I don’t want to think about the last time I saw her—her cold and angry face, the edge of hatred in her voice. “Fuck, Selene, I don’t know.”
“Don’t get all weird.” She pauses, taking a sip of her Scotch. When she speaks again, her voice is different. Soft. Worried. “I think the guy she was seeing messed her up. I think he did something awful to her.”
My chest clenches. “What?”
“I don’t know for sure—she hasn’t told me,” she says. “But that’s the thing. She won’t tell me anything. He wasn’t some guy she hooked up with a few times. It went on for months, as far as I can tell. But she kept the whole thing hidden, like there was something wrong. Think about it. There was something wrong. She was with someone she didn’t want us to know about. I bet she knew we wouldn’t approve of him. I think something really dark was going on, and she didn’t want us to know about it.”
I take a sip of my drink. I don’t know what to say.
“Whoever he was, he must have done something awful to her,” she says. “I think that’s why she’s avoiding me. She got hurt really bad, and she doesn’t want to tell me.”
Selene’s eyes glisten with a hint of tears. I can feel her concern, her emotions leaking into me.
“I hope she’s okay,” I say, my voice soft. “But I honestly don’t know.”
She taps her fingernails against her glass, looking at me through narrowed eyes. “What is up with you lately?”
“Nothing.” I need more Scotch.
“You say that like you can hide things from me,” she says. “I know you. Something has been going on and you’re not talking about it. God, between Kylie ignoring me and you being all broody and weird—” She stops talking midstream, her mouth hanging open. “Oh my god.”
“What?”
Her dark eyes dig into me. “Braxton, did something happen between you and Kylie?”
Yes, I ruined us both. “No.”
Her mouth opens wider, and she sets her drink on the coffee table. “Holy shit. You slept with her didn’t you?”
I swallow hard, looking away. I can’t lie again, so I don’t say anything.
“Tell me,” she says.
I stare at the floor.
“Tell me the goddamn truth,” she says, her voice sharp. “You promised me, Braxton. You promised me you wouldn’t do this. Did you lie to me?”
“Yes.”
She sucks in a breath and I wince. The tirade is about to start. She stands up and paces around the living room. “For fuck’s sake, Braxton. Really? Kylie? Do you see what you did?”
“I know what I did.”
“No, you don’t,” she says. “You screwed us all over. Why couldn’t you just keep it in your goddamn pants? You get every woman you want. Why did you have to add her to your list of fucking hookups?”
“It wasn’t like that, Selene,” I say. “I didn’t hook up with her.”
“You promised me you wouldn’t,” she says.
“It was too late.”
She stops and puts her hands on her hips. “What? You had already slept with her?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t—”
Selene cuts me off. “Goddamn it, Braxton, why did you do that? Why did you take my best friend from me?”
Anger pours through me, and I stand up, clenching my fists. “She was my best friend, too. I lost everything when I lost her.” I’m breathing hard, and I want to put my fist through a wall.
Selene looks a little scared. “I knew this would happen,” she says. “I knew if you fucked around with her you’d screw it up for all of us. Why did you have to use her like that?”
I’m so mad my vision is going blurry. I might have to leave before I break something. I’d never hurt Selene, not in a million years, but I don’t want to scare her when I blow up. “I did not use her. I would never.”
“This is what I was afraid of,” Selene says, shouting at me. “I knew you would do this. You took her from me, damn it. Why did you fucking take her? She wasn’t yours!”
My anger melts, emptiness spreading through my chest so fast I can’t stop it. I fall back down to the couch and bury my face in my hands. My walls crumble.
She isn’t mine.
Selene is silent for a long moment. I don’t look up. I can’t.
“Brax,” she says, finally. Her tone is soft, with a hint of fear. “Brax, what’s going on? What are you doing?” I feel her sit down next to me. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I loved her,” I say. I can barely choke out the words. My eyes burn. I have to get my shit together. I’ve never cried in front of anyone in my life—especially not my sister.
“What?” Selene breathes.
I take a deep breath and find my voice, my face still in my hands. “I loved her, Selene. I’ve always loved her. When she broke up with Derek, I told her.”
“That was months ago,” she says.
I nod.