“Them’s two different things entirely, son. Speaking of last call, you got any more of that bourbon in the drawer?”
Hallelujah, he did. Not that I’m big on drinking in the middle of the day, but I could do with a drop if we was gonna keep jawing about serious things. Jesse Joe give me the bottle and I tipped out a little into my coke. He didn’t take none, though. His mama and daddy both was hard drinkers. They say it’s the Indian blood, got a weakness for liquor. Drink and misery killed his mama dead.
“Anyway, that’s all,” he said. “I didn’t buy her that ring planning on hanging around like a dog. When she grows up and meets a nice guy, as long as he’s good to her, I’ll be happy.”
“And what if she grows up and wants to marry you?”
Jesse Joe laughed and damned if he didn’t take out the bourbon again and add some to both our cokes.
“That ain’t no way to run a business, pouring me drinks while I’m on the clock. I ain’t so much as picked up a wrench to put the Lewiston’s mower back together.”
“It’s almost time to knock off, old man. Drink up.”
I could see what he meant to do, so I said, “Well? What if?”
He drained that bourbon and coke in three big swallows, and shook his head.
“Hell, if she grows up and for some crazy reason she still wants to marry me, fine. That ring is a sincere promise. If she wanted to get married, we’d go to the courthouse and do it. You know I’m not much for going to church, but if she wanted a church wedding, we’d have a church wedding, white dress, the whole deal.”
“And some new boots to go with it.” I said it to make him laugh, ’cause I could see it upset him. Either thinking about her wanting to marry him, or more likely thinking about her growing up and not wanting to marry him. Boy had got himself in a hell of a spot. Maybe she would outgrow the notion and he’d still be in love with her. I just hoped I’d be with my Paola before he put that gun in his mouth.
5
WAVY
October 1982
Mama kept her makeup and pills in a drawer, like secrets. Sandy spread hers out on a fancy table in her bedroom. She had lots of makeup, too, and a round plastic case with a pharmacy label on it. Real pills from a doctor.
That’s what I was looking at when Sandy walked in and turned on the light.
“Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. You scared the crap out of me, Wavy. What are you doing?”
Never get caught was the rule, but sometimes I was careless at the trailers. All I was really scared of was Liam catching me, so I mostly only listened for his voice.
“Are you stealing stuff from me? Or just snooping, so you can report back to your mommy?” Sandy said.
I shook my head and showed her my empty hands. Just like that, she stopped glaring at me and smiled.
“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “You weren’t taking stuff, were you? You were just looking. God, you’re sneaky quiet. I didn’t even hear you come in. Do you like to put on makeup?”
Sometimes Sandy talked to me like a little kid or like I was stupid. A lot of people did. Scott used to say, “She’s a couple sandwiches shy of a picnic, ain’t she?” Before I beat him at poker. People thinking I was stupid wasn’t all bad. Sometimes they told me secrets because they knew I wouldn’t repeat them.
“Do you want to try on some of my makeup? Go on and sit down,” Sandy said.
I took a step toward the door, but she was in the way.
“No, don’t go, honey. I’m sorry I yelled at you. You just surprised me. Don’t go.”
Sandy wasn’t like Dee, who only talked nice to me when other people were around. Plus, she had come with Kellen to get me from the sheriff’s office, even though Liam hit her for that. She walked over to the makeup table, away from the door. She wasn’t going to make me stay.
“You need something pale. Pink, because you’re so fair. This is a good color, this lipstick. It’s called Cherub’s Kiss. Do you like this one?”
She said it so singsongy, so nice, the way she talked to the cat who lived under the porch. Kitty-kitty, do you want some of my tuna sandwich? I put my finger on the box of brilliant blue and green eye shadow squares. It was like a set of watercolors, but more beautiful.
“That’s eye shadow. You have to be careful because you’re so fair. Dee wears too much eye makeup because her eyebrows and her eyelashes are pale, but that’s not right. You’re a natural beauty, so you don’t need much makeup. But when you’re older you’ll have to stay out of the sun or you’ll wrinkle.”
We went down the table with me touching things and Sandy telling me what they were: mascara, eyeliner, lip liner, blusher, eyelash curler. I liked how she explained everything. Mama never explained anything. She just made rules and that was that.
I put my finger on the plastic case from the pharmacy.
“Oh, that’s not makeup, honey. That’s my pills. Are you old enough to know about where babies come from?”