He concentrates on my face, taking in my words. I can tell what I said affected him, and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. We reach his car, and I stand beside him as he buckles Bria in. She’s still distracted by her cotton candy. When he’s done, he closes her door and faces me.
“Thank you, Evianna. No one’s ever said that to me before. You’re right. I was very lucky.” He smiles and reaches out for my hand. The minute he touches me, I let go and jump back. I don’t know why, but it feels strange, intimate… his eyes lock onto mine, and I’m torn between wanting to get in the car and wanting to… kiss him?
Something tells me he feels the same way.
Thirteen.
Evianna
Violet comes over after Bria goes to sleep. We’d gotten back from the Wheel mid-afternoon, and Nick gave me the rest of the day off. I spent it reading and relaxing, consuming multiple cups of tea, and trying not to think about Nick.
I was unsuccessful.
I knew I was over-analyzing everything, so when Violet showed up with two bottles of wine and some Chinese food, I almost cried because I was so thankful.
“Oh my god, you’re the best,” I breathe as she scoots past me and into my new living arrangement. I quickly glance up at the house, and all the lights are off. Nick is probably asleep, and though I know female visitors are okay, I’m still nervous.
“Wow, this is nice, Ev!” she says as I close the front door.
“Thanks.”
I help her unload the chow mein and General Tsao’s chicken into bowls. It’s what we always order. I can’t find any wine glasses, so I make a mental note to pick some up, and I pour us each a generous serving of wine into two water glasses. Once we’re settled on the couch, she turns to face me, eating rapturously. She looks so put together. I’ve always been envious of her ability to look so polished. She’s wearing skinny jeans, a fitted leather jacket, and black ankle boots. Her auburn hair is thrown up into a messy bun that probably took her all of twenty seconds to do, and her brown eyes scan my face impatiently.
“So? Are you going to tell me everything or what?”
I don’t even touch my food. I go for the wine, clutching it close and taking large sips before spilling the beans.
“Don’t judge me. That’s all I ask,” I say, prefacing everything with those words.
“You think he’s hot. What’s wrong with thinking your boss is hot?”
I sigh and gulp down half of my wine. My head is spinning when I begin to talk.
“Well, I told you that he’s a widower, right?”
“Yeah,” she says, looking annoyed. “I already knew that.”
“So? That makes me an awful person!” I wail. “You should’ve seen him today, Vi. Bria mentioned how her mother and brother were in heaven, and he lost it. His grief was radiating off of him, and then I started blabbing about Would You Rather. Luckily that seemed to cheer him up, but my god, I don’t know if I can do this.”
“What? Look after a little girl who lost her mother way too soon?”
“That’s not what I mean. It’s just... I don’t know if I’m emotionally stable enough to deal with my own issues on top of Nick’s grief, and on top of Bria’s grief... it just feels like too much.”
“Bria likes you, yeah?” she mumbles, chewing on noodles.
I think about that for a second.
“Yeah. She’s always liked me. That’s not the issue. I just feel... I feel like I’m somehow walking into something I shouldn’t be walking into. Some guy at the ticket counter asked us if we wanted the “family” pass, and Nick looked so sad. I can’t be the woman who does that to him—to Bria. I know there’s nothing going on between us, but I’m old enough, and he’s young enough, and people make assumptions... I just don’t think I can handle another episode like today. I can’t keep figuring out ways to tread lightly and to say the right things. Cheering up a mourning man was not in my job description.”
“So quit,” she says simply.
I blink at her.