Aliens Abroad

“Hey, Kitty,” Tim said, “we found more information. We can’t translate it—it’s not in any language the Universal Translator knows, Wheatles and Grentix don’t recognize it, and it’s not one of the languages Ixtha taught to us in our sleep.”

“Wow, this trip down is boring except for looking at all the cool underground architecture, which is amazing and impressive, like something out of Tolkien.” Didn’t speak in English, because I had to figure that was going to make Telzor suspicious at this juncture. Wondered who was in the shuttle and who was, presumably, on the huge platform with us. Wished Jerry had told me, but I’d just have to roll with the surprises.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tim said. “I know that was a dull preamble. But you needed to know it, because we think whatever we found is important. It’s definitely from the first solar system, the one whose star went supernova. We were able to use some equipment the Ignotforstans brought with them and carbon-date it. Close to what everyone thinks is the beginning of the galaxy, maybe even the universe.”

The beginning. Just like the song playing.

“Chuck says we can’t be sure without Wruck’s input, though,” Tim continued, “but the hackers are checking.”

So Chuckie was, presumably, in the shuttle, and Wruck was, presumably, on the platform. Wondered if Wruck was disguised. Possibly as Telzor. Really hoped that wasn’t the case. Though he could be Roanach or Clorence. Or Buchanan. Or one of the extra rabbits. Or else Siler was on the longest blend of his life. Perfect time for it.

“Telzor, this deep underground, how is it that we can all breathe?”

He seemed shocked by this question. “It’s complex.”

“Do I need to table this?” Tim asked. “You sound like you’re in trouble. Like always.”

“I’m sure it is. But I’m also sure it’s fascinating.”

It appeared I’d found Telzor’s hobby. He started talking about how the air was pumped in, and White, being the quick study that he always was, asked questions and kept Telzor rolling.

Thankfully, Tim picked up that I wanted him to keep on going, too. “Gotcha. Like the stalling technique. Try not to let your eyes glaze over, though.”

Telzor paused for breath. “Can you tell me about why there aren’t more people than the ones I’ve seen? Races, I mean. I’ve only seen sheep, opossums, rabbits, and cattle. We have more races on our planets, which is why I’m asking. From little jellyfish ones all the way up to huge elephants, and more besides.”

Telzor shook his head. “That is for our Mad Lord Johpunnt to share.”

“I’m very interested in how you keep the temperatures so moderate,” White said, not missing a beat. Wondered if he and Buchanan were on the call, too. Kind of hoped so. “Particularly with all the active volcanoes.”

We’d hit another one of Telzor’s interests. He started yabbering away about airflows and such.

“Got it,” Tim said. “We’ll deal with your concern first—Mother’s scanned where you are and you’re not in some weird fake world—what you’re seeing should be real. The animals scan as the sizes you’re seeing, based on where you’re all looking when you talk to them and what the others described to us when they ran away at the start of your interaction with the natives.”

“Hmmm.” Ensured I looked fascinated. Telzor seemed to buy it.

“We’re certain that the planet that sent this meteor spaceship—because that’s what Wheatles is certain the meteor actually is, a spaceship—is the same one that sent the Mykali to Earth. And—”

Tim stopped talking. And I didn’t hear voices on the other end.





CHAPTER 102


HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. Really wanted to panic, but now was the definition of not the right time. “I’m amazed that we’re not witnessing eruptions, though.” Went with lame, because it was all I was up to.

“I just explained that,” Telzor said.

“Sorry, it’s just a lot to take in and it’s so interesting. And I’m kind of afraid of being blown up, call me a silly worrywart.”

“The Queen enjoys this kind of thing but she has, ah, people for it back on our home worlds,” White said.

“Ah,” Telzor replied knowingly. “I will explain again.” He started talking, this time more slowly. Actively chose not to be offended, mostly because me acting stupid was currently the best cover I had for this weird call.

“Sorry,” Tim said, sounding excited. “We saw movement and I had to be quiet just in case we were being attacked. We’re not. Everyone’s fine and, great news—Ixtha’s found us!”

“Really?” I said to something Telzor said, doing my best to sound fascinated. Again, Telzor seemed to buy it, if me getting a kindly look and more Explanations For The Slow Of Wit were indicators.

“Yeah! They were underground, just like we’d suspected. But Christopher moved so fast, they couldn’t make contact with him and Butler on any of the other landmasses.”

Heard more voices in the background, but had no way to make a comment—Telzor was in full explanation mode.

Tim returned. “Ixtha says we were hard to find because we chose to land in what they consider the ancient dead city. What we’ve been digging through hasn’t been touched for thousands of their years, possibly longer. And she’s not sure that anyone ever found the room we’re in, which is where the meteor spaceship is. A-Cs for the win, and Real Naked Apes are pretty great, too. By the way, they love that nickname you gave them. And, get this—Ixtha’s not alone. There are lions. And tigers. And bears.”

“Oh my.”

Telzor took this as my being hella impressed by volcano containment and carried on.

“Knew you’d enjoy that. Literally there’s every animal we’ve ever seen. And I mean ever. Christopher’s done a fast run through—every animal we know of, at least its original, unadulterated form, is represented, including animals that are extinct. But no crossbreeds, so nothing like Labradoodles, though I see more than one dog. And there are humans, too. Ixtha’s one, or at least looks like us, at least as much as the A-Cs do.”

“Huh.”

Telzor took this as my not quite getting the explanation of how they had to dig deep into the planet to find water, not only to drink but to power things like the volcano containment and airflow. So he explained again.

“It’s like Zootopia here. They can all speak, and they’re all walking upright and wearing clothes.”

“You are so lucky.” Whoops. That one slipped out by accident.

However, Telzor seemed pleased by my enthusiasm for their finding vast springs underground. He continued on with his explanation.

“We heard,” Tim snickered. “Better all of you than all of us is the Blue Team’s reaction to the nudist colony you landed on. Anyway, it’s not just creatures from our planet. We can see examples of everything. There’s a bird that looks like it could be where both Peregrines and peacocks come from, for example. Beings from all the other planets we know, but, as with ours, nothing that’s a hybrid created by humans or A-Cs . . . what?” Heard voices in the background. “Oh, yeah, good point, no Apatan hybrids, either. Christopher’s found things none of us recognize, too. He says the only things he can’t find are Poofs.”

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