And even more beautiful.
“Apologies.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I didn’t think of it that way. I didn’t take raising your hopes into consideration. Forgive me?”
She pretended to think it over, then smirked up at him. “Sure. Just promise me one thing?”
“Anything.”
“There’s less than a day left,” she reminded him, “and then I’m gone. I want to enjoy the rest of the time we have left together.”
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he turned them toward the pool and then over to the edge. When he sat, he brought her with him, settling her on his lap so that his booted feet came close to being lapped at by the water.
“I’m going to miss you, too,” he said against the crown of her head. “Fiercely.”
She burrowed closer against his chest, breathing in deeply the fire pit smell. She was never going to be able to go to a bonfire again without thinking about him. It’d be a constant reminder of what she’d left behind. Of what she’d lost.
And she was starting to think of it as that. Even taking into account everything she’d been torn from, everything waiting for her back on Earth, the thought of being so far from him caused devastation. She wanted to cry like that first night in Olena’s bedroom, screaming into her pillow so that no one would hear.
“Comfortable?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts. She felt him laughing quietly when she smiled against his chest.
“You hear me complaining?” she joked.
“Usually when I don’t hear you saying something, it’s a bad sign.” He tightened his hold around her arms to keep her in place as he leaned closer to the curve of her right ear. “I’m not sure if anyone’s ever told you this before, but you’re kind of a loudmouth.”
“I am not!” She swatted the back of his arm and shifted enough to glare up at him. “I’m vocal when it’s called for, that’s all. And you can’t tell me that if our situations were reversed, you wouldn’t be the exact same way.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, not even bothering to think about it. “I’d probably be five times worse than you, even. You’re actually handling all this pretty amazingly. I would have flipped a long time ago.”
“Broken something, I remember.” She recalled his saying something similar to that before. It felt like a lifetime had passed since. “You know, you were a lot tougher in that alley. Making all kinds of threats, speaking in that gruff voice I haven’t heard you use since. Putting on a big show for the Lissa when in actuality you’re just one big soft teddy—”
He rolled her so suddenly, her words cut off, and in the next second he had her pinned to the curly grass. Through the skylight above, the millions of stars winked, accompanied by the glow of the flowers and the lulling of the water.
“You were saying?” Ruckus lowered his head to the curve of her jaw, planting a kiss there and then nipping lightly. The move forced her to turn, curving and exposing more of her neck to him in the process. “I’m not gruff; I’m effective.”
She had to agree with him there. When she tilted back even more to better accommodate him, she caught sight of the glass walkway above. Part of her froze, and she felt the moment begin to slip away. This was reckless; they weren’t out of the woods yet, not when Olena was still at least a day away.
Last time they’d been in there Trystan had caught them.…
“We can’t.” She lightly pushed at his shoulders, not stopping until he finally took the hint and lifted himself off her, frowning. “Anyone can see.”
He followed her gaze up to the glass then settled back onto the grass, his expression defeated. Running a hand through his hair, he heaved a sigh and took a moment to regain composure.
“I should be the one saying that,” he stated. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you, not losing my head. Ever since you arrived, I’ve done a terrible job showing you I’m actually good at being Ander. There’s got to be a way the Tars are moving around my security teams. An inside man of some sort. I just haven’t been able to find him yet.”
Because initially they’d both believed it was Trystan, but after the other day …
“Trystan’s saved my life more than once now,” she pointed out, knowing by the harsh twist of his mouth that that was where Ruckus’s mind had taken him as well. “He took the bullet—the zee,” she said, correcting herself before he could. “Jumped those guys during the bombings.”
And she still didn’t quite understand why. Her feelings for Trystan were complicated, in the sense that while he still terrified her—and ultimately pissed her off with his arrogance—she also felt a little in his debt. Despite all the hatred between him and Olena, when it’d come down to it, he’d protected Delaney.
“I’ve seen him act,” she added. “It’s not his strongest suit. He was legitimately pissed off when Lura tried to poison me. And taking a zee? The guy is still in the hospital.”
“He was released, actually.” Ruckus curled his fingers around a tiny golden stone no bigger than a quarter and tossed it from palm to palm. “A couple of hours ago, if I got the information right. The wound was all but healed, and he insisted on returning to his own rooms.” He paused, held her gaze as if unsure whether or not to continue. “I’m surprised he didn’t try to see you.”
She snorted. “I’m not.”
“You don’t mean that,” he scolded, seeing right through her. “He said something to you when you saw him, something that unsettled you.”
He’d said a few things, all of which had made her infinitely uncomfortable. He had that way about him, the cold, calculating way that could turn a girl’s insides to barbed wire all while twisting her heart with his devilish smile. It was eerie and terrifying. Whenever he paid attention to her, she felt like a rabbit trying to claw its way out of a collapsed burrow, the beautiful yet deadly fox hot on her heels.
“Why are we talking about Trystan?” she asked, sliding closer across the grass so their knees bumped.
“Because you were right before. The attacks won’t stop once you leave; they’ll just start happening to Olena. She’s a pain, and a spoiled brat, but I’ve known her all my life. I don’t want to see her dead, Delaney.”
“I understand that.” And she did. That jealousy she’d felt before was gone. Maybe she was actually starting to believe his spiel about being attracted to the real her, and not her outer appearance. “I don’t want that, either. She might have done this to me, but it’s how I ended up meeting you. I keep trying to hate her like I did those first few days here, but I can’t.