After All

“When were you going to tell me you were going to move back to London?”

His features go slack. “I don’t know. At some point.”

“But when?”

“I don’t know,” he says again and takes a sniff of the wine. “Not bad.”

“Emmett,” I hiss. “Please. I can’t believe you’ve been thinking about this and you didn’t have the courtesy to even tell me.”

His eyes narrow. “Courtesy? Why would I have to tell you?”

“Because.”

Because I’m me. And aren’t I something to you?

“Alyssa,” he says, lowering his voice, “we’re not an actual couple, you know. I don’t have to tell you everything.”

Oh my god. Ow.

OW.

I can’t help but wince at his words.

He sighs. “I didn’t mean it to come out so harsh,” he says. “I just…I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it and that’s it really.”

“But you think you might have to leave Boomerang.”

“I know I will. My contract with them is only so long. It’s up pretty soon and from the way people have been talking and the way the scripts are going, the ratings, I don’t think I’ll be there for much longer. And it’s fine. For once, it’s truly fine. This is a good thing.”

“Yeah, for you.”

“Why not for you? Nothing changes. We’ll still fulfill our contract, you’ll still get your money. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah but…,” I trail off. But it’s not about the money. It’s about you.

Ah, shit. I’m thinking back to my conversation with Jackie last night and how carried away I was getting thinking there was more to us than there is. This is a perfect example of the fact that everything so far has just been in my head, wishful thinking.

I put on a brave, completely fake, smile. “I guess if I still get paid, that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t have wanted all of this to be for nothing.”

If my words hurt him in any way, he doesn’t show it. “You know, it wasn’t until I met you that I had the courage to realize what I really wanted. I think going back to my passion is the right thing to do. Maybe some people will say it’s failure or that I’m moving backwards, but I don’t see it that way.”

Well that’s good for you. You’ll move forwards, backwards, wherever, but it’s going to be without me.

He warned me. He really did.

“Come on,” he says to me, grabbing my hand. “I’ve had enough of this cockamamie place. We should probably go check on Jackie and Will, make sure she hasn’t drowned him or anything. Man, I haven’t seen a woman so easily affected by hanger before in my life.”

I nod absently and let him lead me out of the winery. When we’re back in the sunshine and strolling down the road back to the cabin, he still doesn’t let go of my hand.

“The sky here is so blue,” he says, staring up. “You must have loved growing up here. Fucking eh, it would have been so hot in the middle of summer but with having that lake right there I bet it was just bliss.”

“Yeah,” I say quietly, so confused. So, so confused.

He looks to me, tilting his head. “Are you okay?”

You might move back to London and you didn’t even tell me!

“Yeah,” I give him a big smile. “I’m fine. I guess I’m just taking it all in.”

“Would you ever move back here?” he asks me.

“Maybe to settle down.”

“Oh really. And who does Alyssa Martin see herself settling down with here? A winemaker?”

“Who knows,” I tell him honestly. Maybe he would have played one on TV.





Chapter 17





Alyssa





“Baby!” My mother cries out, throwing open her arms and practically running down the path to see me.

Before I can even say hello, she’s scooping me up in her arms. My mother has gotten skinnier and I swear shorter over time, so much so that I resemble a giant fluffy pillow next to her, but somehow, she’s still strong, like freakishly strong. Like, she might just bench-press me, I don’t know.

“Oh, you look so lovely,” she says once she pulls back and examines my face. “No need for Botox yet either.”

I roll my eyes. My mother is extremely vain, probably brought on by the fact that my father was a philandering dickhead. I’m pretty lucky though that by the time I was born, she didn’t care so much about appearances. Not like she did with my sisters. They all got the brunt of it, which is probably why they all went off and married so young. It was pretty much what they were conditioned to do.

“And here is the rest of the gang,” she says, letting me go and turning her sights to Emmett, Jackie and Will.

She goes to Emmett first, sauntering over to him and wagging her finger. “I know you from all the pictures in the magazines. I have to say, you’re a lot more handsome in person. In the pictures you look kind of, I don’t know, gay I guess.”

“Mom!” I cry out, completely embarrassed.

“Well that’s what happens when you do gay porn,” Emmett jokes.

“Emmett!” Now I’m admonishing him. “She’ll take you seriously.”

“Oh, come now, I know when people are joking,” my mother says. “And don’t get me wrong, if you were gay Emmett, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. For all I know, this could be one of those beard relationships, you know. Like with George Clooney.”

“What about George Clooney?” Jackie asks in a shocked whisper.

My mother dismisses her with a wave of her hand. “Oh, you should hear what the girls at the beauty parlor say. I’m telling you, if you want to know the inside scoop on things, you go down to Barbara’s on third street and you’ll get all caught up. Of course, they had stuff to say about you, Emmett. I do have to wonder if it’s true.”

“Like what?” Emmett asks but I detect fear in his voice. I’d forgotten how overbearing my mother can be when she first meets people. It will take her a few hours to calm down.

“They say you’re a playboy, you know. Always with a flavor of the month, until you met my Alyssa, of course. Which does make me wonder, what could she possibly offer you that the other girls couldn’t? More of her to love, I suppose.”

“Oh my god,” I mutter, rubbing my palm into my forehead. “Make it stop.”

“It’s okay,” Emmett says to me. “It’s a fair statement. I guess I liked to have some fun, no harm in that, but when you meet the right person, nothing else really seems to matter anymore.”

His words sound more flippant than serious, so I’m trying not to let my heart get carried away again.

“They also say you like to get in fights. I heard you were arrested in LA. I have to say, good for you. I like a man who can fight for what’s right.” She’s smiling and then suddenly stops. “But if you really do turn out to be an asshole to my Alyssa here, I’ll be the one fighting you, so don’t even think about it. I know your type.”

Emmett looks both insulted and scared.

I try to give him an apologetic smile and then point to Jackie and Will who have been standing behind me this whole time, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.