Her ragged exhale signals her climax, and I let my own release rip through me savagely, staring at Raya as we fight through the pleasure.
She gasps, falling into my chest, the natural meld of her naked body into mine just fucking perfect. I rest my mouth on her neck and circle my arms around her shoulders, exhaling deeply as she sighs and burrows deeper into me. It feels so damn good.
“Getting attached to someone wasn’t in my plan, Drew,” she murmurs, quiet and tentative. “Especially an older man who likes wrapping women up in chains. You were supposed to be cold and emotionless.”
“I tried,” I admit. But Raya has a power over me that’s dictated a war between my sensible head and my closed heart. “And so were you,” I point out. “Seems we both failed. Why d’you think that is?”
“You always find something when you’re not looking for it.”
She isn’t wrong. I nuzzle her from my neck, pulling her face to mine. I cock my head, seeing that amazing shimmer in her eyes. Except this time it’s not forced. She’s becoming attached to me? Jesus, can a man be thrilled and scared at the same time? “You’re moving to the other side of the world, Raya.”
I see utter confusion past her watery eyes. A struggle that I can relate to. “I know. And I’m mad to question my decision.”
“Why?” I ask, trying to buy some time while I urgently figure out some of the shit in my head.
“Because if you don’t have anyone, you can’t lose anyone.”
I sag where I sit, my head about to explode. She could be more scared than I am. And I don’t know what to do to reassure her, especially since I’m trying to reassure myself.
My phone chimes on the desk behind us, a text flashing up. Raya turns and looks down at the screen, as do I. Georgia’s name glows up at us.
Can’t wait to see you x
Oh fuck. It’s like the worst timing ever. I look at Raya, frozen. She stares at my phone until the screen times out and goes black. She thinks my little girl is someone else, and the disappointment on her face hurts. Right now, I could be strapped to a rotating wheel, a knife thrower with a terrible aim firing blades at me. And every one of the fuckers hits me. Bam, bam, bam!
Raya laughs a little under her breath, lightly shaking her head, as if coming to her senses. She takes a breath and starts to break away from me, our skin peeling apart. “Take care, Drew.”
Take care. It’s so final. She’s admitting defeat.
“No.” I seize her, pinning her to me, not prepared to let her go.
Though she fights me with all she has. “Get off, Drew. I’ve been made a fool of before. I’m not interested in going there again. I can’t sustain any more hurt. It’ll break me.”
That fucking kills. “Raya, it’s not like that.”
She laughs. “Oh my God, I’m so stupid.” She gives up trying to escape and drops her head to my chest, hiding from me. “What was I thinking? You must think I’m so naive.”
Rightly or wrongly, I take offense. I close my eyes to gather some patience. I’m desperate to tell her that Georgia isn’t who she thinks she is, yet I don’t even know where to start that conversation. I’m not even sure we should be having it at all, because then what will that mean for our future?
“I don’t think you’re naive. It’s just a friend.” I breathe the words, desperate to reassure her, since I know trust is a major issue for her. It’s a little backward to say the least, since I’m lying, but the point is, Georgia really isn’t who she thinks she is.
“A friend?” I see hope in her eyes again.
“A friend,” I confirm. “Trust me, Raya, please.” And then I ask something I’ve never asked a woman before in my life. “Have dinner with me this weekend.” Between now and then, I need to find a way to tell her everything. That I’m a dad, about Coral, and the history.
“Dinner?”
“Yes, dinner,” I confirm. “It strikes me as unusual that we’ve fucked plenty of times, but we’ve never actually had dinner.”
She pulls back, getting me in her sights. Her suppressed smile isn’t appreciated. She’s mocking me. “It strikes you as unusual?”
I have never, not once, blushed in my life. But right now, I have forty years’ worth of them collecting on my cheeks. I sigh. “Will you have dinner with me or not?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow morning.” She bites her lip, gauging my reaction. I’m pretty sure I don’t disappoint her.
My gawk must be fierce. “Tomorrow morning?” Jesus, she doesn’t hang around.
“The house is sold, and my solicitor will take care of the final details.” Her eyes drop down to my naked chest. “There’s nothing here for me anymore,” she says quietly.
“What if there was?” The words are out before I can’t think better of it, and her gaze darts back up to mine.
“Are you telling me not to go?”
I sag beneath her, so fucking exhausted by all this. “I don’t know, Raya. I honestly don’t know.”
“I could delay my trip,” she says tentatively, on a little shrug. “You know, so we can have dinner.”
Life pumps in my veins again. That would be perfect. No pressure. I’ll tell her about Georgia, and we’ll go from there. “You’d do that?”
“Sure. Changing a flight isn’t too hard.” She smiles shyly, and something passes between us. Maybe understanding. But it’s tarnished somewhat on my part, because while I have all the facts, Raya does not. But she will soon. I yank her back down to me and lose myself once more.
Hopefully not for the last time.
Chapter 10
Have you slept?” Coral asks, taking in my untrimmed stubble, my crumpled clothes, and my bloodshot eyes. I know I look a state, and for once in my life I don’t give a shit. No, I haven’t slept. After I took Raya home, I spent all night wondering how the fuck I’m going to tell her about my little girl. I have too much going on in my head to care much for my appearance. So my answer to Coral’s question is a scowl. She has a towel wrapped around her wet hair, a small robe on that’s not quite fastened enough; the plunge between her breasts appears strategic. It does nothing for me.
I take Georgia’s hand and walk us down to the car. “Daddy, are you sick?” Her concerned face looks up at me, her pigtails wonky.
“I have a headache,” I admit. “But do you know what will make it better?” I stop us at the car and straighten her hair ties.
“What?”
I crouch before her. “Ice cream in the park.”
“Yay!” She squeals and launches herself at me, so I’m forced to place a hand on the concrete behind me to support us. “Can we go on the swings?”
“Sure we can.” I lift her and walk around to the other side, getting her in the car. “You can push me.” Her nose wrinkles, and she giggles when I tickle her belly.
*
My idea of an outing in the park wasn’t entirely for Georgia’s benefit. I desperately need the fresh air to clear my pounding head.
“You okay, Dad?”
“Huh?” I look down at my girl as we wander toward the lake, her hand covered by mine.
Her face furrows. “You keep jumping.”
“Do I?”