“So everything we know is basically speculation,” an officer said unhappily.
“Not everything,” Eddie said. “That witch attacked us, tried to kidnap her tonight. That alone proves a lot of the other stuff.”
“It’s definitely a lead.” The officer agreed pragmatically.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Eddie said. “Have you even questioned the widow?”
I perked up. I’d forgotten about her. I gasped. “Where is she?”
Doug was quick to tell me, “She’s been admitted as well, but not to worry. We have an officer posted at her door.”
Dr. Beck stepped forward. “She’s in rough shape as well. It’s still very early yet, but I can already say she’s suffered a lot of abuse.”
“But you questioned her, right?” I worried. “She told you who I was? She told you I’m Sadie.”
Dr. Beck frowned. “I’m afraid not.”
“What?” I gasped, trying to scramble off the bed. Eddie clutched me, trying to keep me from leaping forward. “Let me go!” I demanded.
He didn’t; instead, his arms wrapped a little tighter. “Calm down, Am. You have a concussion. Don’t make it worse.”
“She needs to tell everyone!” I wailed. “She’s known all this time!”
Dr. Beck came forward, as did Dr. Kline. “I think that’s enough for this evening,” he said.
The officer closed his notebook, a concerned look on his features.
“No! Wait!” I exclaimed and stopped trying to struggle against Eddie. “I’m sorry. I’m fine. This is all just very frustrating.”
“Memory loss can be, especially when you’re remembering things and trying to make sense of what is real and what’s a distortion,” Dr. Kline said in her schmucky head-shrinker voice.
I wanted to poke her in the eye. How dare she be so calm and nonchalant? Hell, she was acting as if half the stuff I was saying wasn’t even real.
I knew real!
“You don’t think I’m Sadie?” I said, my voice low.
Everyone glanced at the head shrink. “I think it’s very likely you are. Frankly, I’m more concerned with you and your mental health.”
What a crock.
“Just ask her,” I pleaded with the police. “Just go in her room and ask.”
They all shifted uncomfortably.
“What aren’t you saying?” Eddie demanded.
Dr. Beck sighed. “Mrs. West is currently in a catatonic state. She is unresponsive to stimuli, her body is unmoving and rigid, and she is not currently able to speak.”
I fell back against Eddie, disappointment swelling within me. “What?” I cried. “Why?”
“I think it has a lot to do with what has happened. As I said, she shows signs of long-term abuse, and after hearing about the events of this evening, I’m prepared to say this has been brought on by a psychological illness.”
“So she’s insane.” Eddie deadpanned. “Shocker.”
“We won’t know more until she begins to respond,” Dr. Kline put in.
“But I need to know,” I said, desperation clinging to my words. “I need to know who I am. What they did to me all those years ago.”
“And you will, remember.” Dr. Kline reminded me. “But not all at once. And that’s okay.”
“I don’t want to remember.” My voice scraped out of my throat. “I don’t want to re-feel all those horrible things done to me. What I do remember is more than enough. I don’t want to be changed forever—damaged—over the past. I just want to live in the present, with a clean slate.”
Everyone stared at me; no one quite knew what to say.
“All I want is for her to admit that I’m Sadie, for her to tell everyone what they did. I want to know… but I don’t want to remember.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re Sadie, Am,” Eddie said, brushing my hair over my shoulder and kissing the side of my ear. “I love you no matter what.”
My chest squeezed. Turning, my lips brushed his cheek. “I know, and I love you, too.”
Facing everyone else, I said, “But I need to know. For me.” For Sadie, the girl whose entire life was ripped away.
“As soon as we can, we’ll question her.” Officer Doug assured me.
“How long?” I asked, glancing at Dr. Beck.
He shook his head. “There is really just no telling. Could be hours. Could be days.”
“Weeks?” I pressed, feeling dread collecting inside me.
“In some cases.” He hedged.
More tears fell. I shoved them away and sat up. “I want to see her.”
“No, that’s not a good idea,” Dr. Kline said.
“Why?” I asked. “It’s not like she can do anything more than what’s already been done.”
“She really shouldn’t have any visitors,” Dr. Beck said.
I laughed. “Are you kidding me? She tortured me, kidnapped me, stole eleven years of my life! Eddie has stitches in his head, and I know nothing about who I used to be! She owes me!”
“Five minutes.” Dr. Beck said.
“The officer will remain at the door,” Doug added. “I think that’s all for tonight.” He continued. “If you think of anything else, call me immediately. Otherwise, we’ll be in touch.”
The officers left the room, leaving behind both doctors. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Dr. Kline said. “Facing someone who’s hurt you so much isn’t easy.”
“I’m sure.” I said, slipping out of the bed.
She nodded. “I’ll stay for a while. If you want to talk after, I’ll be here.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling some of the frustration I held against her soften.
“I’ll be just outside,” Dr. Beck said. “I’ll take you to her room.”
When both doctors were gone, I turned and looked at Eddie. He was standing just behind me, his azure irises bouncing between mine.
“So now you know,” I told him, my stomach knotting.
His forehead wrinkled. “Know what?”
“That I tried to kill myself.” I glanced down at the floor, feeling oddly ashamed, even though I remembered how I felt in that moment. How ready I’d been to die. I whispered, “Does that change how you feel about me?”
Eddie was silent for long moments, longer than I expected.
Nervously, I found the courage to lift my chin, meet his eyes. “Does it?” I echoed.
He swallowed thickly, nodding once. “Yes.”
“Yes,” I told her. Her face fell, but I lifted it back up with the back of my hand. “It makes me love you even more, something I seriously had no idea was possible.”
Amnesia’s lips parted with a small intake of breath. “What?”
I smiled, a lopsided grin, making sure my dimples were on full display. “C’mon, Am. What kind of guy did you take me for? I ain’t no pansy that can’t handle my girl’s drama.”
I sputtered. “Suicide is not drama.”
I chuckled. The pink blooming on her cheeks was a welcome sight. She’d been too pale for too long. “I know,” I replied, sincere. “I just wanted to see your face.”
Her eyes grew round, shock registering on her face, but then it gave way to a beautiful smile.
“There it is,” I murmured, swiping at the corner of her mouth with my thumb.