“So”—he inhaled deeply, bracing himself—“will you stay with me tonight?”
Suddenly she was very nervous, and unable to trust her voice, she managed only to nod. She allowed him to push the door all the way open and lead her inside, adjusting to the darkness for a second before the motion-sensored lights activated.
While he shut the door and entered a code into a similar pad on the right wall, she scoped the place out, increasingly more curious with every second.
His room wasn’t as large as hers, or even as Trystan’s, but there was a homier feel to it. The bed was still massive, yet the comforter was a deep brown with golden highlights that depicted a warm invitation. The pillows that peeked out were a muted gold as well, and silk. The headboard towered a good four feet up the beige wall.
Her eyes lingered on the bed a second too long, and she quickly forced her gaze away, pretending not to notice the pounding of her heart. Palms suddenly sweaty, she rubbed them against her thighs as she moved around the room, feigning a calm about being here that she didn’t feel. She’d agreed before really considering what spending the night with him meant. Would they be sharing the bed? Was she ready for that?
This room was also shaped like an octagon, but instead of a balcony, the entire left wall caved outward, creating another sitting area complete with a couch under a bay window and a ceiling-high bookshelf on either side. Some shelves housed books of various sizes; others contained gadgets and trinkets she didn’t recognize. The door to the bathroom had been left open, so she could see all the similar appliances as the ones back in her own bathroom, but the closet door to her right was shut.
A comfy leather chair was tucked against the small wall between the sitting area and far wall, the crater-shaped center a dead giveaway that he sat there often. There was an end table to its left, a half-read novel on the edge as if to supply further proof. His smell was everywhere, that thick fire pit scent, and she breathed deeply. He didn’t have a skylight, but a concave dome ceiling that was painted black.
Moving over to the side of the bed, Ruckus flicked his finger over the edge of what she’d assumed was just another end table. At his touch, a screen appeared, hovering a centimeter above the faux wood surface. After touching a sequence of buttons, he tipped his head back and stared up.
Following suit, she gasped when suddenly the ceiling came alive, billions of glowing dots appearing as if by magic. They flickered and sparkled like the real thing, surrounded by swirls of purples and bold oranges. It was like looking through a telescope and seeing everything more intensely.
“Sky roofs are a bit of a risk,” he told her, coming up to her side to watch it with her. He rested a hand against the small of her back almost absently, as if instinctually needing to touch her. “I had this made instead. I tried to get Olena to follow suit, but she can be stubborn.”
“This is so much better,” she said breathlessly, finding it hard to concentrate with him near like that.
He smiled and glanced down at her. “I’m glad you like it.”
“You’ll have to install one in my room back on Earth,” she joked, frowning when he tensed.
Swallowing sharply and licking his lips, he took both of her hands and eased Delaney and himself back toward the edge of the bed. Sitting down, he moved her so that she was standing between his legs, the position putting them almost at eye level.
“I have to tell you something,” he said softly. “It’s good news, but I don’t want you to get too excited yet, all right?”
“Sure.” She nodded.
“They found Olena. They’ve got her, and they’re on their way here. It’s a three-day journey.”
A lot could happen in three days. Like, for instance, one of these murder attempts could be successful. Unbidden, she conjured memories of the attack in the ballroom. The heavy feeling of Trystan’s body practically crushing her, the smell of his coppery blood, how it’d all happened so fast …
As if seeing the train of her thoughts, his grip tightened and he shook his head, gaze hardening some. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. I’m going to keep you safe, and in three days I’ll bring you home like I promised. Just keep up this charade a little longer, and you’ll be home free.”
If anything, she was more confused now than before. Lifting a hand to his cheek, she traced the line of his jaw with her thumb, reveling in the feel of him. He’d shaved, but there was still a hint of coarse hair beneath the pad of her finger.
“Then why are you so down?” she asked, pushing those dark thoughts aside to focus on him. “Like you said, this is good news, right?”
This was what they’d been waiting for, what she’d wanted since the first day she’d woken up on his ship. Magnus had predicted they’d have his daughter in custody by now, and they did. As soon as Olena got here, they could make a switch and Ruckus and Delaney could head back to Earth. She’d be able to see Mariana again, her parents.
And then he’d leave. Because Earth wasn’t his home; Xenith was.
“I’ve been thinking about you going,” he whispered, clutching her hip to bring her closer, “and every time I do, it’s like a piece of me gets torn out. I knew this wasn’t permanent, that all you’ve ever wanted was to get back home. I just wish there was more time, that’s all. Selfish.” He smiled and dropped his gaze in embarrassment. “I know.”
The problem was, if he was being selfish, then part of her was as well. She’d come to the realization that she was going to miss them. Not just Ruckus and the way he made her feel, but Pettus and Gibus also. She wished there was a way she could have her real life back with them in it.
Mariana would find Pettus funny and Gibus adorably strange, and if they’d liked the stories Delaney had told them during cards, they’d love the ones her roommate could share. She could see it now, the five of them sitting around the dining room table, talking about this whole crazy experience. Laughing about it, because by then it would be over and Delaney wouldn’t be scared anymore.
Except, that couldn’t happen, because they literally lived in different worlds. She belonged on Earth, and they belonged here. She couldn’t stay, and they couldn’t go. Leaving Xenith was all she’d wanted since her arrival. She’d never even contemplated that she might end up not wanting to leave them with it.
Delaney lifted Ruckus’s chin and kissed him. It wasn’t gentle, or slow, but a rough claiming of his mouth that she couldn’t quite control.