“Yes, and that was a lovely sentiment. It itches, though. Kind of like I have ants in my pants.”
“Oh.” Landon kept one eye on the stairs as he moved behind me. “Do you have anything on under this?”
“My bra and underwear.”
“And you’re going to run around in that?”
“I just need this off, Landon. I’m not lying about the itching. It’s starting to hurt.”
“Okay. Hold on.” Landon unzipped the back of the dress. It was a relief to step out of it.
Of course, because it was soap opera world and everything was surreal, I found I had a new outfit waiting for me underneath. “What the heck? I didn’t put this on.”
Landon took one look at the snug jeans and low-cut top and smiled. “That’s kind of nice.” He dipped his finger into the top and pulled it out. “Very nice.”
I slapped his hand away. “We’re getting toward the end of the storyline,” I reminded him. “There’s no way she’s going to give us time for that now.”
“I can wait.” Landon smacked a kiss against my lips.
“Why are you suddenly in such a good mood?”
“I have no idea. It’s nice, though, huh?”
“Very nice.”
“Stop focusing on each other and focus on me,” Aunt Tillie bellowed. “I’m the leading lady.”
Landon heaved out a sigh. “You’re not my leading lady.”
“I can change that.”
The meaning of her words hung like an icy curtain over the room, and Landon involuntarily shuddered. “I’m good.”
“That’s what I thought,” Aunt Tillie barked. “Now, I was in the middle of confessing why I did what I did. Stop focusing on Echo’s outfit and pay attention to me.”
“I apologize,” Landon said. “Please continue with your confession. I’m enjoying it a great deal.” He took the opportunity to look down my shirt a second time. “A great, great deal.”
“He had to die,” Aunt Tillie repeated. Luckily she couldn’t see Landon, because he was feeling a bit amorous and he opted to rub his cheek against mine rather than pay attention to whatever she was doing on the second floor. “He was evil. His father was evil, and that evil took over after the brain transplant.”
“Why would you marry an evil man?” Clove asked.
“He tricked me.”
“Really, the great and omnipotent Alexis Kane was tricked. I’m shocked.” Thistle made an exaggerated face. “By the way, why do you have a different name than your kid?”
“Because I didn’t take any of my husbands’ names. Why is that important?”
“Husbands? As in plural?” Landon moved his mouth from my neck. “How many times were you married?”
“Fourteen, and I made a lovely bride each and every time.”
Landon’s eyebrows flew up his forehead. “Fourteen? You found fourteen men dumb enough to marry you?”
“I can see I should’ve shot you when I ended Michael’s torment,” Aunt Tillie growled. “You’ve got a mouth on you.”
“I think that’s rich coming from you. Still, I’m willing to forgive everything you’ve done if you come down here right now and send us home.”
Aunt Tillie didn’t immediately answer, so I stuck my head around the end of the stairwell in the hope I’d catch a glimpse of her. She’d positioned herself so she was in the exact right spot to catch my gaze.
“Hello, Echo.”
“I have to hand it to you, Aunt Tillie, you’re going all out with this one.” I worked overtime to keep my tone even. “You’re staying in character. You’ve created an elaborate storyline. Everything is coming together for us, isn’t it?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“How much longer?”
“I have no idea.” Aunt Tillie’s grin was impish. “Admit it. You’re having fun, aren’t you?”
“I wouldn’t call it fun.”
“How can you not find this enjoyable? It’s exhilarating.”
“It’s fun for you. It’s harder for us.”
“How can you say that? Look at everything you’ve gotten to do today. You even got married.”
“Not really.” I swallowed hard. “That was almost painful.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Aunt Tillie’s eyes sparkled. “It was cathartic for you because you weren’t sure Landon would be there when you turned that corner. But he was there, and that erased any and all doubts you’ve ever had. It bolstered you.”
“Landon?” I raised an eyebrow. “I thought his name was Jericho. You just showed your hand, Aunt Tillie. I wasn’t sure until this exact moment if you were real or simply an image you inserted into the storyline. Now I know.”
“You think you know,” Aunt Tillie corrected. “You don’t know anything yet.”
“I know there’s only one way out of here, and we’re not going to allow you to escape.”
Aunt Tillie snorted. “I created this world, Bay. Do you really think I don’t have an exit plan?” She winked before disappearing behind the wall. When she spoke again, her voice was much farther away. “I always have an exit plan.”
“Crap.” Landon didn’t hesitate before bolting up the stairs.
I followed, scanning the empty balcony before fixing my eyes on the door at the far side of the space. It was ajar. Aunt Tillie had clearly escaped through it.
“I really should’ve seen that coming,” I lamented.
“Yeah, well, let’s go.” Landon held out his hand. “We have to be getting close to the end. What else could she possibly do?”
That was a scary thought.
So she somehow fell under mind control, turned into a serial killer, got possessed by the Devil and is still considered the show’s heroine? Where can I sign up for that gig? I’ve got a few ideas.
– Aunt Tillie on how to be the perfect heroine
Seventeen
We hit the door that led outside, finding ourselves in another wooded environment. Because it looked as if we would have to start hoofing it, Clove and Thistle stripped out of their terrible bridesmaids’ dresses and found impractical soap outfits underneath.
“I would be better off going barefoot than wearing these shoes,” Thistle groused as she glared at her heels. “It’s not as if I’ll be able to run in them.”
“Aunt Tillie is old,” Clove pointed out. “How fast can she run?”
That was a question I couldn’t answer. “It’s her world. She knows all the tricks.”
“And she wants us to follow,” Landon said. “The thing is, she doesn’t want us to catch her … yet.”
“So what do we do?” Thistle was at her limit as she lifted a shoe to stare at the icepick heel. “These shoes are all kinds of stupid.”
“At least you’re not wearing a shirt that completely shows off your assets,” I noted, pointing to my chest.
“Oh, we’re going to see if we can keep that shirt.” Landon grinned. “I’m a big fan.”
“Maybe they’ll have it in the gift shop.”
“We can only hope.”
“I think my shirt is worse,” Clove complained, stepping to the center of our little circle so she could show off her impressive cleavage. “It’s so tight I can barely breathe. I don’t think it’s very flattering either.”
“I think it’s flattering.” It was. Clove was the most well-endowed of all of us, and her assets were clearly on display thanks to Aunt Tillie’s new wardrobe. “In fact, I think you look nice.”
Clove wasn’t convinced. “What do you think, Sam?”
“Hmm.” Sam jerked his eyes from Clove’s cleavage. “Did you say something, honey?”
Marcus snorted. “I think we know how Sam feels.”
“Do you think it’s indecent, Landon?” Clove asked, her eyes wide with worry. “I don’t want to make a name for myself. Aunt Tillie always told me that was a possibility if I wore the wrong clothes.”
I scowled. “She never should’ve told you that.”
“Yeah, from the woman who wears leggings that show off … well, everything. I wouldn’t take her fashion advice to heart,” Thistle said. “But I want to know why you two got slutty shirts and I got one that covers everything.”
“It’s because you don’t have anything to show off.” Landon clearly responded before he thought better of it. “I mean … um … Bay, I think this one is for you to answer.”