We have about ten seconds before she needs to pull the chute. I’ll free-fall a little longer so I get below her and can land first. I want to be on the ground when she comes down in case she has any problems.
I motion to her to pull the cord and let go of her arm. My heart is in my throat, waiting for it to deploy. She pulls the cord and the lines shoot out around her. They’re tangled—turned in the wrong direction—and her chute isn’t opening properly. It jerks her up and I keep falling, but I can see the chute isn’t slowing her nearly enough. I turn so I’m facing skyward, but I can’t do anything but fall.
Fuck. Panic constricts my chest, and I can’t breathe. She’s going to hit the ground. She’s going to hit the ground and fucking die because I took her up here.
Deploy the reserve, Selene. I will her to remember what to do, to listen to the instructions I’m sure she’s hearing through the radio in her helmet. Deploy the reserve. Do it, Selene. Don’t keep falling. We’re getting too low, goddamnit. Deploy the fucking reserve.
Her main chute jettisons, flying away above her, and the reserve deploys. It opens perfectly, jerking her body, and her legs dangle below her.
I check my altimeter. I’m getting dangerously low. I turn over so I can pull the cord, deploying my own chute, and steer toward the landing zone.
Normally I wish the glide down would last longer, but this time I need to get on the fucking ground. I come in faster than I should, my feet pounding on the dirt as I land. The chute falls, and I unhook the straps, disentangling myself as quickly as I can.
I turn, desperate to see her land safely. She comes in perfectly, guiding her direction with the lines on each side, just like they taught her. The landing crew helps her down, ensuring she doesn’t hurt herself when her feet touch. She takes a few quick steps forward and stops, her chute deflating behind her.
I’m on fire with panic and adrenaline as I run over to her. I grab her and crush her against me, fear saturating every fiber of my mind and body. She could have died. Right here, in front of me. She could have died because of me.
I can’t live through that again.
I hold her tight and she wraps her arms around me.
“Fuck, are you okay?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says. “I’m fine, Ronan. I was scared for a second, but they told me what to do. It was okay.”
She tries to pull back, but I can’t let her go. Not yet. My body shakes and I can’t get enough air. For the first time since I started skydiving all those years ago, I’m not buzzing after a jump. My limbs are heavy and my chest feels like there’s a weight sitting on top of it. I wonder if my heart is going to explode into a bloody mess.
“Ronan,” she says, pushing against me. “Stop. I’m fine.”
I drop my arms, but looking at her doesn’t help. She takes off her goggles and smiles, but I can’t see her expression. All I see are her eyes wide with fear when the tangled lines twisted around her, the realization that something had gone wrong.
And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
Anger flares and I storm into the hangar, looking for Sam, the owner.
“What the fuck happened up there?” I say when I find him at his desk. “She’s a fucking beginner.”
Sam stands up. “Listen, Mr. Maddox, we’ve never had a main chute fail in a beginner jump before—”
“I don’t give a shit,” I say. “You just had one. Who packed her chute?”
“Mr. Maddox, her reserve chute clearly deployed exactly as it was meant to—”
“Fuck the reserve chute,” I yell, cutting him off again. “It shouldn’t have been necessary. You could have killed her.”
I hear Selene running up behind me. “Ronan,” she says. “Stop.”
“No,” I say, a hard edge to my voice. “You sent her up there with a faulty chute. A fucking beginner.”
“She was completely safe,” Sam says. “Our ground crew was in constant contact, relaying instructions, and Selene handled herself perfectly.”
“She was not safe!”
Selene puts her hand on my arm but I shrug her off. I’m so angry, I want to kill these assholes. I whip around and rip my jumpsuit off, tossing the last of the gear on the floor as I make my way to the exit. I have to get the fuck out of here before I hit someone.
I sit in my car, gripping the steering wheel, until Selene comes out a few minutes later. She gets in the car and fastens her seat belt.
“Ronan—”
“No.” I don’t want to hear her tell me she was fine. She was not fucking fine.
She closes her mouth and sits back in her seat. I start the car and drive out of the parking lot, heading toward the freeway.