“Yes, like this.” Her shoulders spring up, her lips puckered.
I laugh, flexing my grip on her hand. “Sorry, pidge. I’m a bit distracted.” I look at her out of the corner of my eye, wondering if I’m brave enough to plunge into a conversation with my seven-year-old about a relationship. It’s only ever been me and her. What will she make of another woman in my life?
“What’s on your mind, Daddy?” Our hands swing between us, and she looks up at me with concern.
I can’t do it. What would I say anyway? Besides, I should wait for Raya’s reaction to my news before I even think to concern Georgia with a woman who may or may not be in our life. What if I tell her and Raya bolts?
“I was wondering if I’m going to have one scoop of ice cream or two.”
“Three!” she sings, stopping and jumping on the spot excitedly.
I laugh and point toward the lake. “Shall we skip?”
She snorts. “Boys can’t skip.”
“Wanna bet?” I release her and break into what I’m pretty sure is a skip.
Clearly my daughter thinks otherwise, her small body folding with laughter, her palms meeting her knees to hold her up. “That’s not skipping, silly.” Like a pro, she passes me with grace and elegance, dancing off toward the lake. “This is skipping!”
“Easy peasy!” I shout, following on behind, smiling like mad at her pigtails swinging like propellers as she goes. “See, I can do it.”
Georgia looks back, a little breathless. “Oh, Daddy.” She shakes her head, dismayed, as I barrel toward her, legs kicking out all over the place. “You’re funny.”
I’m blowing out my fucking arse by the time I make it to her, now my hands braced on my knees as I puff before her. “Ice cream?”
“Yes!”
I turn and crouch so she can take up position on my back. Her arms around my shoulders, her face close to mine. I sigh and get us on our way.
“Do you think they have salted caramel?” she asks.
“I hope so. It’s my favorite, too.” I take us through the maze of rosebushes, leaning down when Georgia demands so she can pick one. “Just one. And watch the thorns.” She plucks it delicately from the bush and tucks it behind my ear.
Breaking out through a small opening onto the path that leads to the riverside ice cream parlour, I drop her to her feet and transfer the rose from my ear to hers. “Why don’t you get that seat?” I point to the bench facing out onto the river, where swans are swimming in circles waiting for any scraps left by passersby. She’s off quickly, still skipping, still putting me to shame. “Don’t go too near the swans!” I call after her.
“I won’t!”
I make my way inside, relieved to see salted caramel is on the menu. I order two sundaes, one eye trained on the window where I can see Georgia on the bench, her legs swinging happily. “Can I get some napkins?” I ask, preparing for the mess that’s about to ensue.
When I make it to the door, I start to negotiate the ice creams into one hand to let myself out.
“Let me get that for you.”
“Thanks.” The door is pulled open, and I’m about to make my way through when the voice registers, dropping anchors into my feet as it does. I glance up and find Raya holding the door open.
“Hi,” she says, her face pink and damp from exertion. She’s clad in Lycra, but not very much of it.
“Hi,” I mumble back. Oh fuck. What do I do? “Been for a run?” What a stupid question.
“No, horse riding.” She rolls her eyes and moves in, reaching up and kissing my cheek, her warm palms resting on my chest.
If my hands weren’t full and my mind in fucking chaos, I’d embrace her, kiss the living daylights out of her, but instead I’m a statue, tense and worried. So fucking worried.
“You okay?” she asks.
I watch her register the two dishes of ice cream in my hands. One for me, and one for…who? That’s what she’s thinking. I quickly glance across to the bench where Georgia is, seeing she’s at a safe distance. “Yeah, you?” I straighten my shoulders and regret it. My need to stand tall and try to act normal has just earned me a killer of a stab in my shoulder.
“Still struggling?” Raya asks, resting her hand on my shoulder and rubbing into it.
I go lax under her hold, groaning in pleasure. “Probably not a good idea to do that here.”
She laughs, soft and light. “Maybe after our dinner.”
If she hasn’t done a runner after I deliver my news. On that note, I pull back. I need to go before Raya has a chance to ask why I have two ice creams in my hand.
“Why two ice creams?”
Fuck. “Hungry.” I shrug, edging toward the door.
She frowns, eyeing my twitchy form. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” I quickly move forward and land a kiss on her cheek, another attempt to appear normal. I’m a joke. “Call you later.”
“Daddy?”
Oh no. I pull back from Raya’s cheek and watch in horror as her gaze falls to my side, where Georgia is looking up at her with way too much interest on her cute little face.
“I’m Georgia,” she declares, loud and proud. “What’s your name?”
I close my eyes and breathe deeply, wishing the numbing effects the ice cream is having on my fingers would spread to everywhere else. I chance a peek at Raya, catching her eyes slowly turning from my girl to me. Her head cocks. “Georgia?” It’s a question, one she already knows the answer to, yet she wants me to confirm it. “Just a friend.” Raya does a terrible job of impersonating me.
My lips press together, feeling so small. I shrug. I have nothing else, not even the will to be offended when Raya scowls at me as she hunkers down to my daughter’s level. “Hey, Georgia!” She sounds so chirpy, and I can’t work out if it’s faked to mask her shock, or if she’s truly pleased to meet her. “I’m Raya.”
Georgia’s little face is like a kick in the teeth. She looks so pleased. “Do you know my dad?”
“Not really,” Raya says, flicking accusing eyes up at me. She’s having a dig, saying without actually saying that she thought she knew me.
“Dad’s favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast. I’m Belle,” Georgia announces proudly. “And Dad is my beast.”
“A beast, eh?” Raya smiles. I think it’s a fond smile. “He is a bit of a beast, isn’t he?”
Another dig. If the ground was to open and swallow me up, then that would be fine by me. Fucking hell, I need to pull this back quickly. “Georgia, why don’t you go wait for me on the bench.” I hand her one of the ice creams and toss mine in the bin, all hunger gone. I could do with a drink.
“We’re going to eat ice cream.” Georgia points to the bench where I wish she’d stayed put. “Want to come?”
My eyes go all round. “I’m sure Raya has a busy day.”
“Yes, I do.” Her stare lands on me with a bang, and I flinch. Good Lord, the resolve on her face is enough to push me back into the wall behind me. “I’m going to the airport tomorrow.”
“Cool!” Georgia sings, while my eyes bug. Tomorrow? “Where are you going?”