“It was, yes.” This was awkward.
Tilda seemed to think so as well, because her smile wavered and she dropped her gaze to her folded hands in her lap. She’d pulled herself together a second later, though, and attempted conversation again.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been more attentive,” she began. “Being here must be very hard for you, having no prior knowledge of us or our customs. We didn’t even bother trying to school you in our ways, just tossed you out into our world blindly. I’ll forever regret that. Seeing how close you came to dying last night … I just want to formally apologize on my daughter’s behalf.”
Well, that was sweet and unexpected. Considering the way the Basileus had always treated her, she’d sort of just assumed his wife was on the same page.
“I appreciate that,” she told her, smiling herself for good measure. She was standing next to her bed, and lowered her arms to her sides. She’d been a bit afraid that this talk would be negative, maybe even about Olena and something happening to her.
What would they do if something did? If her ship didn’t make it here or she simply died somehow aboard it? If there was no longer a real Lissa, would they force Delaney to remain here and play the part forever? Her gaze shifted over toward Ruckus, who gave her a reassuring stare. He’d never let that happen to her. He’d already said as much.
“I know how it was done,” Tilda said tentatively then, inspecting her face, “but it’s uncanny how much you look like her. I haven’t seen my daughter since she left for her denzeration. Unfortunately, Olena isn’t the type of child who enjoys calling home.”
“That must be hard for you, being apart from her for so long. Having to see me instead,” Delaney offered.
“It is,” she agreed. “That’s part of the reason I’ve stayed distant and allowed Magnus to strong-arm you. To me, you look just like Olena, and it’s a constant reminder of what she’s done to you and to our people. She risked the lives of everyone to save herself.” She squeezed her eyes shut, and it was clear she was holding back tears.
Instinctually, Delaney stepped closer, dropping a comforting hand to her arm. “You aren’t responsible for the things she’s done.”
“But I am,” she disagreed, “at least partially. We are created by the things people do and say to us. I’m her mother; I should have done a better job, should have paid more attention to her and to the type of woman she was becoming. It’s no secret she isn’t well liked or respected.”
“She isn’t a coward,” Delaney surprised herself by saying. “Yes, she did a horribly selfish thing and put a lot of people in jeopardy, but you and I have both met Trystan. Add that to the fact that you can have children with only one person.… She did save herself at the expense of everyone else, but who’s to say her life is less important? It was wrong, but it was also understandable.”
“You surprise me.” Tilda tilted her head. “She’s the reason you’re here, after all. Actually, ironically enough, Trystan is the reason. He did save your life yesterday, didn’t he? I must admit, that shocked me. I almost didn’t feel the wound in my leg because of how much so. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never once seen him put someone else’s well-being before his own. Except, of course, for his people.
“That’s the major difference between my daughter and him, you see. They’re both well-known for their attitudes and disregard. My daughter might not be feared in the same ways the Zane is, but she’s feared nonetheless. Yet where she cares only for herself, Trystan has always had a heart for the Kints. He might prefer war over peace right now, but that’s merely because he feels it’s the best course of action for his people. He’ll make a great leader, unlike Olena, which is why, after much debate, Magnus and I decided to agree to the betrothal.”
She thought about whether her own mother would make that choice, if she’d sell her to the highest bidder if it meant keeping their town together. What if an outside threat came and wanted to destroy it and all the people she’d grown up with? What would she do?
It was a hard scenario to play out, and she feared the only way anyone could truly know the answer was if it actually happened to them. People rarely knew what they were capable of until they were forced into a corner. The unsettling thing was, with the discovery of Xenith, a threat like that was possible.
Hell, if any of the Kints discovered where Olena really was, everyone was pretty sure they’d start attacking Earth so …
“What happens when she’s back?” Delaney asked. “The Tar attacks probably aren’t going to stop anytime soon.”
“We don’t think so, no,” she agreed direly. “And unfortunately we’re no closer to discovering where they congregate, or who their real leader—if they even have a set one—resides. Until then, I fear there’s really nothing we can do except triple security and hope for the best.”
“We’ve confirmed there isn’t as strong of a Vakar presence in the Tars as we were led to believe,” Ruckus spoke then. “Someone went through a lot of trouble, and used a lot of patience, to convince us to distrust our own.”
“That’s unsettling,” Tilda acknowledged. “I assume the Basileus has been given this update?”
“I spoke to him about it last night, Basilissa.”
“Good. Well, that’s something then. At least we can rule out most of our people stabbing us in the back.”
Seeing how the darker turn of conversation caused her shoulders to slump slightly, Delaney drew her attention back her way.
“I didn’t ask how you were doing,” she said. “You are the one currently in the hospital.”
“Thank you. I’m doing well. I’ve actually been healed since this morning, but my nerves were a bit frazzled, and frankly this is the safest place for me until the castle is deemed one hundred percent secured. It’s my understanding that we’re running a few last-resort drills to be sure?” She directed this last part to Ruckus, who nodded.
“Yes, ma’am, we are. They should be finished with that within the hour.”
“Maybe you’ll get to try enjoying some of your day then.” Tilda patted her hand. “Only two left before you leave and get to go back home. You should try to enjoy all the things Xenith offers while you still can. I’ve been thinking about making my way down to the pools all morning. I could use their healing properties right about now.”
She felt a bit guilty about that, because the only reason Tilda hadn’t been able to use the advanced healing pool, the Alter Pool, was that she’d just been Uprisen. Of course, that really had nothing to do with Delaney. It was their tradition and laws that deemed it so, after all.
“It was nice speaking with you,” Tilda told her. “Thank you for allowing me to apologize. Hopefully last night will be the last of the unfortunate events that befall you during your stay here.”
She had to agree with her there.