“You’re only saying that because your favorite food is chocolate ice cream,” he says accusingly.
“I would like having ice cream for every meal,” she says, smiling. “Daddy’s turn.”
I look at Nick. He sits up, and crosses his arms, clearly amused. Whatever he was feeling before is gone. He’s the Nick from the kitchen this morning. I tilt my head and assess him.
“Hmm…” I say. I give him a small smile, and his eyes crinkle as he watches me with interest. “Would you rather always have to say everything you are thinking or never speak again?”
I chose that one on purpose.
He looks at me and smiles, rubbing his mouth with his hand as he thinks.
“Always say what I’m thinking,” he says, and Bria laughs.
“Even when ith not nice?”
“Even when it’s not nice,” he repeats. “It’s better than never talking again. I have to be practical.”
I nod my head approvingly. If only this game were real. I’d like to know what Nick Wilder is thinking right about now.
“Another one,” Bria squeals. “Daddy, athk Evi now.”
Nick sits up straighter, and his eyes bore into mine. He’s clearly entertained.
“Okay,” he says slowly. “Would you rather find true love or be rich?”
“True love,” I answer immediately. “Life’s not worth living without true love.”
“Have you ever experienced true love, Evianna?” he asks seriously.
“I thought so. Once. But they say true love doesn’t end. So… I guess I haven’t.”
He watches me silently as the gondola rocks gently back and forth. I want to look away, but I can’t. He just locks his eyes on mine and doesn’t do anything, doesn’t say anything… it’s like he’s trying to read me.
“One day you’ll find someone who will make you realize why it didn’t work out with anyone else,” he says, barely audible.
Bria doesn’t hear him—she’s too busy looking out into the clouds—and I suck in a silent breath. For some reason, he makes it hard to breathe around him.
I know he’s right, but the quiet way he said it sent shivers down my entire body. Like it was our secret. He runs his hand through his hair and then stares down at his feet, smiling.
At least I made him smile. It’s much better than miserable Nick.
The gondola swings silently. We’re all in our own worlds, but I’m confident in the fact that all of us are a bit happier now than we were a few minutes ago. When we get to the bottom, it has stopped raining, so we swing our umbrellas and walk over to the food stand. Nick orders us each a hot dog and a large cotton candy, as promised.
“Thank you,” I say, chewing my hot dog as we walk back to the car.
“Thank you,” he says quietly, jingling his keys in his hand. Bria is holding his other hand. “You turned what could’ve been a very depressing gondola ride into a fun one.”
“Oh. Well, I’m glad I could help.”
“Sometimes…” he starts and looks down at Bria. She’s too distracted by the seagulls to pay attention to us. “Sometimes it grips me out of nowhere, and I feel so lost. It’s horrible. And it comes in waves. Most days, I’m fine. Sometimes though… it feels like I’m drowning.”
“I know.” I look at him as we walk. “I want to say that I understand, but I honestly have no idea what it feels like to lose everything all at once. So I’m not going to say that I understand. I’m just going to say that I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s not fair. Yet… it’s kind of beautiful that you had something that makes saying good-bye so hard.”