“That was a serious question,” she scolded.
I felt my eyes soften. “And I gave you a serious answer. I love you even more. Remembering that you tried to kill yourself doesn’t make me think of you as anything but the strongest girl I’ve ever known. You’re a survivor. You prove it over and over again. I’m so goddamn lucky to have you, and I’m never, not ever, going to give you up.”
Her voice was watery, and she sniffled. “Really?”
I made an X over my heart. “Cross my heart.”
Am flung herself into my arms and cried all over the stupid gown they made me put on. I didn’t mind, though. Anytime she was in my arms was perfect.
“I love you,” she said, pulling back. Her eyes found the mess she made of my “clothes,” and she winced.
I chuckled. “Don’t worry about it,” I said, tugging on the ends of her still-damp hair. “Hey, you sure you want to go see her?”
Am nodded sagely. “I have to see her. I have to be sure she’s not just faking to avoid being thrown in jail.”
“She’s going to jail no matter what,” I intoned. I didn’t care if I had to drag the old hag there myself.
“I feel kind of sorry for her,” Amnesia confessed, low.
Shock rippled through me. My body jerked backward, and I glanced down at her as if I hadn’t heard correctly. “What?”
She shrugged. “I know I shouldn’t. But the way she was acting… almost like she was brainwashed. And she was scared of him, too. He beat her because she hadn’t been able to bring me back.”
I tried to find a shred of sympathy in my body. There wasn’t any. Maybe it all leaked out in the hole she put in my head. “She hurt you,” I growled, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her close. “I’ll never forgive her for that.”
Amnesia laid her head on my chest, and I hugged her close for long minutes.
“I should go,” she said, pulling back.
“I’m coming with you.”
“No,” Amnesia said, firm. “This is something I need to do alone. For me. For Sadie.”
I didn’t like it, but I understood. “How about I stand in the hall?” I compromised.
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
We held hands as Dr. Beck led us to Mrs. West’s room. Just like Doug said, there was a uniformed officer right outside her door. I had no doubt everything that happened tonight was spreading through town like wildfire.
“Five minutes,” Dr. Beck said. “No more.”
“Thank you,” Amnesia replied, staring at the door with an apprehensive expression.
“I’ll be right here if you need me.” I assured her, leaning in to kiss her gently.
“I know.”
Resting my head against hers, I spoke low so only she could hear. “Whatever you find out in there, it won’t matter. You’re forever mine.”
I held her hand until she was far enough away, and we pulled apart naturally. The officer opened the door, admitting her inside.
I took a deep breath and waited, not caring if the woman ever woke up, but hoping just the same, Am got the answers she needed.
Her eyes were open. Unblinking and sort of glassy. She looked like a doll from a horror film, the kind with the round glass eyes that followed you when you weren’t looking.
I shivered. Ever since I first saw her at Loch Gen, something about her creeped me out. Of course, now I knew why.
This woman with her long grey hair, pointy nose, and seemingly sad, lonely life took everything from me. I estimated her to be in her sixties, which one would think would make her old enough to know better.
She lay in the hospital bed, the head slightly propped up. Her gray hair was tangled around her shoulders, so long it covered her chest. Her skin was pale, making all the bruises and injuries on her face stand out. Her knuckles were scraped and raw, and she looked thin beneath the hospital gown.
Her body was unmoving, her eyes unfocused, and her mouth in a rigid line. It was almost as if someone hit pause on her controls and she was frozen exactly how she’d been.
Creeping closer to the bed, I watched the monitors record her vitals, listened to the beeping of the machines. She didn’t seem to know I was here, and if she did, she was an expert at pretending.
“I know you’re faking,” I said, stepping close to the side of the bed. “Pretend all you want, but eventually, you’ll have to come out of it. Eventually, you’ll have to tell them what you’ve done.”
I waited for a reaction, but none came. She still sat prone, her spine-chilling eyes staring into space.
I reached up, snapping my fingers over her face. Nothing. I poked her arm then pulled her hair. She didn’t react at all.
“You took everything from me,” I whispered. “You and that man who I can barely remember.” Leaning closer, I whispered in her ear. “But in the end, you didn’t win. I did. I have a second chance, a clean mind, undisturbed by the awful things you did to me. And you’re going to be locked away forever.”
Maybe it was wrong to taunt her, but it felt good to do so. It gave me some sense of justice.
Leaning back, I stared down at her. “You took me away from Eddie once before. But not again. Not ever again. I love him, and he loves me.”
The only response I got was more beeping from the monitors.
Even though she didn’t acknowledge what I said, I knew deep down she heard me. I knew my words taunted her, and that small victory made me feel better.
Now all that was left was exhaustion. My head hurt, my body hurt, and I wanted to be in Eddie’s arms.
Without a single glance back, I walked away from the bed, leaving her there in solitude.
The second my hand hit the handle on the door, her voice, gravelly and low, echoed through the room. “He doesn’t love you.”
I spun around, not even sure if what I heard was real.
She was still lying in the exact same position, her eyes still staring blankly at nothing at all.
I was imagining things. With a small shake, I turned back to leave.
“He loves Sadie. Not you.”
I whirled around when she spoke again, rushed to the bed, leaned over her, and pressed my face close to hers. No reaction at all.
An eerie feeling stole over me, and my stomach began to tremble. “He does love me,” I whisper-yelled at her. “I am Sadie. Why don’t you wake up and tell everyone that!”
Maintaining her rigid position, her eyes still wide and doll-like, her hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. Nothing else about her moved.
“You aren’t Sadie,” she said, her voice sort of like a moan. The stiff position of her mouth barely changed. “Not her.”
Shuddering, I snatched my arm out of her grasp and stumbled back, falling onto my butt. Instantly, I surged up and stared at her, chest heaving. “I am!” I yelled. “I am Sadie.”
She didn’t move or reply; she just lay there like a wax figure, as if she hadn’t spoken at all.
I whirled around and rushed from the room. She was faking! I knew it! And I’d felt sorry for her. How dare she try and play me—play us all this way?
“She’s awake!” I shrieked, rushing into the hall. “She’s faking!”