She was pretty, the prettiest girl in our class.
A loud thud made us both stiffen. We looked at each other as if to say, “Did you hear that, too?” and we both nodded. Another thud sounded, and I shot to my feet, making the boat rock.
“Sit down, Eddie!” Sadie cried, grabbing the sides of the canoe.
“That’s coming from underneath us!” I exclaimed. “The light!” I demanded.
Sadie shined the beam into the water all around us. There was nothing there. Nothing at all.
“Again,” I said, thinking we missed something. Bringing the oar up over my shoulder like a bat, I prepared to swing at whatever it was that made that sound.
“Maybe it was just a big fish,” Sadie whispered.
“Maybe,” I whispered back.
BOOM! Another loud crack sounded. This time it was accompanied by splintering wood. The boat tipped instantly, and we both screamed.
I fell into the dark, cold water, and it pulled at my clothes, stole my hat, and robbed my breath. In shock, I tried to suck in some air but got a mouthful of water. My lungs and nose burned, and I fought to find the surface.
The water was dark, its tentacles sticky and greedy.
Sadie! I had to find Sadie.
I fought against the current, and eventually my head broke the surface. I coughed and sputtered. Blinking, I searched the area around me. It was so dark, so very dark.
I was alone.
No boat. No Sadie. Nothing.
“Sadie!” I screamed, treading water and scanning the surface for any movement. “Sadie!” I yelled.
She didn’t call out. She didn’t answer.
Filling my lungs with a deep breath, I dove beneath the inky surface. Forcing my eyes open, I could barely see a thing, but I searched and searched. Up ahead, I saw a blink of light. I swam toward it, my arms and legs burning with the effort, but I forced my way through.
The light continued to sink, to fade out until there was nothing at all. It disappeared just as my hope was beginning to. Once more, I broke the surface. Sputtering and gulping for breath, I yelled her name again.
And again.
And again.
She didn’t answer. Not even once.
I treaded water for what felt like hours. I searched for her. I cried.
She wasn’t there. She was just gone.
Eventually, I found the boat. It was still upside down. It took every last bit of energy I had to flip it over and crawl inside.
I woke up in the morning, several yards from shore. People were standing on the beach, yelling and screaming at me. Police lights filled the early morning light with harsh red and blue flashes.
My first thought was of Sadie. I sat up and started screaming her name again. Frantically, I searched the shore, hoping she’d swam there last night.
I didn’t see her.
I never saw her again.
“Eleven years ago, a girl falls into the lake and is never seen again,” I repeated, reeling from the tale Eddie just told me.
I believed him. I believed every word. The horror and regret on his face could never be faked. The way he spoke about that night pulled me in. I felt I was there in that moment, reliving it all with him.
Or maybe I just felt that way because I had been there.
“Sadie Gordon, gone,” he whispered, gazing out across the lake.
“No one knows what happened? The police found nothing?” I questioned.
He shook his head. “There was a huge search. It lasted weeks. People from other counties, even neighboring states, came, search and rescue. The state police brought in helicopters, search dogs…” His voice roughed. “They even dragged the lake, looking for a body.”
The scene he depicted was grisly, and I could imagine how something like this would rock a small lake town. “And nothing?” I pressed.
Eddie laughed, humorless. “They said we hit some kind of rock because it was dark and we couldn’t see. The rough current pushed us into it and it upturned the boat.”
“You don’t think that.” I didn’t phrase it as a question because I observed the look on his face. Partial disgust, partial confusion. I tried to picture him, a younger, more innocent version of the man who sat in front of me today. A little less controlled, a little more daring.
That night had to have changed him. Forever.
Just as it changed me.
“It makes sense. What else could it have been?” he replied. It sounded like something he’d repeated over and over to himself until it became the truth. “Nothing was out there. I swam around for hours. I lost my voice I yelled so much. The bottom of the boat had some damage from where it hit. The searchers found some rocks below the surface…” He shook his head again, rubbing the back of his neck.
“But?” I pressed.
“But the rocks were so far from where I thought we’d been. It just didn’t make sense.”
“You said it was dark, that the current was strong.”
“Yeah. Yeah. I just lost her.”
How horrible that must have been for him. Now I understood the searching looks, how his eyes tracked my every move, why he was so determined to visit me daily at the hospital. He felt responsible for me. For what happened.
“What about her parents?” I asked. “My parents. Why didn’t they come for me?” There were so many questions. So many.
Eddie made a sound, stood, and lifted a rock. I watched him turn it on its side and skip it across the lake.
“My mother,” I said, getting up and grabbing his elbow. “Is Maggie my mother?”
“No,” he replied, hoarse. Eddie spun around, his eyes searching my face, lingering on my eyes and hair. I didn’t pull away when he tugged his fingers through the short strands and cupped my cheek. “Maggie was best friends with Ann Gordon.”
“Was?” I pressed.
“After the accident…” His hand fell away from me, and he rotated toward the water. “Sadie’s father, Clarke, he… ah, he started drinking.”
Sadness washed over me. Sadness for everyone involved.
“It went on for years. He drank and drank. He pretty much became the town drunk. He hated me. I couldn’t blame him. I was the last one to see his daughter alive. I was the reason she was out on that lake.”
I touched his arm lightly. He gazed down at it but kept talking. “Ann stayed with him. She’d already lost her only child; she wasn’t about to lose her husband, too. She was faithful and loyal. She always picked him up off the floor and cleaned up any messes he made in town.”
“She was a good woman,” I said. It was odd to realize we were talking about my parents. My mother and my father. I knew I was Sadie. I had the proof now, but even with that one horrible memory, it still seemed I was hearing about someone else’s life. I still felt oddly detached.
I didn’t fight that feeling anymore, though. I embraced it. That memory scared me to the core. I didn’t want to go back there.
“One night, Clarke got drunk and went on a rampage, ranting about Sadie. He got in the car, and Ann followed. He ran into a tree about five miles out of town, head on. They both died instantly.”