“Well, you know what I mean.”
“I know,” he says quietly. “Thank you.” He looks like he’s about to say something, and then he stops himself, smiling. “Would you rather always lose or never play?”
I gape at him. He’s still playing!
“In what context?”
He shrugs, and then he walks over to me. I feel my whole body start to burn hotter the closer he walks.
“Would you rather always lose or never play… in life, in love. Would you take the chance?”
My breathing hitches in my throat as he stands right in front of me. He looks just as unsure as I feel, and I realize we’re both fighting some internal battle here. For me, it’s the dilemma of him being my employer. It used to be that he was a widower, but I’ve come to find that that doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. The only problem is, I feel like that is his only dilemma.
“I will always take the chance,” I whisper. “Even if I always lose… I will always take the chance.”
He runs his hand smoothly through his hair as he watches me curiously. My heart stops as his eyes flick to my lips. I want him to kiss them so badly.
Why is this so intense?
“Cupcakes are cooled,” he says, and as he says it, I can tell which battle won.
Isabel.
And rightly so. She might always win, and I have to be prepared to be okay with that.
Eighteen.
Nick
I watch as Evianna frosts the cupcakes, using her hands in a way that intrigues me. Clearly, she’s frosted a lot of cupcakes. I can tell by the familiar way she spreads the chocolate evenly across the warm cakes with a knife.
I know I shouldn’t be standing here, watching her, but I can’t help myself.
I never thought I’d feel this way about someone ever again. Especially so soon after Isabel. It’s been a little over a year. I don’t technically know how much time needs to pass before you start to feel okay about feeling again. I guess it varies from person to person. There aren’t exactly rules for these kinds of things.
“All done,” she says, brushing her hands together and pointing to the perfectly frosted cupcakes. Of course they look professional.
“Thanks for your help,” I say, watching her as she looks down at her feet.
“No problem,” she says quietly.
Suddenly, I feel bad. I feel like I’m taking advantage of someone who just went through an awful breakup. I’m being selfish, and I’m not thinking of Bria. Nothing can happen with Evianna. Bria loves her too much—I won’t jeopardize that. Ever.
I want to tell her. I don’t want to lead her on. But I can’t help the way she makes me feel. And that’s exactly the problem—she makes me feel something. That familiar beating of my heart, the rush of awareness to certain parts on my body… I haven’t felt that for a very, very long time.
I’m torn.
I’m torn between being her employer… and being a man.
“Good night, Nick,” she says, leaving through the sliding glass door before I can say anything else.
“Good night, Evianna,” I whisper to the empty kitchen.
Nineteen.
Evianna
I spend the majority of my Saturday reading and drinking tea. It’s started to rain, so I don’t feel like I’m being anti-social or a homebody. It’s the perfect environment for reading in bed. I’ve already gone through the twelve books I’d brought with me originally, and I’ve already gone to the bookstore twice to restock. New books are always something I will splurge on.
It’s nice being by myself on my days off. Besides, after last night, I’m not sure I can face Nick. Last night was… intense. The amount of unspoken feelings flying around that room… I didn’t fall asleep for hours. I tossed and turned most of the night, over-analyzing. I hadn’t even told Violet what happened. I couldn’t bring myself to rehash everything just yet. The dust needed to further settle before she told me her opinion, though I knew what she’d say, because I knew it myself.
Nick Wilder had feelings for me.