready to make a break for it. Sierra didn’t want to talk to Moody tonight because she didn’t want him to horn in on their pie and coffee, which Sierra was already hoping would actually turn into a meal. She wasn’t hungry, but she didn’t want her date with Neely to go by too fast.
Still, she did the right thing and checked in with Moody, saying hello. And then, because duplicity was a definite enemy to sobriety, she told Moody she was going out for coffee with Neely. And he had said, “Good for you.”
“I’m so glad to get out of there,” Neely said as they were leaving. “How would you like to meet at that Denny’s by the highway? Is that too far away for you?”
“No, perfect,” Sierra said, though it was in the opposite direction of the Crossing.
Glad to get out of there? Neely was like a cheerleader for AA, super involved, traveling on a speaking circuit, visiting open meetings, sitting on boards... Even Moody, who was moody, never said he was glad a meeting was over.
They went in their own cars and she couldn’t help but notice Neely had a really nice late-model Lexus. When they were seated in a booth in the restaurant, Neely ordered coffee for both of them.
Sierra couldn’t even remember when she last had a girlfriend. At least she had Connie these days, the best friend she’d ever had. But there was something about a girlfriend that hit all the right buttons. Connie was great and she was completely grateful for him, but there were girl things he would never get. Like cramps, to name just one.
She’d managed to hook up with all the wrong people since she was about fourteen. And once she’d gotten into AA and met people like herself, she’d gotten close to a few but it always felt a little forced. She wanted to feel some chemistry, a strong connection, someone she could really hang on to for ballast. It had felt close a couple of times, but not exciting enough.
“What did you mean you couldn’t wait to get out of there?” Sierra asked.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Neely said, stirring sugar into her coffee. “I know how important it is for me but there are times I’ve just heard enough and would rather be doing something else.” Then she flashed her gorgeous movie-star smile. “Like this!”
“Like this,” Sierra echoed.
“How long have you lived here, Sierra?”
“Oh, not very long. I got here in March so it’s been...five months. I’m from Iowa. My folks live on a farm in Iowa, but my older brother is here and I wanted to be near family, but not on a farm in Iowa.”
“I’ve lived in Vail for the past few years, but I’m originally from Connecticut,” Neely said. “I just love it here. Plus, I wanted to get away from the whole family. They’re all pretty bad for me. I’m thinking of moving, but not out of Colorado. There was a relationship I had to end. A destructive relationship.”
“Do we all have destructive relationships?” Sierra heard herself ask.
“At least one! I attract them like magnets. Don’t you?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t been involved with anyone in a long time,” Sierra said, and then she wondered why she didn’t mention Connie. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do for work?”
“Nothing at the moment, but I’m looking to start a small business. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but that’s why I’m scouting around a little bit. Looking for just the right place.”
“What kind of business?” Sierra instantly asked.
Neely grinned beautifully. “Did it go right over your head that I’m not talking about it yet?”
“Sorry,” she said. “I guess it did.”
“Let’s just say a specialty shop and I’ll tell you more when things start to fall into place. See, my crazy family did one nice thing for me—they left me a little nest egg. If I’m smart, and I am smart, I can turn it into a larger nest egg and take care of myself without ever relying on anyone again.”
“That would be so nice,” Sierra said.
“So, who do you rely on?” Neely asked.
“Well, no one, really,” she said. And then she wondered why she had said that. She relied on lots of people, she just wasn’t financially supported by them at the moment, but only because she didn’t need much to live on. “But I have a lot of nice people nearby if I ever run into trouble. My brother and sister-in-law, my sister-in-law’s dad, people I’ve met around town and...well, I’ve been seeing a very nice guy. He’s a paramedic and firefighter.”
“Oh, sounds hot! I got involved with a guy right after rehab, just a few months sober, and all we did was drive each other crazy until I left him. Then I did it again and again and again. I’m recovering and running from another one right now. I’m still tempted by the wrong people,” Neely said. “I’m starting to think that the only men who are safe for me are the ones I’m not attracted to.”